Ignorance Makes You Look Bad

Amidst all the rain we had lately, we experienced a gorgeous day today!

I honestly can't stand the rain. It's so wet and soggy and it just gets everywhere: your shoes, your clothes, your hair, your eyes.. it's so disgusting. I question those that say that rain has a romantic element to it.

But what I find even more disgusting are people that are rude, ignorant, quick to judge, and racist. I'm pretty sure I'm living in the 21st century, but the attitudes and ignorance that I have come across really makes me question our progressiveness and whether or not I am stuck a couple centuries back.

Here is another transit tale for you.

I have had the worst sleep schedule ever since school started. Added to this is my annoying back pain (which may have been worsened by my accident) that keeps me up at night. So in essence, I get really sleepy, and transit is probably one of the best places to sleep. Although I am just realizing now that it may be really unsafe to do so. But I digress.

When I got on at Scott Road, I sat next to a guy who looked to be in his mid 20s, so a few years older than me. I couldn't really tell what ethnicity he was because he was slumped against the window, sleeping. I shrugged it off and took my seat. With the slow rocking of the Skytrain I began to feel myself drifting off to sleep, which was much appreciated since I couldn't sleep the night before.

So I fell asleep.

I wasn't entirely unconscious. I was just asleep enough to feel like my batteries were recharging, but conscious enough to hear everything that was going on around me, including the looming voice that listed off every stop. I kept an ear open for my stop, because it had happened before where I had missed my stop due to my slumber.

About halfway into my journey I could hear shuffling feet come up behind me and beside me. In a language that I could somewhat pick apart, I heard a woman speak to someone else. Without opening my eyes I could already see what was probably happening in front of me: this woman was probably helping an elderly person into the seat in front of me. No big deal, so I shrugged it off again and continued on in my sleep

(Same. http://hilariousgifs.com)

But then came the interesting part.

The woman changed her language from what I realized then was Mandarin (which I can barely understand) to Cantonese (which I can understand pretty well). And what I heard (loosely translated) shocked me.

"Those ______________. So lazy. Doesn't even get up to let the elderly sit. Sleeping and being useless. So lazy."

I slowly opened my eyes to see who was speaking. There before me stood a Chinese woman and her daughter, and the elderly couple that was sitting in the seats in front of me. Next to me, I saw that the sleeping guy was now awake, and clearly seething.

At this point I should tell you that the blank refers to an ethnicity that the (ever so ignorant) Chinese woman used. I don't want to use it because hearing it made me feel super uncomfortable. But clearly, she had (sadly) mistaken me and the other guy for another ethnicity.

The guy looked at me and asked if I was the said ethnicity, and I asked him the same thing. It turned out that he was Chinese too, but he had been asked a number of times. It was a question, he said, that didn't faze him anymore.

He went on to tell me that his girlfriend was at home with his 3 year old son and infant daughter. He was working two jobs to make ends meet, and he was going to work a nighttime shift. He wouldn't be home again until Sunday afternoon. Sheepishly, I didn't any good reason to be passed out, but he laughed and said that at least I wasn't the one going around making ignorant comments.

As we approached Commercial-Broadway, he got up and walked over to the woman and said to her everything that he told me, in perfect Cantonese. He concluded by saying to her in English, "Don't judge a book by it's cover. Don't be so judgmental."

With a stunned look, she looked over at me. I got off at the next stop and didn't really have anything to say to her, so I just smiled.

(k bye!!! http://ladyclever.com/culture/marriage-equality-now-in-all-50-states-as-told-by-gifs/attachment/bye-bye-gif/)

                         

This entire situation made me cringe. As ignorant as she was, this doesn't even begin to count as a serious case of racism. But then again, should we even let it get to be so serious?

This woman made an offensive statement using a stereotype that she may have encountered or heard. It made it explicitly clear to me that she has a very narrow view of the world and is really set in her ways. But this kind of attitude is the type of attitude that can perpetuate into larger issues of hate and racism if ignored.

Every person's situation is unique and everyone is different. What may be the norm for certain groups in society may not always translate to every single member.

I can assure you that when I am awake, I am a good citizen in that when there is an elderly person on a full bus, I will give them my seat. But on an empty Skytrain? Those words weren't warranted. They are never warranted. I'm not using the empty Skytrain to justify the fact that I didn't get up, but regardless of situation, words like those that are hateful and directed against a certain ethnic group are just uncalled for. And for the record, some of these people happen to include some of the hardest workers that I know.

