Ah, young love. I love it, I hate it, and admittedly I find myself to be jealous of those who are successful with "young love".
I just came to terms with the inner battle of my own "young love" that maybe, I am still too young to understand what love is. All the same, I wonder sometimes how girls that are younger than I am have the strength to carry out long lasting relationships. Is it because maybe they know something more about love than I do? Are they just naive and evasive of potential problems? Or maybe.. they have found their soul mate at the ever young age of 12 years old?
How do you find true love at 12 years old?
It's weird being the oldest and seeing my younger sisters interact with boys. I'm going to be really frank, we all talk about a lot of different things. What we never talk about is our love life (read: my love life. Or possibly Eleanor's.) You may be marveling at this title that I have chosen for this post. Clearly, my sisters (and myself, for that matter) are a long ways off from finding a soul mate and husband to spend the rest of our lives with. I'm not sure how I will react to seeing them holding hands with (gasp) a boy, but here's a letter of affection to whoever may choose to pursue either one of my lovely sisters:
To the Future Boys That May Become Future Brothers-in-Laws,
First off, seeing my sister texting you, holding hands with you and going places with you makes me cringe just a bit - not because I dislike you, but because I'm trying to figure out where all the time went, and if this is actually reality. As strange as this sensation is to me, I'm trying my best to come to terms with the fact that she is growing up and I was once like her.
So take care of her - tell her that she is special and beautiful. Take her out on dates - plan them and surprise her. Let her take charge and surprise you. Be spontaneous and discover new things and new places together. Make memories with her.
Don't hide things from her - honesty and trust are two major pillars in a relationship. If you can't be upfront with her, ask yourself why. Are you afraid that she will judge you? Are you hiding something that you aren't proud of? Do you think that you can just 'sweep it under the rug' because it doesn't matter? If you are hiding something, then maybe it does. Be honest - the less you hide, the easier if is for her to confide in you.
Communicate with her - tell her how you are feeling about certain things. There is no need to lie about how you feel - a true lady and gentleman respects their love's feelings.If you can't see her in person, text or call her. Let her know that you are alive (please) and that you are still thinking about her.
Respect her - remember that a relationship is a two way street. If you both respect each other's wishes and feelings, the relationship will go a long way. No means no, and if you can't understand that, then you best be moving on until you do.
Respect her family - This is key, my friend. As her family, we aren't going to bite you or hurt you. We just want what is best for our sister. My parents want someone that will respect them and take care of her. So talk to us, get to know us and spend time with us - if you really want to marry my sister, the reality is, you'll be marrying us too.
Understand her - understand who she is, what she loves to do and where she has come from. Try to read between the lines of the story of her life and help her to heal the wounds of the past and build memories for the future.
Most importantly, LOVE her and PRAY her - if you really love my sister, please do all of these things. Pray for her - her dreams, her hopes and her struggles. Pray for her family. Pray for her well being and that she will be able to follow in God's path of righteousness. With God on your side, your relationship will flourish. Take pride in knowing that "If God is for you, who can be against you?" (Romans 8:31).
So love her unconditionally and make God the focus of your relationship. With all these things, I hope to call you my brother-in-law....many years down the road, of course!
Rachel
^^ And I think all of this is my hurt speaking, but hey, at least now I know what I need to look for in a potential husband.
So live out and love mightily, keep God as your focus and of course, spill ink while you do.
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
My [Real] Grad Write Up
Remember that puny space that we had to sum up our high school experiences?
HA.
It was honestly such a struggle to pour all my memories into 100 words, and I promised myself that I would do a more concise and better job. Now that the year is actually over (and I'm not writing my grad write up halfway through senior year!), I thought I would take this opportunity to write my "real" grad write up.
~~~~
It is with great fondness that I write this. How five years has passed so quickly, I cannot even begin to comprehend. I still have the horrid image of my first entrance into the gym on my very first day of high school. Pushing past the teal doors (which by the way, after five years in being in this school, why are the lockers and doors TEAL? Why not RED?), I came face to face with a massive crowd of people called Holy Cross Crusaders, both old and new. My kilt was just at my knee at that point and I tugged on my basically non-existent short hair in nervousness. I suddenly wanted my old life back where my class was thirty students and not five times the size of that. I wanted to go back to the days where my class ran the school, an we were taller than everyone else.
