New Year, Same Me

(Happy New Year, from Ross Geller. From giphy.com)

Happy new year to everyone! It's so strange to write 2016 at the beginning of my journal entries every time I write in my journal. The stranger thing is how quickly 2015 has gone by and how things have changed. 2015, like any other year, has been a year with ups and downs, successes and hardships. But all in all, it was a great year like the many before it.

With each new year comes the sentiments of opening a new book, turning over a fresh leaf and starting with a blank canvas litter our social media and conversations. New Year's resolutions have become almost obligatory, from trying to lose weight to eating healthier to even swearing less when you're behind the wheel. I remember in elementary school when the first writing activity of the year would be to write about our New Year's resolutions.

Over the years, my priorities and goals changed. I would always rely on the safe but standard "be a better kid" and the questionable "get smarter". As I grew up and self image began to plummet, I would tell myself that I wanted to lose 10 pounds by this date, eat healthier, work out more and clear up my skin. But time and time again I would lose track and frankly give up. The white flag would go up around February/March, and by my birthday (in April) I would be hating myself for being lazy and scolding myself for biting off more than I could chew.

I have become submissive to this fact, not to say that I am weak, lazy, or lack motivation. But there is a kernel of truth my scoldings. Telling myself to lose 10 pounds is ideal, and I could definitely stand to work out more so as to help myself lead a healthier lifestyle. Getting smarter is great too, but behind this "smartness" is the necessities of hard work, effective time management and motivation.

But beyond this, my goal every year was to be a better person than I was the year before. This year, I wanted to take a different approach to this.

I look back on the year that has passed and I think back on what my weaknesses and shortcomings were. There were definitely scenarios that I could have handled better, words I shouldn't have said, and fights that I shouldn't have picked. All of these incidents have become learning pages in an ongoing book, a story of my life. And while I had this resolution last year to be a better person, people fail. As humans, we all fail, and that's life.

But when the new year comes, we can't rip out the bad pages, throw them out in hopes of forgetting the past and pretend like they didn't exist. We need to learn from them and build on them. We can't be complacent, especially in this goal to being a better person. So this means that each year shouldn't be viewed as a blank canvas or empty book. Your canvas is still filled with marvelous colours and your book is a story in progress. 

(Etch a sketch. from gifmania.co.uk)

Life isn't an Etch a Sketch, where we shake away our sketches because we aren't satisfied and start over from scratch. The past is the past, and there is nothing that we can do to change it. But what we can change is how we look at the future. That, and learning from our past mistakes, can propel us into better things.

Take your resolutions with your past in mind, and don't beat yourself up if you don't make it. That being said, also make sure that your resolutions are attainable. 

Finally, have a great year. It's called "Happy New Year" for a reason: be happy that you've made it to see a new year. Learn from your mistakes and move forward bravely and boldly.

You can do it.

With love,

x R

                                  

Hello, 2015

It is incredibly strange to be writing this with the title as 2015. Where did 2014 go? It only seemed like yesterday that I was ringing in 2014 the way I usually do with my family. But one blink and 365 days have passed, with not one day wasted.

2014 was a good year.

So many trips, memories, friends made, achievements accomplished, and here we are with a new slate. Well, 2 days into a new slate.

I spent the remainder of the new year with my family in Las Vegas. While it is not the quietest place in the world, the crowds and the buzz of the city gave me energy to think and to keep going. I had the opportunity to see the Grand Canyon in Arizona. Climbing up a steep rock face to overlook everything was breathtaking, and it made me realize something really sobering:

Everyday, we get older. And every year, we get even older.

Now, I am not saying this to be cynical, to rain on your parade, or to point out the ever obvious truth because I just realized it, but because this truth that hangs above me is a constant reminder that life goes on, despite what went on that day, that month, or that year.

Life, fortunately or unfortunately, does not come with a remote that enables us to pause life when we screw up, rewind if we want to fix something or fast-forward suffering and adversity to better days. Life does not pause when we hit a rough patch and resume when the worst of it is over. Life continues to flow fluidly, day in and day out, with the good and the bad.

