Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Let's Talk... About Mental Illness

Today is an important day for me.

Over the past couple weeks, bus stops, billboards, newspapers and the Internet have sported the hashtag #BellLetsTalk, with notable personalities such as Olympian Clara Hughes, comedian and TV personality Howie Mandel and sports journalist Michael Landsberg accompanying this message. All of these personalities have dealt with their own battles with mental illness.

But what is this initiative, Let's Talk?

Currently in it's fifth year, Bell launched an initiative to end the stigma of mental illness among youth and adults, at school and in the workplace, and has to date committed $67.5 million to mental health initiatives in Canada. Through every llong distance call or text made on the Bell network, every tweet that has the hashtag #BellLetsTalk, and share of the image put on their Facebook, Bell will donate 5 cents towards these initiatives.

Last year, Bell raised nearly $5.5 million dollars for mental illness awareness.

So why does this matter? And why do I care?

And perhaps, why should you care?

Mental illness has increased in visibility over the years through news and media. And because of how media sensationalizes many things, along with our sometimes poor awareness and understanding, we are left to fear certain issues and things.

The definition of fear is "an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat".

If we "fear" mental illness, then I can see why.

Time and time again we hear about shootings of innocent lives because the person behind the gun was "mentally unstable" or suffered from Schizophrenia. We hear of bridges being closed off on both sides, creating traffic jams because emergency personnel are trying to coax a person who was about to commit suicide off of a bridge. With all this information being hurled at us left, right, and center, it really is no wonder that many of us fear mental illness and people with it.

I have mentioned in a previous post that I myself had my own battles and dealings with inner demons and wrestled with the self-acceptance of who I was and what I dealt with. I can firmly admit that as a young teenager, I did not understand the pain that I was feeling and the emotions that ripped through me. But one thing I did know was that I would not go and seek help from anyone.

Of course in retrospect, I shake my head at my 15 year old self. Help and support is the first thing that someone needs when you are bullied, when you are depressed or suicidal. Help should never be feared.

In retrospect as well, I can combine the knowledge of what I know with my previous actions. I myself had internalized within myself that if I needed to go seek help from a counselor, then therefore, I must have a mental health issue. I must be mentally ill.

I know now that this was all fear circulating within me. I could not afford to have people that I knew watch me walk into the counselor's office. I knew I would be outcast and labelled as "mentally ill". This fear is indeed an unpleasant emotion, and it built up what I knew and what I thought I knew about mental illness.

Growing up, I had instantly connected "mental illness" with autism, Down syndrome, dyslexia, and many others. Growing up and not having a full understanding of these issues, I was scared to hear people tell me to go see a counselor. I thought it confirmed that I did in fact suffer from mental illness, and having people tell me to go see a counselor validated that people saw something in me that I refused to see.

comics animated GIF
(from giphy.com)
                                 
But of course, going to counselling saved my life. And this is why I care about mental illness and the campaign that Bell has started.

As I read on Facebook this morning, "mental illness isn't as scary as we make it out to be", I firmly believe that this is true. If you Google "list of mental disorders/illnesses", the list has familiar names as well as names that have never been mentioned in media. But just because you suffer from anorexia, obsessive compulsive disorder, dyslexia, social anxiety, narcolepsy or depression, it does not dehumanize you. You are still you, and nothing less than you. You still possess the gift of yourself, something that is precious and necessary for the world.

Just like many other initiatives that raise awareness for various causes, I hope that Bell Let's Talk is even more successful than it has been in previous years and is not just a one day affair. Mental illness is a very prevalent issue among youth and adults in our society, and many times it goes unnoticed because we either do not fully comprehend it or are too afraid to start the conversation. But I want you all to know that mental illness, while it might sound terrifying and personal, needs to be brought to the forefront.

1 in 5 Canadians will experience will experience a mental health issue in their lifetime. Let's raise awareness and stand in solidarity against the stigma.



 I wish everyone a fantastic rest of the week and to never be afraid of showing the world who they are. Live high, live mighty, and keep spilling ink while you do.

x R

Tuesday, January 06, 2015

To Friend or Unfriend?

As I write this, I am still in my pajamas and yet feeling very accomplished at 10:30 in the morning. My hair looks bad and I am still coughing, but I feel so happy with what I was able to do.

Let me explain, my feeling of accomplishment extended way before I woke up this morning at 9.

I hit an epiphany while I was coughing my lungs out last night. And before you start to feel sorry for me, know that I have been dealing with it for nearly a month. It really is all my fault that I cannot shake this cough, but pray for me, because sleep is not coming easy and the spring semester starts today. I foresee a chance of sleepless nights, early mornings and papers on frustrating topics resulting in tears.

But I digress.

While I lay awake and coughing, I had a lot of time to think about how my first semester went in terms of work load, extra curricular activities, what I liked and disliked, and my relationships with God, family and friends.

I came to several conclusions:
- Statistics would never happen again, despite my overall B+ and the (grudgingly obvious) fact that it was quite useful in daily life.
- I had to choose one choir over the other, and I had to remind myself that just because I returned to serving one choir as opposed to two does not mean that I love God any less.
- Maybe I am not as literary as I thought I was, because I cannot close read to save my life.
- I need to make more time to spend with God and my family.

