Change Needs More Than Slacktivism

Bell Let's Talk Day. Since 2010, the campaign has committed more than $100 million to mental health initiatives across Canada. In the past 6 years, initiatives such as this and Mental Health Awareness week has definitely helped to make gains in the fight against stigma. We are more educated and more aware than ever before.

But despite the gains that we have made, let's not pat ourselves on the back just yet.

Last year on this day, I discussed how an initiative such as Let's Talk Day .very important to me. Social media is a great thing in that, when used positively, it can helped to spread awareness at the touch of a finger. The better part is the fact that with every tweet or call made on the Bell network on this day, 5 cents will be donated to various mental health initiatives. This makes it easy for anyone to get behind an incredible cost with minimal cost to themselves.

At the same time, something like this makes it easy for anyone to get behind the same cost with minimal effort.

Enter: slactivism.

(Oh no, Ryan Gosling doesn't like slacktivism. From Giphy.) 

                                   
20 years ago, before social media even existed and the Internet was a figment of our imaginations, activism took the form of sit ins, rallies, lobbying, petitioning and protests. There were people that were devoted to a cause - women's rights, environmentalism, ending youth violence - and these people made it part of their life to fight for these causes.

The advent of hashtags and sharing articles on Facebook, it has become incredibly easy to learn about something, become temporarily moved or enraged, and then move on. In the sea of social media, it is sometimes difficult to differentiate between those that actually care and those that are just jumping onto the bandwagon. Hashtags like #BlackLivesMatter during the wake of police brutalities and shootings against African Americans in the United States and #JeSuisCharlie after the horrific shootings at the Charlie Hebdo offices in France brought major world incidents to life in an instantaneous fashion. Suddenly the entire world was able to connect and humanity was able to mourn together.

But simply hashtagging a cause 'just because' doesn't really do anything substantial. Even in a case like Bell Let's Talk, I know for a fact that my Twitter timeline will be flooded with #BellLetsTalk - I myself will be tweeting any chance I get. I'm not saying that what we are doing is wrong, but we need to remember that all of these causes extend just beyond the day itself. Activism and awareness should not just be a one day thing, it should be everyday.

A similar example comes with Pink Shirt Day and the quest to eliminate bullying from schools and workplaces. The students behind Pink Shirt Day were inspired to create this initiative in response to bullying that they saw against a male student who was wearing a pink shirt. Since its beginnings in 2007, Pink Shirt Day has been supported every year to raise awareness.

(Source)

The idea is a great one, and the cause is one that is so important, especially since bullying is such a prevalent issue in our schools and workplaces. But wearing a pink shirt for a day isn't going to solve anything in the long run, and neither is tweeting the hell out of a hashtag. Because if people fall back into their old ways after all the fanfare is over, then we are back to square one with nothing achieved. And unfortunately, this kind of behaviour happens more often than we'd like to think.

I'm not saying that we should boycott these initiatives. Obviously initiatives need to start somewhere, and this is how we get the discussions going.  We need to bring this dialogue into our homes, classrooms, and office spaces. It isn't enough to have an anti-bullying day - we need to have anti-bullying everyday.

"Activism and awareness should not just be a one day thing, it should be everyday."

We need to teach our students that every child has worth and value, regardless of ethnicity, religion, gender or socioeconomic status. We need to teach empathy and acceptance of their classmates, and themselves. We need to educate our students on the important issues of the day and about the world in which they live in - a world where violence and indifference does exist. We need to inspire these students that this violence and indifference doesn't have to exist if we take a stand together. That these students could be a generation where real change can happen.

But if we just resort to our little universes and strive after #squadgoals and just tweet things just to show other people that we actually care about current affairs, then our society will just plateau and go nowhere.

This year's Bell Let's Talk Day is on Wednesday, January 27. Definitely take part in the cause, because it's a great one. But also remember what the purpose is, what the discussions are surrounding the cause, and consider doing some research or engaging in open dialogue with others on the topic if you find passion in it. And it doesn't have to be mental health or bullying - whatever you care about and find passion in, I encourage you to learn more about it, see the different sides of the argument and see what you can do to help advance the cause.

Change needs more than slacktivism. Real change comes when we all come together and engage.

Let's change the world!

x R

Updates for God

Everything came together all at once.

This weekend I had the opportunity to spend time with close friends, meet new people and relax after midterms. But while I enjoyed the time that I spent with people, my mind was elsewhere: I was thinking of the best way to take a super awesome shot for my Instagram.