But here I was, at the bottom of the chain and beginning this new journey called high school.
As time went on, I began to foster incredible relationships with people from all different backgrounds and life stories. I was fortunate to have met these people who have walked into my life and left their hand prints on my heart over the years. I was able to work with some of the coolest teachers around and learned beyond what can be taught in text books. Together, these people made my high school experience what it was and for that I am truly blessed and honoured to have shared it with them all.
The memories that I have made within the confines of the school, as well as outside, are great in number and will always be treasured. From band trips to field trips, from classroom antics to memories with best friends, where do I even begin to recount them? I will always remember all my music trips - Edmonton, New Orleans, Banff and Hawaii - for being trips where I have really geeked out musically and was able to share the experience with other fantastic musicians. The trip to the Philippines as part of the Mission Team this year was another amazing experience. Seeing another part of the world and being able to help the people that lived there was such a blessing. I will never forget the smiles on these peoples' faces and how thankful they were - something that I must grow to learn and understand. Field trips like March for Life, the writing field trip, the aquarium... the list is endless and the memories go above and beyond these. It always brings smiles back to my face whenever I look on old pictures of past trips. And of course, the never ending inside jokes and antics that occur in the classroom are endless and I laugh every time I think of a certain class or people or even things that people say. It is something that you don't get in elementary school, this dynamic, and it's also something that I don't think I will experience in the future, so I'm going to miss it.
Of course, this is not to say that there wasn't any sort of struggle in my high school life. There were many low points, and one of the biggest was losing both of my grandparents during high school. There were fights and arguments and obviously a lot of drama, but who can blame teenagers for drama? It's bound to happen, and I can say with confidence that I didn't have to deal with as much, so for that I am grateful. Struggles that happen in life form character and help people get stronger. My biggest mountain to climb during my high school journey was my battle with depression. It comes as a major shock to people that this was indeed a major part of my life, but people act in different ways and never want to look weak. This has never been truer for me, and because of that, I think that is where my problem lay. I was always so consumed in trying to be the stronger person, never letting my weakness and pain show. Because of hiding and waiting for so long to seek help, I was consumed in my own pain and violence, leading to a whole other host of issues. I am happy to say that as of now, I'm nearly if not fully recovered. I get that strength is not hiding but finding help, and I am so thankful for the people that have been my support system on my worst days. You guys rock. Never be afraid to find help for anything.
The best part about high school was definitely the people, as mentioned above. I would like to give many, many shout outs:
- Firstly, big, big thank you to my girls, my limo crew. At a time when I had nowhere else to go, my girls took me in and included me, never judging and always believing in me. I love you all - Abby, Erica, Jessica, Sarah, Emily M, Megan, Mia, and Alessandra.
- To all my locker neighbours (and I remember all of you!) - Austin, Kielle, Nick TV, Aldrin and Reiner - Thank you for putting up with my constant antics and my never shutting up, my locker problems and all the times when I was being a melodramatic Asian chick. I am so blessed to have had you guys as locker buddies!
- To the boys crew, JT, John P, Philip S, John A, Martin - you guys make me laugh so much. I have never shed so many tears from laughter and it's because I have had the honour to have known you. Thanks for always being there for me, ready to listen and beat people up for me and overall, being protective of me. Y'all are my brothers and I love you all immensely.
- My homie and fellow Chinese buddy, Eugene! Dude, thank God we were in math class together. As if you needed it, but thank God or else I wouldn't have passed Pre Calc 11 the way I did. We had so many memories together. Thanks for always being there to help me with anything and everything, sharing all your wisdom and all the youtube videos in the world. SFU, here we come!
