Rachel Reacts: Body Shaming (And Other Things)

Hey everyone, sorry for the hiatus! School is now back in session and it's been really weird, getting back into the flow of going to school and studying after I had been off for over 4 months. While I know that my time will be taken up by school, music, work and other activities, I wanted to make sure that I continually write, whether it be contributing to various blogs, writing poetry and of course, writing here! I also wanted to make it a habit of keeping up with current events and what is going on around me, which is why I am starting this new "section" or "tag" entitled "Rachel Reacts". This is basically me continually writing while keeping up with what is happening around me, even if that means keeping up with the Kardashians (but I promise I won't bore you with that stuff!)

I aim to be doing this every other week as consistently and humanly possible. Each time I will go over 5 things that I have read, watched, or stumbled across. For the most part, it is really  opinions on current events, popular culture and life in general, but I will try and throw some fun in there as well.

Without further ado, I present to you the first installment of Rachel Reacts to...

1/ ... Body Shaming

(from giphy.com)

 My initial thought to this? It sucks. The whole concept sucks and should cease to exist. We unfortunately live in a society where our looks dictate the kind of success that we will attain in life. Why should our size matter? Why should our skin colour matter? Why do people care how I dress, what size jeans I wear, or whether or not my eyebrows are on point? Are we as humans really this shallow? I bring this up because I, like many, have watched Canadian comedian Nicole Arbour's video "Dear Fat People". In it, she explicitly calls out fat people for being the way that they are, and that they are bigger in size because of laziness. It was extremely uncomfortable to watch, but I guess in some ways it was like a car accident, you can't stop watching it. And the worst part? When confronted about the video, she calls YouTube out on "censoring" her and plays it off like the entire thing is a satire. Hate is not the same thing as satire, my dear. We can't judge people based on physical appearance. Whether you are fat, skinny, tall or short, love yourself. Your confidence is your most beautiful asset, and you are so, so loved.

Note: the video has explicit language. 


2/  ... Election 42

(forums.canadiancontent.net)

I am a 19 year old Canadian citizen. I am allowed to vote in the upcoming federal election. But this three way race between Harper, Trudeau and Mulcair (and let's not forget Green Party Leader Elizabeth May) has left me more confused than ever. Admittedly, I have no idea who to vote for. My understanding on the issues is, in a word, limited. I have conflicting thoughts and voices in my head with flying words like "deficit" and "taxes" and "free tuition" (wait, free tuition?) and "he's just not ready." I'll tell you who else is not ready: me. I guess we'll see where this goes and who I'll be voting for next month.

3/ ... The Ongoing SFU vs. UBC Competition

(forum.canucks.com)

I am proud to be an SFU student. I also have many reasons as to why I chose to go to SFU to pursue my post secondary education over other post secondary institutions like UBC. But I really can't wrap my head around the ever present misconception that UBC is better than SFU. I have high respect for people that go there and for people that have graduated from UBC - it is a great school, no doubt, ranking at number 40 on the 2015 Academic Ranking of World Universities . In terms of strictly Canadian universities, UBC comes in at second place just after the University of Toronto. SFU comes in at number 10. But at the end of the day, do these rankings and numbers really matter? I think that we should all focus on what is ahead of us - that is, work hard at your degree, regardless of where you are studying. In the end, all the doctors have goals to help the same patients. The engineers will be working on our city structures. The journalists will be reporting on the same issues. Work hard and succeed; don't let rankings and expectations bog you down. As long as you do your best, you will find your niche, succeed and get your degree.

4/ ... "I'm Fine"

(giphy.com)

Are you? Are you really? The simple phrase of "I'm fine" has become a cultural phenomenon that literally has begun to mean the opposite of what it is. It is probably the most common little white lie that people use, sometimes subconsciously, on a daily basis. I know that as a girl, I am totally guilty of saying that even though I am not. I guess in some respects, we say "I'm fine" because we are seeking attention. We want people to pry into our lives and figure out what is wrong, all while keeping ourselves guarded and not letting anyone else in. I realize now the frustrations that this can bring about. I am currently dealing with someone who used that against me last week - saying that they are fine and all - but it is so obvious that they aren't. The one thing that my two classes of communications has taught me that our non-verbal communication is so much greater than our verbal, making the phrase "I'm fine" total BS if we can't portray that in our body language. I get it though, sometimes we just don't want to talk. But I hope my friend knows that I'm available to talk and offer support. And if I offended him, that I'm sorry. And if he is having a bad day, then I hope that things get better.