I say that this all comes together at once because this revelation that I had about my absenteeism in social situations came into my mind last night in a near tragic situation. Without going into too much detail, I nearly got into a car accident that had all the components of being fatal - but thankfully God was on my side and I walked away unharmed, just shaken.

On Facebook today, I read a Buzzfeed article about Essena O'Neil, an Australian Internet celebrity who recently quit many of her social media platforms after spending years building a huge Internet presence and empire. The reason why she quit was an admirable one: she saw that she was becoming consumed by this idea that she had to post "perfection" and "goal-worthy" pictures in order to be liked.

So how does this all relate?

In that split second where you have no control over the situations at hand and have no idea how it will all end, all the countless selfies, "candid" shots, #OOTD posts, aesthetic food shots... it means nothing at the end of the day.

(Stefan from SNL!! - from giphy.com)

Many people probably know that I have a large social media presence, from Facebook to Twitter, from Tumblr to this blog, from Instagram to contributing to other blogs and beyond. Lately everything that I post, especially when it comes to Instagram, has become very staged. And I too am beginning to realize, like Essena, that I am being consumed by this inner struggle of staging perfection to everyone else.

I am uploading more and more of my life to the outside world and not truly savouring the moment. I spend so much stressing out over getting the perfect shot that I forget to enjoy the company of those around me. But most of all, I am spending more time updating my life to others than I am to God.

God doesn't care about my tweets or my status updates or Instagram pics. He knows everything that I will do before I even do it, so He doesn't need any social media updates of any kind. But what He does want is to foster a deeper relationship with me - and you!

Lately, filters have taken priority over contemplation and prayer. I spend time finding the perfect picture to post, but what about spending time finding the perfect way to live in His image? While God doesn't need updates throughout the day, He does appreciate the time that we spend in silence and time spent talking to Him about our troubles, our worries, but our joys and sources of happiness as well. And these are the worthwhile "updates" that He wants to hear!

(Betty White is awesome. from giphy.com)

After the moment of impact yesterday, I realized all too abruptly that our life can be taken away from us without warning. While I probably won't be quitting all social media anytime soon, I know that I will spend even more time taking care of myself and updating God even more than I update my social media. You will still probably see more food shots for my food blog, selfies from time to time and very meticulous and thought out posts, but I know now that my focus should not be on trying to seem perfect.

On that note, never feel like your life is not interesting enough. Everyone's life is unique and wonderful, and we need to take advantage of the opportunities that we have and engage in the world around us. Because if we don't, our life will pass us by without warning.

Until next time,

x R

Bieber and His Philosophical Song

I never thought that a Justin Bieber song would get me thinking so deeply. Well played, Bieber.

If you haven't heard already, Bieber's latest song "What Do You Mean" literally calls out every single indecisive person, which is almost everyone at some point.

Though I am not a Bieber fan, I must admit that the song is not only catchy and infectious but it also draws an interesting point. What does he mean with this song? I can imagine him saying this to his current girl du jour, who is probably an indecisive person as well. 

As humans we have this amazing power to manipulate our words to the point where there is a massive disconnect between what we say and how we say it, or how we portray it. I am only starting to realize how eerily close this sounds to my mom, but I suppose there is a lot of validity to it.

The truth is, it's not just a girl thing or just a guy thing. We are all indecisive and manipulative creatures. We don't really know what we want or what we mean. When I first heard this song, I got really defensive and offended against his lyrics: "What do you mean / when you nod your head yes, but you're telling me no". I kept telling myself that I don't do that. To quote James 5:12, "Let your 'yes' be 'yes' and your 'no', 'no'". Such simple words really shouldn't be manipulated, but the more I thought about it, I began to crumple at the fact that my 'yes' wasn't truly a 'yes'.

I spent a lot of time in immature relationships where I was incredibly immature and indecisive. I craved the attention and the "love" that a boyfriend could offer me, but I also wanted space and independence. At the beginning of relationships, when everything is so young and new, all I wanted to do was to spend every waking moment with my boyfriend. As the relationship progressed I began to feel choked and craved space. But when I felt my importance in his life begin to fade, I would start to act out and start pulling these one liners that Bieber is complaining about in his song: "You want me to stay, but you're telling me to go." Looking back on my experiences now, I was pretty much a nightmare. I wanted these boys to be mine, but I wanted them to make sure that they knew that I had a life. At the same time, they couldn't have a life. And if I couldn't have them, no one could.

I SHAKE MY HEAD at my young and naive thinking. And unfortunately, this phenomenon of opposite meaning is growing and growing.