Yes, this is a society in which free speech is the epitome of your democracy and right. So let's be real here: you can totally say whatever the hell you want, and some people will just nod and smile. But at the end of the day, ignorance makes you look bad.

And that's all.

(I love Mindy Lahiri. http://www.collegehumor.com/post/6888857/15-gifs-that-drop-the-mic-and-are-out)

                   

Until next time,

x R

Silently Judging You (Coming Clean pt. 2)

Judgement: it's everywhere. And believe me, we are all doing it. You're even doing it right now while you're reading this.

According to clinical psychologist Linda Blair, on average it takes about seven seconds to judge a person after we meet them. This is even before a firm handshake. It is literally one glance, up and down, and you can make your own assumptions about the person.

Case to point - if you were to see someone dressed a little simpler with ripped and tattered clothing and an overall disheveled appearance on the Skytrain, you probably would be heading to another spot ASAP. 

I can't condemn other people for judging, because I know that I do it too. It's something that we don't think about because it just happens. Everyday we make little judgments that lead to poor assumptions and misconstrued beliefs. 

I bring up this point because it somewhat ties into my most recent post about coming clean. I came to realization that the judging that we do on a regular basis in turn makes us self-aware and self-conscious about what other people thing of us. How are other people judging me? What would they say or think if I wore this outfit, did my make up in a certain way, ate a certain amount of food or drank a certain beverage?

Coming clean, as I found, was a lot simpler in writing than in reality. Having my story out there enabled people to read what they wanted to, interpret it how they wanted to, and ask questions. Telling people was a whole other story.

To best explain, my plan was in two parts: one, to just get it out there for people to read at their leisure, but also to physically have conversations with people that I have known for a long time and who deserve to know. Not because I want sympathy of any kind (because I don't), but because I want my friends to know who I am. I want to be able to be truthful and explain the inconsistencies that they may have found in my life without any further lies or stories. I wanted them to know the truth, the whole truth, no matter how ugly it was.

By doing this, I was able to break down a judgement barrier for myself. I have gotten to a stage in life where, despite the occasional feelings of insecurity about my physical appearance, I feel good about myself, physically and emotionally. While the journey was not ideal or perfect it has taught me great things about myself. At this point, I know that my depression doesn't make me less of a person, less of a human, and less of a child of God.

Last night, I began my odyssey into coming clean, beginning with one of my closest friends. We met in kindergarten and have been friends ever since. This year will be going on 14 years of friendship, and yet we never had a evening just for us.

I always found it difficult to share my story with others, but I think it is especially difficult for friends that are so close to me. As I began to tell her the story, I prefaced it by saying that, "I didn't say anything earlier because I didn't want to lose you when I was already losing everyone else."

The story slowly tumbled out, and after my sharing was done, she told me that it gave her the courage to tell her own story, prefacing it also by saying that she didn't want to tell me because she didn't know how I would feel. She didn't know if I would judge her, and she didn't want me to be disappointed in her.

Why are we always so scared with letting our true colours show and letting people see who we really are? Our society tells us to make flawless first impressions with the people we meet. We are expected to come across as perfect in the eyes of strangers.

But the truth of the matter is, I AM NOT PERFECT. I have my moments, my flaws and my insecurities. This is true for all humans, and yet we still break each other down with judgement and negativity. 

My fear of judgement was the reason why I didn't get help sooner, and I truly feel that judgement is preventing others from speaking out and getting the help that they need.

I know I can't stop other people from judging, but I know that I can think twice before I make a generalized and uneducated comment about someone else. Everyone is facing a different and unique battle - one that we may not be able to comprehend or understand. Because of that, we need to be more sympathetic and aware of the situation of others.

And to you, all of you: remember how special and lovely you are. Be confident and take heart.

x R 

A Man, A Boy, and Paddy Cake

I met the most wonderful guy on the bus the other day.

This isn't a prospective cute guy for myself; after all, he was with his adorable two year old son.

This morning it was pretty gloomy. It was raining after a stretch of pure sunshine, and I didn't have an umbrella. I'm waiting for the bus at about 7:30, frustrated that I had missed an earlier bus and at the fact that I had no umbrella to shield me from the rain. Suddenly this man walked up, wearing a short sleeved shirt and shorts, pushing a stroller with a bouncing blonde boy sitting in it.

It was impossible, even in my bad mood, to ignore the smiling boy. What drew me in even more was the adoring look on his face, and the infectious smile that the boy had.

The dad was playing a video on his iPhone, and the familiar strains of "patty cake" began to play over and over. As the song began to play, the dad began to sing along, with his son attempting to catch up with him. On a gloomy day, this was a shot of sunshine in my life.