5/ ... Pumpkin Spice Lattes

(giphy.com)

YES. It's Pumpkin Spice Latte season!! And I have no shame in admitting that I love them. I guess it's because I love cinnamon and allspice and all those lovely fall spices. My love for pumpkin pie actually came from this drink, no joke. You can get it hot or in frappe form... and the best part? You can even get it iced! Now, do yourself a favour and get yourself one...and click the link on the title!

That's all from me! I'll try my hardest to make this a bi-weekly thing and continue to write, but until then, I'll be enjoying Pumpkin Spice Lattes.

Love yourself and be kind!

x R

I am a Music Educator, Not a Magician.

This has been weighing on my mind for quite some time, and I would like to share this with all of you.

First, let me preface this by saying that I am beyond grateful for my 12+ years of becoming a musician and falling in love with music. I am grateful for the sacrifice that my parents have made to put me and my sisters through piano lessons and always telling ups to do our best. I am grateful for the many music mentors and teachers that I have had over the years that have given me their patience and shared their love of music with me. I am also grateful for the opportunity that I have had to be a music educator myself, sharing my love and knowledge of music with a younger generation.

For the past four years I have been tutoring and teaching piano lessons privately and through my old piano studio (which is another blessing). All of the kids that I have had the privilege of teaching have been, without a doubt, blessings in my life. Yes, it would be dishonest of me to say that every child is a cakewalk and that every situation is an easy one. But the reality is, sometimes teaching can get difficult, whether it is a musical skill, instrument, or even something not music-related such as sports, languages or concepts.

As am music educator, I want to make it clear what my role is.

I am just what the job description says. I am a music educator, and not a magician. My job as an educator is to bring music into your life, give you tips and pointers on how to improve and go the extra mile and to motivate you to do the best that you can and be the best that you can be. I want students to put in the hard work and see the results that way, instead of just giving them the "easy" way out and cheap praise.

However, this is easier said than done. People want to see quick and immediate results. They do not want to wait 5 or 10 years before they see results. This is not a realistic of feasible goal. You cannot expect to go from music-less to Mozart over night. It would be unrealistic of me to push this goal onto my students. My job is not to give students a magic pill so that they can become a virtuoso musician. That has to be earned and worked at.

As it happens, students are often frustrated with their slow progress. A discussion I had with a parent had brought a lot of doubt into my mind, hence this post and a heavy heart. I questioned whether or not I was adequate enough to even begin to teach kids piano. I questioned whether or not I fully understood what I was getting myself into, and whether or not I fully understood the role of my job.

This discussion reminded me that piano, like many other activities, requires dedication and hard work. The relationship between a teacher and a student is not a one way street. Students need to practice - it is their job! You cannot expect progress with practice. With practice, you will go upwards and improve, little by little. The progress is not great to start with, but over time you grow in your craft and earn mastery over it. It is with this practice that a teacher can supplement the hard work that you have put in. I say 'supplement' because the critiques that teachers give should not replace the work that is already put in.

It works the same way with being a member of a sports team. You need to train and go to practice to improve. Without going to practice and demonstrating your technique and skills, how will your coach know whether or not you can handle a game? How will they know that you are dedicated? Coaches put their best players out on the field in order to create favourable situations for a win. 

With music, your "win" is the mastery of your skill.

Let me mention that I see both sides of the relationship equally. Currently, I am still a music student working at a goal that I have been dreaming over for a few years now, and that is a Diploma in Piano Pedagogy with the Royal Conservatory of Music in Toronto. I feel the pains of finding time to practice, the feeling of discontent when I cannot get a piece right and also the feeling when I have disappointed my teacher. However,  I also have experienced the great joys that come out of playing a piece with finesse, making my teacher proud and being able to demonstrate a clear understanding of what I have learned over the years. Music is one of those things in life where determination and discipline is crucial in order to succeed, and it is a lesson that I have brought with me everywhere to this day.

I would be lying to you if I told you that this path was easy. In fact, there have been times when I felt like dropping out and not playing anymore. Piano has taught me to never give up and to practice even harder when you feel like you are not getting anywhere. Because if anything, you are progressing even when you feel like you are regressing. Mastery is a slippery slope - you need to keep going up, because the minute you plateau, it is difficult (but not impossible) to continue upwards.