The Grand Canyon has undergone thousands of years of change to become what it is today, and even now it continues to change. We only have so many years to become who we are. We only have a select number of years to change with the experiences that we have had over the years to mold us into the person we ought to be.

Photo creds to my mom! Grand Canyon ponderings

Every year, people talk about new year's resolutions. We all make them and try to keep them. The reality is that sometimes, life gets in the way of keeping them. Temptation rises to prevent us from that goal of snacking once a day as opposed to three. New television series keep us glued to the TV instead of getting outside. Continued advancement of social media affects how we communicate with one another, and even with our loved ones.

This is why this year, I have no grand and sweeping resolutions that I cannot keep. I know for a fact that every year, I come up with something great (or, it sounds great) in January and by April, I have no idea what that resolution is.

Instead, this year I have a simple plan. The plan contains a single part, and that is what I need to do.

If a resolution means "a firm determination to do something", then here is what I firmly am determined to do:
- Practice piano every day for at least 45 minutes
- Exercise 3 times a week
- Pray every morning
- Spend less time on social media and more time studying or with friends/family
- Work every day to be a better person

All of these resolutions are set in place to help me achieve bigger plans, all of which I hope to accomplish within the course of this year. I challenge everyone to have SMART resolutions - Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time based.

Look within yourself and see what you need to change in order to become a better version of yourself. With this change comes great responsibility, but after this comes the satisfaction of getting better and better every day.

So, what are your new year's plans?

To end off, I saw something cool on Tumblr last night as I was unpacking. And yes, I can multitask:

(Source: http://these-times-shall-pass.tumblr.com/post/106767379035)

So this year, aim high and aim for great things. Settle for nothing less than your best, and never be content with mediocrity. You are worth more than that!

"For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared us in advance for us to do." - Ephesians 2:10

I wish everyone the happiest of new year's, despite this greeting being two days late. May your goals be achievable and your happiness great! Keep spilling ink while you do so!

x R 

Filled with Joy

It has all come and gone - first university semester is officially over. The interesting thing is, it feels so final, despite the fact that this will be my constant reality for pretty much the next four years.

But it feels so good to accomplish something that used to seem so far and unattainable. I never had any doubt that this day would come, I just did not expect it to come so soon. And that I would survive it, by even more than the skin of my teeth.

I feel so comfortable where I am. After hours of days of studying in advance, my four finals have passed. My right arm feels sore, and for whatever reason I have this perpetual voice inside my head telling me that I need to study. But for the next two weeks, I am free to do whatever I want.

I think the biggest change between then and now (aside from the change of pace) is that now I am so much happier than where I was. Granted, it does not make me any happier to write really long papers or study for hours and hours on a subject that is impossible to study for (e.g. world literature), but I know that in the end, I did my best. I put in the effort, I went to class everyday and I came out of this semester learning new things, and even finding a bit of direction as to what I want to do with my life after university is done.

This happiness, I think, came from acceptance. At the beginning of the semester I was so scared of the change, even though I knew that a) it was inevitable and b) I thought I was excited and ready for it. But September came, and even though I tried to feel confident in my ability, the reality was I had so much to learn. I wanted to resort to my old ways of studying the night before, Wikipedia-ing all my information and hanging out with my old friends. But being pushed into something new - a new normal - has proven to be altogether terrifying but a blessing nevertheless. I have accepted the change, accepted that things are different now and that the expectations I had with myself before had to be altered. To understand that there is more to school than just work, that high school relationships do not last forever, and that life fulfilling relationships are the way to go. This happiness and acceptance comes after I have decided to let somethings go and fight for other things that I thought were worthwhile in my life.

Today in mass we talked about joy and what it meant to be joyful. When the right things are top on your priority, everything else will fall into place.

And I guess that is all I need.

Here are some pictures that I took over the course of finals mania:

I wish everyone fantastic grades, a Merry Christmas and a happy new year! Enjoy the break and spill more ink while you do!

x R