I began talking to this dad, asking him about where he was taking his son at such an hour. His son had more energy than any person on the bus at that time, and despite the dad's energetic and happy demeanor, there was a look of tiredness in his eyes.

Giving his phone to his son, the dad turned to me and said that he was dropping his son off at daycare before he went to Surrey Memorial Hospital. After asking if he was a doctor, he laughed and shook his head no.

He began to tell me about how he was a single father, taking care of this boy. In an ultrasound before the birth of his son, the doctors warned them that the boy may be born with serious birth defects, and were given the opportunity to abort. That was the make or break of our relationship, he told me. I wanted to keep him, but my fiancee wanted to abort. 

Shortly after the baby was born,  healthy and normal, she still broke up with him, leaving him to raise this baby boy on his own. 6 months later, he said, he was diagnosed with cancer. He had his ups and down with the treatment, and despite his remission after his son's first birthday, his cancer returned and spread violently. At the moment, he was going to Surrey Memorial for a chemotherapy treatment. I didn't want to pry and ask what his current situation was, but noting the look in my eyes, he quietly told me that he had Stage 4 terminal cancer. He had been given one and a half to two years to live. Despite all this, he would take his son every day to day care before he went for treatment or running household errands. He would get up every morning at 5, warm his son's bottle and food, pack his son's bag (with his son's favorite yellow sweater inside), wake his son up at 6 and got him ready to catch the bus at 7:16 AM. And on the bus every day, they would watch the same video and play paddy cake.

He did that every single day.

In my silence, I reflected on my shock. All I could think of was his son - barely two year old - and what could happen to him. I thought about the dad himself, how difficult this must be for him to raise his son and potentially not be there for his son anymore.

In those moments, words don't even begin to cover the feelings or sentiments that can convey your sympathy. His quiet words, after a beat, said it all: "Am I angry? Yeah. I won't be able to coach my son on the sidelines, teach him the alphabet, help him drive and get him a girlfriend. But that doesn't mean that my whole life stops because I'm angry... he needs me. And all I can do for him is give him all of me before I don't exist."

After he said this, his stop had arrived. Slowly getting up, he pushed his son's stroller towards the door, telling him to say goodbye to me. As they got off the bus, an overwhelming feeling of sadness came over me.

Life, as I have seen, is so unpredictable. Even the most mundane tasks and routine can be taken for granted. I began to realize how discontent I have become with my 6 AM radio wake up calls, 10 minutes spent in front of an open closet and the same breakfast foods. I have become resentful of the same dinners, the same pathways to the bus and the usual ways I waste my time.

This man taught me that even something so repetitive can be an experience. I could tell that he was afraid of what was to come, but at the same time, he showed no weakness. He cherished every day and every action with his son, every last one of them, no matter how small or annoying. 

If this man could be so joyful and cheerful in the face of disease and turmoil, then I, a person in good health and good life, should be even more joyful. Yet, this man has shown me that life is short and unpredictable. There is no time to be resentful, upset or angry at small things. After all, the more time we spend being angry or holding grudges, the less time we have to enjoy the beauty and company of people and things around us.

Enjoy your life, every last bit of it. I thank this gentleman for reminding me of an obvious and yet profound truth - thank you, thank you, thank you.

x R

We are the Generation with Our Heads Down

This post brings me so much joy because it celebrates the first poem that I have written in a very long time. I have been suffering from writers' block for nearly a month and a half now, and finally I was able to break this barrier and write something that I am actually proud of. At the same time, it gives me the opportunity to talk about something that is not as joyous, but nevertheless is something important to talk about!

I have to thank this lovely young couple, the tech couple, for this inspiration, as well as providing me with content for not just the poem but also my post today. More on these two later.

It is no secret that technology has become a major part of our lives in this time and age. From the time that the first personal computer and cellphone came out, people have been striving for better and faster gadgets, all of which can make our lives easier. The rise of this new technology bring about social media of all kinds and abilities.

We have become the generation with our heads down.

In the good old days of snail mail and face to face conversation, we were able to build up relationships through actually speaking to one another, forging friendships through finding things in common and physically being around others. Now, friendships and relationships have almost become disposable. We have hundreds of Facebook friends, but can we really claim that we are friends with all of them? We can use Tinder to find people that seem to have similar interests as us, but can we claim that it helps us start a meaningful relationship?

