"Puberty? No Thanks."

On the radio at work the other day, an interesting story caught my attention and I stopped to take a listen.

A mother in Denver, Colorado publicly chastised her 13 year old daughter who had created a Facebook page, posed as a 19 year old girl and posted racy photos of herself on that page. When her mom found out about this page and the fact that she had befriended older men that were more than double her age, she took to Facebook. Posting a video of her openly reprimanding her daughter, mother Valerie Starks pointed out different things - her daughter's true age, her bed time, what she watches on TV - that would hopefully clear the air that this girl truly is 13.

I am not here to discuss whether or not Valerie Starks' chosen method of punishment is fair or not, while that is an interesting topic of discussion. What I do want to talk about is the 13 year old girl.

I have never met this 13 year old girl before. I don't know her situation, what is going through her mind and the troubles that she has been through. And some how, knowing this information may be able to help answer the question why. Why did she make this Facebook page? Why did she pose as a 19 year old girl? Why?

In a previous post I marveled at how girls seem to be maturing at double the speed that I was. When I say maturing, I mean the clothes they wear, how they talk, how they present themselves and what they do in their spare time. It is quite shocking to be scrolling through Instagram or Facebook and see girls that I have seen growing up in elementary school, and all of a sudden, they are going out to parties or spending afternoons with their friends downtown.

But the biggest thing that surprises me about this 13 year old girl and other girls of similar age is the fact that they seemed to have bypass the whole adolescence and puberty stage and went straight to being teenagers.

In a time when the world is so focused on consumerism and instant gratification, I have begun to brush shoulders with younger girls inside of H&M. I would be waiting in line at Starbucks sandwiched in between the tweens of today. They would be going to the parties that I have never gone to.

I might be a tad jealous. Just a bit. But at the same time, I feel sad for the up and coming generation.

The biggest part of life is growing up. Growing up has it's perks, but it also has its ugly sides. One of those ugly sides is the awkward stage of puberty.

I loathed puberty. The minute I turned 12 it seemed like it all went down hill from there. It was like the universe was taunting me, saying "Hey, happy birthday, here is a storm of nasty things for you to enjoy for the rest of your life." And those nasty things included angry hormones, acne, untamed eyebrows, weight gain and continually looking flat as a board.

Of course, all bad things come to an end and eventually pass as well, and the golden age of 15 seemed to be when puberty began to bite the dust inside of me. Now, I can confidently say that I look more like a girl, and I can also very confidently say that I do not miss puberty one bit.

Having said that, one can't just bypass puberty. You can't take a pass on it, say "thanks but no thanks" and pretend like it doesn't exist. Because like it or not, you are growing up and when you grow up, a lot of things change. It is a rite of passage and coming of age thing.

So seeing girls at age 12 or 13 who wear make up, have flawless skin and are wearing clothes that I wear now is disheartening. I can't blame them for their good fortune. However, the disheartening part comes from the fact that many girls have rushed through this "coming of age".

What has forced girls to grow up so much faster than they need to? Instead of complaining about not having enough books to read, more and more girls are now concerned about what selfie they should post on Instagram. All the worries that a typical teenager would have seems to be universal across all ages of walking and talking girls, and the younger ones are starting to catch on.

I'm not saying that we need to hold on to all of our young girls and shield them from the outside world or only let them go out when they turn 20. What I hope is that girls don't feel the pressure to grow up too fast. Because let's face it, even with the restrictions that some of our parents may give us when we are young children, the life of a child is not hard at all. There is little responsibility and little risk of anything harming us. Entering into a world of social media, pop culture and consumerism can be challenging to navigate and keep up with. But young girls (and I mean real 12, 13 year olds) shouldn't feel this pressure that they have to shop at Forever 21 or have Instagram accounts.

Life is beautiful, and all girls are beautiful. Life is a process, and going through it helps you to grow and prepare for what lies ahead. And truthfully, I would have loved to skip puberty altogether, but I know that without it, I would not get to where I am today. Every day  I learn something new, and throughout puberty I learned more and more about self-awareness and self confidence.