They say that "practice makes perfect", and in this respect, it is so true. Find the drive and the discipline to practice and give your teacher a reason to praise you. Remember that this relationship, like so many others, is a two way street. Music educators cannot give you their hands and brains for you to play the perfect piece. Instead, we can only give you a critique of what you have done well and what you can improve on. The rest is up to the student: practice, endure, and excel.

I feel that this concept can apply to anything that you wish to excel in. Without discipline and hard work, we would take our talents and gifts for granted. Push yourself to improve and never accept just mediocrity. 

Oh, and show some love to your fellow mentors and teachers too. :)

Your fellow music educator and ink spiller,

x R

(PS - here is a #tbt of me in Banff with a super nice Steinway)

"Your Manliness Turns Me Off"

A journey on Transit taught me so much.

I met a friend for lunch yesterday and then proceeded to run some errands and take a Transit journey to answer the question, "Can you get off the Millenium Line at Commercial-Broadway and walk over a bridge to get to the Expo Line? Because I see a little bridge thing on the map?..."

The answer is yes, by the way.

But taking this extra journey from Burnaby Mountain out to Commercial-Broadway gave me an opportunity to encounter three young men, also coming down from SFU.

I am going to leave it here by saying that they were each of different race and that I was not quite sure how old they were. After I got on the bus, these three young men walked on after me, really loud and obnoxiously and made their way over to the section I was sitting in. Sitting a couple rows away from me, they proceeded to talk about girls. Seemed normal enough, but their discussion was so loud that I could not help but tuning in, even with headphones in.

-"That girl at Saywell Hall was so skinny, but her rack was incredible."

-"Yeah, but did you see her thighs? Gross."

-"What do you care? You wouldn't have any guts to tell her to her face that her rack was incredible."

At this point I should mention that 1) I was furiously taking notes on my phone and 2) I was furiously seething at the fact that these guys had such a tasteless conversation all the way down the to the Skytrain. And just when I thought that I could escape from them, they followed the flurry of people onto the Skytrain, and got onto the same one that I did.

They got in the same car as me, and close to the door there was a girl, about my age or so, who was extremely beautiful. She was also very blessed in ways that would make other girls envious, and this caught the attention of the boys that sat across from her on the other side of the door, in front of me. Throughout their conversation of lewd comments and more objectification, two of them spent the better part of 10 minutes trying to get the other guy to go up to her and chat her up.

-"Talk about her eyes or rack or something. Yeah, her rack. Just do it, for us."

Whether he actually liked her or not, he finally went up at one stop and sat next to her. Since all three of them had not learned volume control since the bus down from SFU, it was evident that everyone sitting around them could hear him, and became uncomfortable.

-"Hey girl. You have pretty eyes and a smokin' rack. What's you're name and where are you going?"

The girl was clearly disgusted, but kept her composure. She turned to him and said, "I heard everything you were saying with your friends over there. Your manliness turns me off." She then got off and walked out of the train, leaving the other guy there. I watched as she walked to a Transit security guard, watching to see if any of the guys had gotten up and followed her.

This stunned the guy, stunned the two others, and made me want to give that girl a standing ovation.

The point I bring with this is not to condemn guys that talk about girls, because I know for a fact that girls seem to be a very popular topic among males. What I am saying is that sometimes, what guys think are "manly" may not really be so "manly" after all; in fact, it might undermine you as opposed to bringing you up.

Seeing all this unfold in front of me reminded me of a video that a classmate shared on Facebook. Youtube star Sam Pepper made a video of a prank that he played on girls and women, which involved him using a fake third hand in a "ass-pinch" prank. This disgusted me beyond belief - how could he find it enjoyable to make girls feel uncomfortable? While the three guys were in their own little world, they did enter the bus making cat calls at a girl in a dress that was walking by .

(Source: http://twitter.com/tyleroakley)

Take it from a girl when I say that looks are not everything - personality matters too. I can tell you for a fact that those three guys were good looking and well dressed. But the moment they opened their mouths, I was also turned off. Their pretty faces did not save them. And perhaps, I do not matter in their lives, but what if the one comes along and they continue to talk about such things? I can only imagine.

Now, I know that girls are just as guilty as the boys are. We are pros at playing games, gossiping and sometimes being super catty with each other. We objectify guys as well and play up our appearances in hopes to draw guys in.

This girl, who was turned off by the three young men's idea of manliness, stunned the guys for the time being. I can only hope that they will realize that some of the discussion that they had (which, for obvious reasons, I could not share here), is inappropriate.

(Source: http://r-ideout.tumblr.com)

As the new year approaches, I challenge everyone to be a better version of themselves.