Returning back to the aforementioned tech couple, I encountered these two on the Skytrain a while back. They sat next to each other silently, holding hands. Their free hands were occupied with their phone, and the only sound coming from either of them came from their phones. They were like that from Columbia to Production Way, where I eventually got off.

It took me by surprise that this couple never looked up to look at each other. It made me kind of sad too, because it was not just these two that were doing it, but everyone. Including me.

Our generation will forever be remembered as the generation of selfies, endless Facebook friends, Twitter hashtags, Instagram filters, Snapchat stories and swiping right on Tinder. We have all become so boring and conceited to the point where we cannot talk properly or carry conversations without our phones sitting within a one inch radius away from us. And while social media and technology has helped many people to get powerful messages across and show resiliency and solidarity, it has also set us back as a society. We spend hours scrolling through endless posts, catching bits and pieces of other peoples' lives. We become consumed in other peoples' stories. We become anxious and compare ourselves against them. We judge and lose ourselves, and are forced to pretend to become someone we are not.

Now, we are living in a world where we take about 50 selfies before we post the perfect one, the camera eats first, and we take in the beauty of nature behind a screen. And I am guilty of all of these things.

I remember when I first realized that I was addicted to Facebook years ago. I was unsatisfied with myself and was constantly comparing myself to the other girls that I had seen on Facebook. I was not skinny enough or wearing the right clothes, my hair was not dyed and I did not have cool gadgets to show off. I could have been perfectly happy and celebrated who I was, but instead I chose to be hung up over things that I did not have. The emptiness was later filled by acceptance and weaning myself off of social media for a bit.

Of course, this is not to say that I can live without social media. I have to admit that I am an avid user of many kinds, but I suppose that the bottom line is that we need to be careful of what social media can do to us. We need to be content with ourselves and live our lives out happily.

I thank technology each and every day for bringing us to where we are today as a society. However, I really hope that we can all try our best to live, to really live, and be comfortable in our own skin.We may be the generation with our heads down, but that does not have to define us. After all, we are the generation that will need to take charge of the world sooner or later, and we need to show the world that there is more to us than statuses and tweets.

We are a great generation with so much to offer and so much to do.

Hope everyone is enjoying the lovely weather! I am off school and have been since late April, so my summer has already started! But whether or not you are a getting ready for finals, just starting summer semester or are basking in the sunshine, remember to really live and not through a screen!

Your fellow Twitterer, Instagrammer and blogger,

x R

Expectation vs. Reality & End of First Year!

1 year ago today!

I think that it is an understatement to say that university is a completely new playing field than that of high school. The differences that I have come across over the past eight months between what was and what is are staggering, and yet somehow, I managed to get through it.

It was over the past eight months when I learned new things about myself, made new friends and, quite possibly, grew and matured. I know it might be quite a long shot to say that over a period of a year, I have somehow matured. I also know that people will be rolling their eyes at this point. However, I say this because I am now happy with where I am. I am content with who I am and I am more comfortable living the life that I am living.

This is not to say that before I was dissatisfied with my life. Growing up, I had all these great expectations about who I was going to be during high school, and after high school, I would move on to university (Harvard/Yale/Princeton/Stanford/Brown) and go do something amazing (pursue a law career or something) and eventually change the world (become the next [insert amazing figure here]).  I had high expectations, which many would tell me are good, but I feel like the expectations were not feasible or made because I wanted to pursue them. I realize now that these expectations that I had were because I wanted to have that opportunity to make my parents proud.

I also had high expectations on my physical appearance (skinnier, approx 110 pounds. No acne, toned arms and legs, and amazing eyebrows), the friends I kept, my future boyfriend to be fiancé to be husband, when I would graduate, have a job, get married and have children, and to have a picture perfect life overall.

That was the expectation, and this is the reality. I am not studying at any of the previously mentioned schools nor do I have the slightest interest in pursuing law. I am still working on the change the world part. I may not be the weight or physical traits that I wanted, but I accept what I do have - a healthy body. I have accepted that friends come and go, but true friends will be there for me despite time and distance. The boyfriend part is non-existent but I am content with meeting new people and growing with them instead of being infatuated and obsessed with them. I have come to the conclusion that I may not graduate in 4 years and may need to work extra hard to have a job after graduation. I have also resigned to the fact that getting married at 23 and having children at 24 may not happen anymore, but that is okay. The reality that I live in may have readjusted the expectations that I set up for myself, and that really is okay. Especially since I am turning 19 in three days. Getting married at 23 suddenly seems really soon.