- My girl, Emily Junk - thank you for being the best band buddy in the world! I don't know how you were able to put up with sitting next to me for 4 years, but at least you don't have to any more! And of course, the band trips (um, New Orleans? Bubba Gump? BITTANTE?!) and French class (SALUT-LA!). I'm going to miss seeing you every day. Who can I fangirl with at SFU? ooh, and btw Australia 2016, we're going to make it happen! Love you girly <3
- Band class - I just love you guys. There really are no words to sum up my love for everyone that is in that class. <3 <3 <3 #dad #cabscalves Also, to my music leadership family - Clarence, Regi, Gianne, Kyle, Pamela.. you guys rock. I am so blessed to have had the opportunity to work with you all. Wings round two one day :)
Shout out to my other favourite roomie Chelsea for all the good times, the weird talks, ab work outs and fangirling. Much love to the boys that I have gotten to know through band - Bouvier, Zach, Sam and Sam, Mark and Vaanyi. I'm going to miss you guys <3
- To the girls that I would like to affectionately call the pretty amazing ladies - Genie, Marinelle, Samantha P, Jenny, Jaia and Alanna - I'm glad that we all got so close this year. I'm going to miss seeing all of you on a daily basis. Genie and Marinelle, we go back super far (ERM, and Marinelle, I think I remember who my 'affaired' love is..). Alanna, Socials 8, enough said (thanks for contending with my endless emotions over the carrot top). Jenny, UGH GRAD COMMITTEE. Thanks for being my comrade there and just your neverending support and hard work. Samantha, why did we take French 12 again? Homeroom buddies and of course, now we've conquered what we thought was the impossible. Jaia, your beautiful singing voice I'm going to miss the most! Partying in Tang's car and talking with you during the retreat. Keep in touch, all you! :) I'm going to miss you guys!
- My spirit animal Kielle - what would I do without you? Even though we both still argue about how and when we met (although I'm almost guaranteed its grade 9 because of our lockers), you never fail to amaze me with how strong you are. Thank you for always being there for me to give me a pep talk and to listen to me rant and bash or fangirl and just be over the top with useless love. I will never forget you and I'm going to miss seeing you every day. You are such a beautiful person and I love you. Let's hang out this summer? :)
- To my partner in crime, Kenneth - that fateful day, the day we never stop talking about, has made us best friends for life. I am so thankful to have known you. All the time we spent talking, all the Starbucks consumed and all the endless laughs have been a blast. Throwback especially to the mission trip when we would stay out on that staircase and just talk philosophically. Life won't be the same without you, and of course I wish you all the best in your future. Don't stay a stranger - maybe one day I will rely on you when I make that trip out to Dubai! :)
- All the grade 11s - you are literally my favourite grade. I'm going to miss you guys :(
Special mention to Cielo, all the memories in choir and lunch time, and of course the OLGC days..
Elaine, you amazing girl. Don't burn yourself out too much, kay? The foodie adventures will continue, not to worry!
The lunchtime crew - Kevin and Sophia - thank you for sharing your humble abode with me and taking me in because literally, I have no friends LOL
Donovan and Vikaram, you two are the best and are so freaking huge. Ihop for days! We will hang out and I will come back to visit. I love you two.
Rebecca - my locker neighbour! I'm going to miss you! Thanks for putting up with me for so long, and of course, choir...
- James and Jyle - you both have a weird relationship. James, I hope you get that girlfriend that you have always wanted. Jyle, get some rest. You're always tired. I'm going to miss both of you.
- Jayson - YOUR POEM THOUGH. I guess this would be an appropriate time to say that I always thought you were cute WHAT lol
Ashley - I miss our morning talks, and I'm going to miss them even more now that we're going to be in separate places. Stay classy and sassy :)
Myka - Thanks for all the memories in the Philippines! I would say hit me up if you ever need help in French, but I guess you're kinda done with it! Have fun in Africa!
Talia- THE COOKIES
Laura - Dictator Laura! Run that music program with sass!