(giphy.com)

                                 

The growing use of social media and communication through screens has perpetuated bit of a problem on our hands, literally. It is so difficult to detect sarcasm or "true meanings" when you are texting, and yet so many people still choose to communicate mostly through text. I am totally guilty of this, and I don't think that my habits will ever change. But at the same time, I value the realness that face to face conversation brings us.

I began my studies in communications this year at school, and I have to say that it is quite fascinating to learn about how we communicate. The reason that oral culture, or speaking face to face, is regarded as "more real" is purely out of the fact that we can learn so much more from what the other person is saying. When you see the person, you can really hear their intonation: the way their voice goes up or down, added emphasis on certain words or phrases. You can also watch their body language, which tells us so much more than the words they say. You can see their facial expression change as the words are said and more words are heard. Obviously none of this is really possible when you are texting. You can't here the inflection in their voice or see their fists clench up or eyes draw downwards. We are constantly left guessing and interpreting texts. What do they mean? Are they joking, or are they actually serious?

This is why there is such a great need for oral culture to exist. Can you imagine if wedding vows were done via text message? The thought of it sounds absurd - but yet, it seems so possible. Certain institutions, like that of marriage, still remain as something that requires face to face communication to show emotion and sincerity. The same goes with apologies, or breaking up with someone. I guess that's why I get so upset when people apologize over a text message, or break up with someone via a Facebook message. Where is the sincerity? You just typed two words and sent them into the universe. It is so easy, almost too easy, to escape from your responsibility. I'm not saying that we shame people when they apologize in person. Apologizing in person and breaking up in person is something very, very difficult to do - I've been there both times. At the same time, I have been apologized to and broken up with over text messages, and they both hurt immensely. There is no closure or realness to it. When you do these things over text, even something as simple as "I'm sorry" or "it's over" can be left to interpretation - especially when your emotions are running high and your mind is running at a million miles a minute.

(giphy.com)

All of these seems so simple, and yet we constantly see fights happening over miscommunication and misunderstandings. We need to make sure that we know exactly what we mean before we say (or post.. or text) anything. In a world where our minds are so hyperactive and is constantly being bombarded with information, we have become almost "philosophical" in a way that constantly over think everything. 

It's going to be difficult for me to dial back my over thinking mind and relying less on text conversations, but I hope that we all wake up and find a happy medium, somehow.

So thank you Justin Bieber, for spurring these thoughts inside of me. Keep having face to face conversations - they were the original way to socialize!

PS - I promise to have a Rachel Reacts up soon!! Thanks for bearing with me!

Until next time,

x R

We are the Generation with Our Heads Down

This post brings me so much joy because it celebrates the first poem that I have written in a very long time. I have been suffering from writers' block for nearly a month and a half now, and finally I was able to break this barrier and write something that I am actually proud of. At the same time, it gives me the opportunity to talk about something that is not as joyous, but nevertheless is something important to talk about!

I have to thank this lovely young couple, the tech couple, for this inspiration, as well as providing me with content for not just the poem but also my post today. More on these two later.

It is no secret that technology has become a major part of our lives in this time and age. From the time that the first personal computer and cellphone came out, people have been striving for better and faster gadgets, all of which can make our lives easier. The rise of this new technology bring about social media of all kinds and abilities.

We have become the generation with our heads down.

In the good old days of snail mail and face to face conversation, we were able to build up relationships through actually speaking to one another, forging friendships through finding things in common and physically being around others. Now, friendships and relationships have almost become disposable. We have hundreds of Facebook friends, but can we really claim that we are friends with all of them? We can use Tinder to find people that seem to have similar interests as us, but can we claim that it helps us start a meaningful relationship?

Returning back to the aforementioned tech couple, I encountered these two on the Skytrain a while back. They sat next to each other silently, holding hands. Their free hands were occupied with their phone, and the only sound coming from either of them came from their phones. They were like that from Columbia to Production Way, where I eventually got off.

It took me by surprise that this couple never looked up to look at each other. It made me kind of sad too, because it was not just these two that were doing it, but everyone. Including me.

Our generation will forever be remembered as the generation of selfies, endless Facebook friends, Twitter hashtags, Instagram filters, Snapchat stories and swiping right on Tinder. We have all become so boring and conceited to the point where we cannot talk properly or carry conversations without our phones sitting within a one inch radius away from us. And while social media and technology has helped many people to get powerful messages across and show resiliency and solidarity, it has also set us back as a society. We spend hours scrolling through endless posts, catching bits and pieces of other peoples' lives. We become consumed in other peoples' stories. We become anxious and compare ourselves against them. We judge and lose ourselves, and are forced to pretend to become someone we are not.