Over the past 8 months I have learned to grow through my life instead of just growing up (which, by the way, is not looking very good. I have been 5'2" for (nearly) ever). There is much more to life than all the petty problems I had found myself in during my time in high school. In retrospect, everything is quite small. And in time to come, the problems I find myself in now will also become quite small.

High school me was an utter confusion, despite the world around me thinking that I had everything under control. As much as I would tell myself that I had a level head growing up, the reality is that sometimes I got lost. I had no idea where I was going and what I wanted, and I think that this led to fall outs with friends, unfulfilled expectations and meaningless romantic relationships and infatuations.

I look at myself now and I can still clearly picture what I was doing a year ago. I keep telling myself that if 5 years of high school can go by quickly, than university will be more or less the same speed. This time in university has, in many ways, forced me to mature and catch up. I learned very quickly that I am actually an ambivert. I met new friends that helped to build me up, renew my faith and also kept in touch with old friends that I do not have the luxury of seeing everyday. I found also that it is time to let go of pointless grudges that I have had and move on, because I do not have the time or energy to continue doing so. All these lessons and new relationships have come with time and patience., and I know that the future will bring many more life lessons, many more mentors and many more good friends.

But until then, I am finished first year and getting ready to move on to bigger and better things.

Your fellow ambivert and ink spiller,

x R

P.S. - here's to all the life giving friendships over the past 8 months!

Hello, 2015

It is incredibly strange to be writing this with the title as 2015. Where did 2014 go? It only seemed like yesterday that I was ringing in 2014 the way I usually do with my family. But one blink and 365 days have passed, with not one day wasted.

2014 was a good year.

So many trips, memories, friends made, achievements accomplished, and here we are with a new slate. Well, 2 days into a new slate.

I spent the remainder of the new year with my family in Las Vegas. While it is not the quietest place in the world, the crowds and the buzz of the city gave me energy to think and to keep going. I had the opportunity to see the Grand Canyon in Arizona. Climbing up a steep rock face to overlook everything was breathtaking, and it made me realize something really sobering:

Everyday, we get older. And every year, we get even older.

Now, I am not saying this to be cynical, to rain on your parade, or to point out the ever obvious truth because I just realized it, but because this truth that hangs above me is a constant reminder that life goes on, despite what went on that day, that month, or that year.

Life, fortunately or unfortunately, does not come with a remote that enables us to pause life when we screw up, rewind if we want to fix something or fast-forward suffering and adversity to better days. Life does not pause when we hit a rough patch and resume when the worst of it is over. Life continues to flow fluidly, day in and day out, with the good and the bad.

The Grand Canyon has undergone thousands of years of change to become what it is today, and even now it continues to change. We only have so many years to become who we are. We only have a select number of years to change with the experiences that we have had over the years to mold us into the person we ought to be.

Photo creds to my mom! Grand Canyon ponderings

Every year, people talk about new year's resolutions. We all make them and try to keep them. The reality is that sometimes, life gets in the way of keeping them. Temptation rises to prevent us from that goal of snacking once a day as opposed to three. New television series keep us glued to the TV instead of getting outside. Continued advancement of social media affects how we communicate with one another, and even with our loved ones.

This is why this year, I have no grand and sweeping resolutions that I cannot keep. I know for a fact that every year, I come up with something great (or, it sounds great) in January and by April, I have no idea what that resolution is.

Instead, this year I have a simple plan. The plan contains a single part, and that is what I need to do.

If a resolution means "a firm determination to do something", then here is what I firmly am determined to do:
- Practice piano every day for at least 45 minutes
- Exercise 3 times a week
- Pray every morning
- Spend less time on social media and more time studying or with friends/family
- Work every day to be a better person

All of these resolutions are set in place to help me achieve bigger plans, all of which I hope to accomplish within the course of this year. I challenge everyone to have SMART resolutions - Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time based.

Look within yourself and see what you need to change in order to become a better version of yourself. With this change comes great responsibility, but after this comes the satisfaction of getting better and better every day.

So, what are your new year's plans?

To end off, I saw something cool on Tumblr last night as I was unpacking. And yes, I can multitask:

(Source: http://these-times-shall-pass.tumblr.com/post/106767379035)

So this year, aim high and aim for great things. Settle for nothing less than your best, and never be content with mediocrity. You are worth more than that!

"For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared us in advance for us to do." - Ephesians 2:10

I wish everyone the happiest of new year's, despite this greeting being two days late. May your goals be achievable and your happiness great! Keep spilling ink while you do so!

x R 

"Your Manliness Turns Me Off"

A journey on Transit taught me so much.