Sarah Chan - my other chinese friend - we will street race. and then go for dim sum. LOL
- Diego, as I have written, in your yearbook, thank you for everything: all the laughs and good times. Thanks for grade 9. I still remember us and everything that we have been through and I loved every minute of it. Stay in touch and thank you for being such an amazing friend to me<3
- Last but definitely not least, Mateo: Where do I begin? I think I have said everything that I needed to on that virgin page of yours, so I'll make this brief - thank you for the past 13 years. From me being taller than you to you (sigh) being taller than me, we have shared so many good times throughout the years. I can't thank you enough for your support and your always being there for me, even when I was being stupid and irritable. You never ceased to support me and through it all, I am so grateful. Thank you also for 6 beautiful months, for the Philippines, for grad and everything in between. I love you. BCIT isn't that far... expect to see me in the future :) <3
- To my grad class, I wouldn't want to graduate with anyone else. Stay true and hope to see you all again in 10 years or less!
- All those that I have met over the years - older than me, younger than me, thanks for leaving your imprint on my heart and being my friend.
Here's to grad 14 - may your futures be bright, your journeys amazing and your time on this earth fruitful. I can't wait to see what the future holds for all of us. Until next time, take care, God bless, and never stop spilling that ink .
xiv for life baby! Thanks for everything!
HA.
It was honestly such a struggle to pour all my memories into 100 words, and I promised myself that I would do a more concise and better job. Now that the year is actually over (and I'm not writing my grad write up halfway through senior year!), I thought I would take this opportunity to write my "real" grad write up.
~~~~
It is with great fondness that I write this. How five years has passed so quickly, I cannot even begin to comprehend. I still have the horrid image of my first entrance into the gym on my very first day of high school. Pushing past the teal doors (which by the way, after five years in being in this school, why are the lockers and doors TEAL? Why not RED?), I came face to face with a massive crowd of people called Holy Cross Crusaders, both old and new. My kilt was just at my knee at that point and I tugged on my basically non-existent short hair in nervousness. I suddenly wanted my old life back where my class was thirty students and not five times the size of that. I wanted to go back to the days where my class ran the school, an we were taller than everyone else.
But here I was, at the bottom of the chain and beginning this new journey called high school.
As time went on, I began to foster incredible relationships with people from all different backgrounds and life stories. I was fortunate to have met these people who have walked into my life and left their hand prints on my heart over the years. I was able to work with some of the coolest teachers around and learned beyond what can be taught in text books. Together, these people made my high school experience what it was and for that I am truly blessed and honoured to have shared it with them all.
The memories that I have made within the confines of the school, as well as outside, are great in number and will always be treasured. From band trips to field trips, from classroom antics to memories with best friends, where do I even begin to recount them? I will always remember all my music trips - Edmonton, New Orleans, Banff and Hawaii - for being trips where I have really geeked out musically and was able to share the experience with other fantastic musicians. The trip to the Philippines as part of the Mission Team this year was another amazing experience. Seeing another part of the world and being able to help the people that lived there was such a blessing. I will never forget the smiles on these peoples' faces and how thankful they were - something that I must grow to learn and understand. Field trips like March for Life, the writing field trip, the aquarium... the list is endless and the memories go above and beyond these. It always brings smiles back to my face whenever I look on old pictures of past trips. And of course, the never ending inside jokes and antics that occur in the classroom are endless and I laugh every time I think of a certain class or people or even things that people say. It is something that you don't get in elementary school, this dynamic, and it's also something that I don't think I will experience in the future, so I'm going to miss it.
Of course, this is not to say that there wasn't any sort of struggle in my high school life. There were many low points, and one of the biggest was losing both of my grandparents during high school. There were fights and arguments and obviously a lot of drama, but who can blame teenagers for drama? It's bound to happen, and I can say with confidence that I didn't have to deal with as much, so for that I am grateful. Struggles that happen in life form character and help people get stronger. My biggest mountain to climb during my high school journey was my battle with depression. It comes as a major shock to people that this was indeed a major part of my life, but people act in different ways and never want to look weak. This has never been truer for me, and because of that, I think that is where my problem lay. I was always so consumed in trying to be the stronger person, never letting my weakness and pain show. Because of hiding and waiting for so long to seek help, I was consumed in my own pain and violence, leading to a whole other host of issues. I am happy to say that as of now, I'm nearly if not fully recovered. I get that strength is not hiding but finding help, and I am so thankful for the people that have been my support system on my worst days. You guys rock. Never be afraid to find help for anything.