What you wear should not define you. What social media you have or don't have should not define you. Whether or not you wear make should not define you. Your age, your weight, your height - none of that should define you.

You should be defined by who you are. We need to be the generation who is comfortable in our own skin.

Whether or not this 13 year old girl posed as a 19 year old girl because she was insecure, not feeling the adolescence life or just wanted to get back at her mom does not matter. What I hope for her, and all young girls, is that they remember that you are all wonderful and beautiful people. Puberty will pass and you will survive (living example: me). You will outgrow the awkwardness and begin to look normal (another living example: me). And in retrospect, it's not all scary. In fact, it is a life changing moment when you begin to realize that you are growing up. This growing up thing happens inevitably, and when time passes, you can't get it back. Enjoy the time that you have right now, regardless of age. You will only be 13 once - embrace it!

Never be ashamed of your age - you are special, unique, and the world needs you to be that way!

     then vs. now   

Your favorite teenager (who can't actually claim that she is a teenager anymore),

x R

We are the Generation with Our Heads Down

This post brings me so much joy because it celebrates the first poem that I have written in a very long time. I have been suffering from writers' block for nearly a month and a half now, and finally I was able to break this barrier and write something that I am actually proud of. At the same time, it gives me the opportunity to talk about something that is not as joyous, but nevertheless is something important to talk about!

I have to thank this lovely young couple, the tech couple, for this inspiration, as well as providing me with content for not just the poem but also my post today. More on these two later.

It is no secret that technology has become a major part of our lives in this time and age. From the time that the first personal computer and cellphone came out, people have been striving for better and faster gadgets, all of which can make our lives easier. The rise of this new technology bring about social media of all kinds and abilities.

We have become the generation with our heads down.

In the good old days of snail mail and face to face conversation, we were able to build up relationships through actually speaking to one another, forging friendships through finding things in common and physically being around others. Now, friendships and relationships have almost become disposable. We have hundreds of Facebook friends, but can we really claim that we are friends with all of them? We can use Tinder to find people that seem to have similar interests as us, but can we claim that it helps us start a meaningful relationship?

Returning back to the aforementioned tech couple, I encountered these two on the Skytrain a while back. They sat next to each other silently, holding hands. Their free hands were occupied with their phone, and the only sound coming from either of them came from their phones. They were like that from Columbia to Production Way, where I eventually got off.

It took me by surprise that this couple never looked up to look at each other. It made me kind of sad too, because it was not just these two that were doing it, but everyone. Including me.

Our generation will forever be remembered as the generation of selfies, endless Facebook friends, Twitter hashtags, Instagram filters, Snapchat stories and swiping right on Tinder. We have all become so boring and conceited to the point where we cannot talk properly or carry conversations without our phones sitting within a one inch radius away from us. And while social media and technology has helped many people to get powerful messages across and show resiliency and solidarity, it has also set us back as a society. We spend hours scrolling through endless posts, catching bits and pieces of other peoples' lives. We become consumed in other peoples' stories. We become anxious and compare ourselves against them. We judge and lose ourselves, and are forced to pretend to become someone we are not.

Now, we are living in a world where we take about 50 selfies before we post the perfect one, the camera eats first, and we take in the beauty of nature behind a screen. And I am guilty of all of these things.

I remember when I first realized that I was addicted to Facebook years ago. I was unsatisfied with myself and was constantly comparing myself to the other girls that I had seen on Facebook. I was not skinny enough or wearing the right clothes, my hair was not dyed and I did not have cool gadgets to show off. I could have been perfectly happy and celebrated who I was, but instead I chose to be hung up over things that I did not have. The emptiness was later filled by acceptance and weaning myself off of social media for a bit.

Of course, this is not to say that I can live without social media. I have to admit that I am an avid user of many kinds, but I suppose that the bottom line is that we need to be careful of what social media can do to us. We need to be content with ourselves and live our lives out happily.

I thank technology each and every day for bringing us to where we are today as a society. However, I really hope that we can all try our best to live, to really live, and be comfortable in our own skin.We may be the generation with our heads down, but that does not have to define us. After all, we are the generation that will need to take charge of the world sooner or later, and we need to show the world that there is more to us than statuses and tweets.