I met a friend for lunch yesterday and then proceeded to run some errands and take a Transit journey to answer the question, "Can you get off the Millenium Line at Commercial-Broadway and walk over a bridge to get to the Expo Line? Because I see a little bridge thing on the map?..."

The answer is yes, by the way.

But taking this extra journey from Burnaby Mountain out to Commercial-Broadway gave me an opportunity to encounter three young men, also coming down from SFU.

I am going to leave it here by saying that they were each of different race and that I was not quite sure how old they were. After I got on the bus, these three young men walked on after me, really loud and obnoxiously and made their way over to the section I was sitting in. Sitting a couple rows away from me, they proceeded to talk about girls. Seemed normal enough, but their discussion was so loud that I could not help but tuning in, even with headphones in.

-"That girl at Saywell Hall was so skinny, but her rack was incredible."

-"Yeah, but did you see her thighs? Gross."

-"What do you care? You wouldn't have any guts to tell her to her face that her rack was incredible."

At this point I should mention that 1) I was furiously taking notes on my phone and 2) I was furiously seething at the fact that these guys had such a tasteless conversation all the way down the to the Skytrain. And just when I thought that I could escape from them, they followed the flurry of people onto the Skytrain, and got onto the same one that I did.

They got in the same car as me, and close to the door there was a girl, about my age or so, who was extremely beautiful. She was also very blessed in ways that would make other girls envious, and this caught the attention of the boys that sat across from her on the other side of the door, in front of me. Throughout their conversation of lewd comments and more objectification, two of them spent the better part of 10 minutes trying to get the other guy to go up to her and chat her up.

-"Talk about her eyes or rack or something. Yeah, her rack. Just do it, for us."

Whether he actually liked her or not, he finally went up at one stop and sat next to her. Since all three of them had not learned volume control since the bus down from SFU, it was evident that everyone sitting around them could hear him, and became uncomfortable.

-"Hey girl. You have pretty eyes and a smokin' rack. What's you're name and where are you going?"

The girl was clearly disgusted, but kept her composure. She turned to him and said, "I heard everything you were saying with your friends over there. Your manliness turns me off." She then got off and walked out of the train, leaving the other guy there. I watched as she walked to a Transit security guard, watching to see if any of the guys had gotten up and followed her.

This stunned the guy, stunned the two others, and made me want to give that girl a standing ovation.

The point I bring with this is not to condemn guys that talk about girls, because I know for a fact that girls seem to be a very popular topic among males. What I am saying is that sometimes, what guys think are "manly" may not really be so "manly" after all; in fact, it might undermine you as opposed to bringing you up.

Seeing all this unfold in front of me reminded me of a video that a classmate shared on Facebook. Youtube star Sam Pepper made a video of a prank that he played on girls and women, which involved him using a fake third hand in a "ass-pinch" prank. This disgusted me beyond belief - how could he find it enjoyable to make girls feel uncomfortable? While the three guys were in their own little world, they did enter the bus making cat calls at a girl in a dress that was walking by .

(Source: http://twitter.com/tyleroakley)

Take it from a girl when I say that looks are not everything - personality matters too. I can tell you for a fact that those three guys were good looking and well dressed. But the moment they opened their mouths, I was also turned off. Their pretty faces did not save them. And perhaps, I do not matter in their lives, but what if the one comes along and they continue to talk about such things? I can only imagine.

Now, I know that girls are just as guilty as the boys are. We are pros at playing games, gossiping and sometimes being super catty with each other. We objectify guys as well and play up our appearances in hopes to draw guys in.

This girl, who was turned off by the three young men's idea of manliness, stunned the guys for the time being. I can only hope that they will realize that some of the discussion that they had (which, for obvious reasons, I could not share here), is inappropriate.

(Source: http://r-ideout.tumblr.com)

As the new year approaches, I challenge everyone to be a better version of themselves.

Ladies, remember that you are more than the numbers on the scale, the curves on your body and the size of jeans that you wear. You are beautiful, and true beauty comes from what you say and do. Strive for relationships that build you up, instead of tearing you down. Hold out for those that are ready to respect you for all of you.

Gentlemen, remember that you do not need to do much to impress girls. Girls look for guys that make them feel special always, and for guys that will respect them and care for them. Bragging about your "exploits" is a very Illiadic and therefore, a thing of the past. Being respectful goes a long way, and I am sure that it will bring you much more happiness in return.

A new year is coming, everyone. Make it count!

So respect everyone, be the best person you can be, and spill more ink while you do.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

x R