The best part about high school was definitely the people, as mentioned above. I would like to give many, many shout outs:
- Firstly, big, big thank you to my girls, my limo crew. At a time when I had nowhere else to go, my girls took me in and included me, never judging and always believing in me. I love you all - Abby, Erica, Jessica, Sarah, Emily M, Megan, Mia, and Alessandra.
- To all my locker neighbours (and I remember all of you!) - Austin, Kielle, Nick TV, Aldrin and Reiner - Thank you for putting up with my constant antics and my never shutting up, my locker problems and all the times when I was being a melodramatic Asian chick. I am so blessed to have had you guys as locker buddies!
- To the boys crew, JT, John P, Philip S, John A, Martin - you guys make me laugh so much. I have never shed so many tears from laughter and it's because I have had the honour to have known you. Thanks for always being there for me, ready to listen and beat people up for me and overall, being protective of me. Y'all are my brothers and I love you all immensely.
- My homie and fellow Chinese buddy, Eugene! Dude, thank God we were in math class together. As if you needed it, but thank God or else I wouldn't have passed Pre Calc 11 the way I did. We had so many memories together. Thanks for always being there to help me with anything and everything, sharing all your wisdom and all the youtube videos in the world. SFU, here we come!
- My girl, Emily Junk - thank you for being the best band buddy in the world! I don't know how you were able to put up with sitting next to me for 4 years, but at least you don't have to any more! And of course, the band trips (um, New Orleans? Bubba Gump? BITTANTE?!) and French class (SALUT-LA!). I'm going to miss seeing you every day. Who can I fangirl with at SFU? ooh, and btw Australia 2016, we're going to make it happen! Love you girly <3
- Band class - I just love you guys. There really are no words to sum up my love for everyone that is in that class. <3 <3 <3 #dad #cabscalves Also, to my music leadership family - Clarence, Regi, Gianne, Kyle, Pamela.. you guys rock. I am so blessed to have had the opportunity to work with you all. Wings round two one day :)
Shout out to my other favourite roomie Chelsea for all the good times, the weird talks, ab work outs and fangirling. Much love to the boys that I have gotten to know through band - Bouvier, Zach, Sam and Sam, Mark and Vaanyi. I'm going to miss you guys <3
- To the girls that I would like to affectionately call the pretty amazing ladies - Genie, Marinelle, Samantha P, Jenny, Jaia and Alanna - I'm glad that we all got so close this year. I'm going to miss seeing all of you on a daily basis. Genie and Marinelle, we go back super far (ERM, and Marinelle, I think I remember who my 'affaired' love is..). Alanna, Socials 8, enough said (thanks for contending with my endless emotions over the carrot top). Jenny, UGH GRAD COMMITTEE. Thanks for being my comrade there and just your neverending support and hard work. Samantha, why did we take French 12 again? Homeroom buddies and of course, now we've conquered what we thought was the impossible. Jaia, your beautiful singing voice I'm going to miss the most! Partying in Tang's car and talking with you during the retreat. Keep in touch, all you! :) I'm going to miss you guys!
- My spirit animal Kielle - what would I do without you? Even though we both still argue about how and when we met (although I'm almost guaranteed its grade 9 because of our lockers), you never fail to amaze me with how strong you are. Thank you for always being there for me to give me a pep talk and to listen to me rant and bash or fangirl and just be over the top with useless love. I will never forget you and I'm going to miss seeing you every day. You are such a beautiful person and I love you. Let's hang out this summer? :)
- To my partner in crime, Kenneth - that fateful day, the day we never stop talking about, has made us best friends for life. I am so thankful to have known you. All the time we spent talking, all the Starbucks consumed and all the endless laughs have been a blast. Throwback especially to the mission trip when we would stay out on that staircase and just talk philosophically. Life won't be the same without you, and of course I wish you all the best in your future. Don't stay a stranger - maybe one day I will rely on you when I make that trip out to Dubai! :)
- All the grade 11s - you are literally my favourite grade. I'm going to miss you guys :(
Special mention to Cielo, all the memories in choir and lunch time, and of course the OLGC days..