Now, we are living in a world where we take about 50 selfies before we post the perfect one, the camera eats first, and we take in the beauty of nature behind a screen. And I am guilty of all of these things.

I remember when I first realized that I was addicted to Facebook years ago. I was unsatisfied with myself and was constantly comparing myself to the other girls that I had seen on Facebook. I was not skinny enough or wearing the right clothes, my hair was not dyed and I did not have cool gadgets to show off. I could have been perfectly happy and celebrated who I was, but instead I chose to be hung up over things that I did not have. The emptiness was later filled by acceptance and weaning myself off of social media for a bit.

Of course, this is not to say that I can live without social media. I have to admit that I am an avid user of many kinds, but I suppose that the bottom line is that we need to be careful of what social media can do to us. We need to be content with ourselves and live our lives out happily.

I thank technology each and every day for bringing us to where we are today as a society. However, I really hope that we can all try our best to live, to really live, and be comfortable in our own skin.We may be the generation with our heads down, but that does not have to define us. After all, we are the generation that will need to take charge of the world sooner or later, and we need to show the world that there is more to us than statuses and tweets.

We are a great generation with so much to offer and so much to do.

Hope everyone is enjoying the lovely weather! I am off school and have been since late April, so my summer has already started! But whether or not you are a getting ready for finals, just starting summer semester or are basking in the sunshine, remember to really live and not through a screen!

Your fellow Twitterer, Instagrammer and blogger,

x R

Dear (Younger) Me,

So I know I am slightly behind (2009 called, they want their idea back), but in my defense, YouTube was doing this too. They are behind, and I am behind them. So everyone is behind.

About a month ago YouTube had this explosion of Dear Me videos. I vowed that I would get around to doing something like a letter or a video, but unfortunately life got in the way. But now I am here, and I have a letter to myself. I was going to do a video but then I realized that I am not as technologically advanced as I think. The Dear Me campaign consisted of letters written by people who are now adults, looking back on their 16 year old selves and imparting on them the knowledge that they have now.

I realize that I am only 18 (going on 19, finally) and that 16 was only a mere 2 years ago. I may not have gotten that much older but I feel like I have grown wiser in some respects. Or, at least that is what I would like to claim.

But here we go.

Dear (younger) me,

Spoiler alert: Life goes down. It goes down. But then, it goes way up. Life, as I have finally figured out, works that way. There are ups and downs, nasty turns but marvelous views. There are a million and one ways to get to a certain destination, and even though you didn't see it at the time, the scenic route was definitely more rewarding than the straightforward route that is ten times faster.

The thing is, you learn so much growing up. Friends come and go, and sometimes even the bestest friends in the world have to fall apart. You don't have to do everything your friends do. It's alright that you don't feel comfortable partying or having loud nights out. You are still you, and you are still unique and important.

All the people that pushed you around at one time or another, another spoiler alert: they don't mean anything. In the future, you will find yourself talking and even reconciling with people that you never thought you would. You will push aside the brick walls that had separated you from them. There are some fights that are worth fighting, and some that you just have to let go of. You will have fights with people that, in the grand scheme of things, aren't there for you at the end of the day. So why are you upset? Why are you hurting over people that don't care for you? Move on! The people that truly do care about you are there: you have to let them in and push out the things and ones that don't matter.

And as for boys, you will meet many. I think this is the hardest part to write about to you, my dear. You know as much as I do that you fall hard for guys: the tall ones, the dark haired ones, the cute ones, the sweet talking ones. But you are so young! Why so serious? Why tie yourself down so quickly? The boys that you thought you were in love with, it's not serious. I'll say it to you again: you will move on! You will meet other guys! It's extremely difficult to move on from someone who you thought loved you, but you will. I know you will, because look where we are now. Focus on finding who you are, and what you want out of  someone, and find that one person that will respect you for being you, and not what your body can or cannot do.

Finally, guess who still hasn't figured their life out? You haven't, or I haven't. Both of us haven't. You probably aren't stressing about this part of life yet. But let your mind roam and your heart desire. There are so many opportunities in the world. Don't let others tie you down into believing that you have to go into a certain career for you to succeed. Because either way, you will. Never think that you are not good enough for this person or that position. Believe in yourself and others will believe in you.

The world has so much to offer you - all you have to do is stand up and go after what they have. Do your best always, never give up and always give 150% in everything you do. Because when you do, great things will happen.

I believe in you and I love you.

Love always,

Me

x R