What left a big, gaping hole in my train(s) of thought last night was friends.

What makes a friend? Who are my friends?

Do I even have any friends?

friends animated GIF
(From giphy.com - OINTB)

My life began to play out before me like a cinema, adding to my insomnia. I made friends in elementary school, which eventually evolved into the friends I made in high school. Some were kept while others slowly faded into the background of life. Every experience came with new friends: summer camp, youth days, Quebec exchange, volunteering, and now university.

I see now that friendship, like any relationship, is a two way street. You do not have to be romantically intertwined with a person to ask how they are doing from time to time. And granted, everyone got busier once they left high school. We meet new people and are off chasing our dreams. We have to choose certain things over others, and sometimes that means sacrificing friendships.

To bring a little peace to myself, I can honestly say that yes, there are many people that I hold near and dear to my heart as friends. But I think that most of the time we go through life with our Facebook lenses on. The number of friends that we have on Facebook is just a deception, because I can almost guarantee that I do not talk to 80% of the ones that I have.

Which is sad.


friend animated GIF
(From giphy.com - New Girl)
             
Facebook brings a whole new definition of what a "friend" is. If you met for a day? Friend that person. You have one mutual friend? Friend that person. Your name came up in conversation a couple times, so I have to friend you. But how much do you know that person or talk to that person? Do you value that person, or are they just another icon on the list?

I am not saying that you should go through right now and delete all the friends you have not talked to in say, 3 months. But I think the point is clear that we are all so confused as to what a true friend really is.

I feel that this is really relevant, especially for many of my friends who are graduating this year. Know that you are not defined by the number of friends that you have on Facebook, or followers on Twitter or Instagram. A true friend will be there for you in the thick and thin, and will make the effort to travel on the two-way street. And if you find that things are not working out? That is okay too. In the end, remember that you cannot possibly be friends with everyone and please them all. Figuring that out gave me so much extra space to breathe, and helped me reach this conclusion.

"There are friends who destroy one another, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother." - Proverbs 18:24
I wish everyone the best in this new semester - go for the gold, good friends, and spilled ink!

x R 


PS - how did you like the GIFs?

Friday, January 02, 2015

Hello, 2015

It is incredibly strange to be writing this with the title as 2015. Where did 2014 go? It only seemed like yesterday that I was ringing in 2014 the way I usually do with my family. But one blink and 365 days have passed, with not one day wasted.

2014 was a good year.

So many trips, memories, friends made, achievements accomplished, and here we are with a new slate. Well, 2 days into a new slate.

I spent the remainder of the new year with my family in Las Vegas. While it is not the quietest place in the world, the crowds and the buzz of the city gave me energy to think and to keep going. I had the opportunity to see the Grand Canyon in Arizona. Climbing up a steep rock face to overlook everything was breathtaking, and it made me realize something really sobering:

Everyday, we get older. And every year, we get even older.

Now, I am not saying this to be cynical, to rain on your parade, or to point out the ever obvious truth because I just realized it, but because this truth that hangs above me is a constant reminder that life goes on, despite what went on that day, that month, or that year.

Life, fortunately or unfortunately, does not come with a remote that enables us to pause life when we screw up, rewind if we want to fix something or fast-forward suffering and adversity to better days. Life does not pause when we hit a rough patch and resume when the worst of it is over. Life continues to flow fluidly, day in and day out, with the good and the bad.

The Grand Canyon has undergone thousands of years of change to become what it is today, and even now it continues to change. We only have so many years to become who we are. We only have a select number of years to change with the experiences that we have had over the years to mold us into the person we ought to be.

Photo creds to my mom! Grand Canyon ponderings

Every year, people talk about new year's resolutions. We all make them and try to keep them. The reality is that sometimes, life gets in the way of keeping them. Temptation rises to prevent us from that goal of snacking once a day as opposed to three. New television series keep us glued to the TV instead of getting outside. Continued advancement of social media affects how we communicate with one another, and even with our loved ones.

This is why this year, I have no grand and sweeping resolutions that I cannot keep. I know for a fact that every year, I come up with something great (or, it sounds great) in January and by April, I have no idea what that resolution is.

Instead, this year I have a simple plan. The plan contains a single part, and that is what I need to do.

If a resolution means "a firm determination to do something", then here is what I firmly am determined to do:
- Practice piano every day for at least 45 minutes
- Exercise 3 times a week
- Pray every morning
- Spend less time on social media and more time studying or with friends/family
- Work every day to be a better person

All of these resolutions are set in place to help me achieve bigger plans, all of which I hope to accomplish within the course of this year. I challenge everyone to have SMART resolutions - Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time based.

Look within yourself and see what you need to change in order to become a better version of yourself. With this change comes great responsibility, but after this comes the satisfaction of getting better and better every day.

So, what are your new year's plans?

To end off, I saw something cool on Tumblr last night as I was unpacking. And yes, I can multitask:

(Source: http://these-times-shall-pass.tumblr.com/post/106767379035)


So this year, aim high and aim for great things. Settle for nothing less than your best, and never be content with mediocrity. You are worth more than that!

"For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared us in advance for us to do." - Ephesians 2:10
I wish everyone the happiest of new year's, despite this greeting being two days late. May your goals be achievable and your happiness great! Keep spilling ink while you do so!

x R