Elaine, you amazing girl. Don't burn yourself out too much, kay? The foodie adventures will continue, not to worry!
The lunchtime crew - Kevin and Sophia - thank you for sharing your humble abode with me and taking me in because literally, I have no friends LOL
Donovan and Vikaram, you two are the best and are so freaking huge. Ihop for days! We will hang out and I will come back to visit. I love you two.
Rebecca - my locker neighbour! I'm going to miss you! Thanks for putting up with me for so long, and of course, choir...
- James and Jyle - you both have a weird relationship. James, I hope you get that girlfriend that you have always wanted. Jyle, get some rest. You're always tired. I'm going to miss both of you.
- Jayson - YOUR POEM THOUGH. I guess this would be an appropriate time to say that I always thought you were cute WHAT lol
Ashley - I miss our morning talks, and I'm going to miss them even more now that we're going to be in separate places. Stay classy and sassy :)
Myka - Thanks for all the memories in the Philippines! I would say hit me up if you ever need help in French, but I guess you're kinda done with it! Have fun in Africa!
Talia- THE COOKIES
Laura - Dictator Laura! Run that music program with sass!
Sarah Chan - my other chinese friend - we will street race. and then go for dim sum. LOL
- Diego, as I have written, in your yearbook, thank you for everything: all the laughs and good times. Thanks for grade 9. I still remember us and everything that we have been through and I loved every minute of it. Stay in touch and thank you for being such an amazing friend to me<3
- Last but definitely not least, Mateo: Where do I begin? I think I have said everything that I needed to on that virgin page of yours, so I'll make this brief - thank you for the past 13 years. From me being taller than you to you (sigh) being taller than me, we have shared so many good times throughout the years. I can't thank you enough for your support and your always being there for me, even when I was being stupid and irritable. You never ceased to support me and through it all, I am so grateful. Thank you also for 6 beautiful months, for the Philippines, for grad and everything in between. I love you. BCIT isn't that far... expect to see me in the future :) <3
- To my grad class, I wouldn't want to graduate with anyone else. Stay true and hope to see you all again in 10 years or less!
- All those that I have met over the years - older than me, younger than me, thanks for leaving your imprint on my heart and being my friend.
Here's to grad 14 - may your futures be bright, your journeys amazing and your time on this earth fruitful. I can't wait to see what the future holds for all of us. Until next time, take care, God bless, and never stop spilling that ink .
xiv for life baby! Thanks for everything!
Monday, June 02, 2014
Here's to Grad 14
There is so much joy in my heart, coming from the depths of my soul and exploding before me in waves of pure euphoria.
Despite the trials, the tribulations, the suffering and pain, God has given me the power to divide, conquer and pull through, and here we are, after grad, and I have never felt happier.
I am so proud of my fellow graduates - those I have known for years, those I have just gotten to know in the past few months. Those that I talk to on the daily, those I used to spend time with and those that I pass with a smile in the halls. We are filled to the brim with so much potential, with our blessings growing exponentially, and there is so much in store for us.
Now we are in the home stretch, ready to close off a chapter of my life that had once seemed impossible to comprehend and complete. But here we are, at the face of a new adventure. Here's to a life full of love and joy and exhilaration.
#gradxiv
Be good, be kind, and spill more ink. Only 20 days left! :)
Despite the trials, the tribulations, the suffering and pain, God has given me the power to divide, conquer and pull through, and here we are, after grad, and I have never felt happier.
I am so proud of my fellow graduates - those I have known for years, those I have just gotten to know in the past few months. Those that I talk to on the daily, those I used to spend time with and those that I pass with a smile in the halls. We are filled to the brim with so much potential, with our blessings growing exponentially, and there is so much in store for us.
Now we are in the home stretch, ready to close off a chapter of my life that had once seemed impossible to comprehend and complete. But here we are, at the face of a new adventure. Here's to a life full of love and joy and exhilaration.
#gradxiv
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