We are a great generation with so much to offer and so much to do.

Hope everyone is enjoying the lovely weather! I am off school and have been since late April, so my summer has already started! But whether or not you are a getting ready for finals, just starting summer semester or are basking in the sunshine, remember to really live and not through a screen!

Your fellow Twitterer, Instagrammer and blogger,

x R

Chapter XIX

Hello everyone! So much has happened over the past couple days and I have finally found the time to sum up everything. Since I turned 19 two days ago (and now am finally legal), here are some things (of the many, many, MANY things that I am thankful for) that I wish to give even more thanks for over the past 19 years:

1. My family! My life would not be what it is without my family. They are my inspiration, the ones that shape me to be who I am and the ones that always push me to be the best person that I can be. They are my support during the good and the bad times, and are there for me no matter what. They have taken care of me and taught me lessons that no other teachers could. Without my parents, my sisters and I would not have the opportunities that we do, and without my sisters, my life would not be nearly as fun. Together we are a great family, team, and unit. Thank you!

2. My friends! No matter when I have met them, the friends that are in my life have never disappointed me and have always supported me and stood by me. I am so thankful for the friends I have known since day one up until the ones that I have met this past year. All the people that I am so privileged to call a friend have shaped me into the person I am, holding me accountable to myself and helping to make life so much more enjoyable. Thank you!

3.Good health - Aside from the unusual sickness or annoying cough, everything is safe and healthy!

4. Depression - Though I can never deny that this has been a part of my life, I am so happy to say that it has stopped plaguing my life for nearly a year now. I have had the best support system to help me cope and battle through my issues, and all I can say is thank you to the ones that have been there for me from the start and never abandoned me. I suppose that having had this as part of my life has given me more sympathy towards this issue and in turn has made me passionate about working towards removing the stigma that is around mental illness. I hope to continue pushing this important issue!

5. School - Starting at SFU this past 8 months has been such a blessing. As much as I loved high school, I am starting to see that university is just a little bit more fun. Regardless, everything has been going really good so far. I love what I am doing and the people that I meeting.

6. Teaching - I have gained a lot of experience and am so thankful for the students that I have, as well as the parents for their dedication. It is such a joy to be teaching in my old studio and sharing with my students the love that I have for my craft! As for my own playing - I am almost done all my theory requirements (one more exam!) and then I can focus on my Piano Pedagogy exam. The mentors that have helped me over the years have given me an incredible gift - music - and putting it into practice is really a life changing gift. I really do not know what I would be doing if I did not have piano in my life!

7. Faith - It has been a turbulent road, from being on the highest highs and sinking down to the lowest lows, but I believe that it is very safe to say that right now I am in a good spot. After joining Catholic Christian Outreach (CCO) during first semester, I have met some wonderful people that have helped me through my faith journey and strengthened my love for Christ even more. The friendships and bonding that come with it are an added bonus!

8. Job - Thanks to some wonderful connections, I got a new job! So blessed to be working with my best friend and taking on the "real" world and getting experience!

9. Love - It took me a long time to see what it means to love someone. Dating in the past has brought to light misconceptions and false expectations that I have put on myself and the guys that I had once "loved", and this only led to "heartbreak" and pure infatuation. I recognize now that mature relationships have more than butterflies and romantic gestures (which, I still am a sucker for). Nonetheless, I have finally learned that true love means true sacrifice, and that the one for me is out there. I just have to learn to be patient.

10. ... - I have absolutely no idea how 19 years passed by so fast..

It really has passed by in the blink of an eye. And maybe that is just the elderly person in me talking or the 19th birthday alcohol still messing with my brain, but I really cannot comprehend how I got this far. There have been times where I have felt like giving up on life, and I can say now, in retrospect, that I am so happy that people had told me to continue to have courage and soldier on.

The past 19 years have truly been a blessing, and I am looking forward to all the years to come!

Here are some pictures from my 19th celebration with my family and friends:

Finally, thank you all for reading my blog! I know I just started this a year and a bit ago, but thank you all for reading and supporting me on it!

Until next time,

x R