Ladies, remember that you are more than the numbers on the scale, the curves on your body and the size of jeans that you wear. You are beautiful, and true beauty comes from what you say and do. Strive for relationships that build you up, instead of tearing you down. Hold out for those that are ready to respect you for all of you.

Gentlemen, remember that you do not need to do much to impress girls. Girls look for guys that make them feel special always, and for guys that will respect them and care for them. Bragging about your "exploits" is a very Illiadic and therefore, a thing of the past. Being respectful goes a long way, and I am sure that it will bring you much more happiness in return.

A new year is coming, everyone. Make it count!

So respect everyone, be the best person you can be, and spill more ink while you do.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

x R

A Girl Twice Her Age

12 years old

Have you ever noticed how much older girls are trying to look?

When I was 12 years old, I think that the extent of my knowledge of the human anatomy was really, really limited. I stuck to watching Lizzie McGuire (before Family channel got weird and cancelled on my TV) and thought that the only way to meet cute boys was to sneak out of the house and go to a really dim coffee house to "study".. and for the record, Ethan Craft was not even that cute! I wore clothes from Old Navy and Wal-Mart - "Forever 21" and "H&M" was not in my fashion vocabulary.

But then you look at 12 year old girls now, and the difference is startling. Not just in the TV shows that they watch, or the clothes that they wear, but their massive knowledge of everything, their familiarity with social media, and in general, how much older they look.

The other day I was at Target picking up a box of hair dye. A rule in my house was that I was not allowed to touch my hair with colour until I graduate, and even when I did graduate, it had to be a natural colour. So while my dreams of having dark purple hair was crushed, I was still quite excited to go choose a new colour for my hair.

While I was browsing the aisles, I came across a girl, about 11 or 12 (but as mentioned above, they look way older than they should), throwing a temper tantrum. Her mom was rolling her eyes and trying not to argue, but everyone around could tell that she was upset and wanted her daughter to stop acting childish.

This girl was wearing a crop top that I had seen in Forever 21 and super short, acid wash jean shorts. They are shorts where the pockets hang out from underneath. She had over the knee socks (sheer black, of course) and was wearing a pair of Converse. The most staggering thing about her appearance was her bright red, Ariana Grande trademark hair. She was holding a box of blonde hair dye, and from the looks of her temper tantrum, it looks like Ariana Grande was not turning blonde any time soon.

Despite the fact that this girl had the ability to change her hair way, way before I did, I'm sure she also got a phone before I did (I saw that fall out of her pocket while she threw the tantrum), and on that phone she probably texts boys, Snapchats, tweets and updates her Facebook status. She probably goes to the mall with her friends and Instagrams her Starbucks and takes shameless bathroom selfies...

...All things that admittedly, I have done once or twice at my ripe old age of 18.

But it is quite scary to me, to think that girls today are growing up in this massive mess of a world. Girls are expected to look a certain way, eat certain food and be up and ready to date by 14.

Going back to the Lizzie McGuire example, I am more than certain that Lizzie and her friends were 13 during the show. Was I this boy crazy at 13? Was I allowed to go out to the mall by myself or with my friends? Could I hang out with a boy?

To all the above, the answer is no.

Nowadays, I see girls half my age ordering frappucinos and watching movies like recent release "The Fault in Our Stars". As I walked out of the theater, very young girls (10? 9?) rushed out with their moms, drooling over Augustus Waters and asking their moms where they will find their own Augustus Waters.

Really? 

At 18

It is incorrect to ask if these girls understand the context of the movie and what is happening, because chances are, they do. Due to social media and Internet being so widely used and easily accessed, information can be found everywhere. If (spoiler alert) I saw that scene of Hazel and Gus rushing into the room at 10 years old, I would have thought that they were just having an innocent, co-ed slumber party. But at 18, we all know what is really happening. The unfortunate thing is that girls as young as 10 probably have the same understanding of the scene as I do now, and I am nearly double their age.

Furthermore, if girls have the same knowledge and understanding of something so mature, then that also means that they are vulnerable to more mature thoughts as opposed to carefree thoughts. I started really caring about how I looked when I entered high school, and looking back on old photos, I cringe at how I looked and what I wore. But young girls today are constantly bombarded with lingerie ads with skinny models, and in turn, 13 year-olds try to strive for the unattainable excellence of a Photoshopped body. Girls are starting to develop at younger ages, and more young girls are starting to have depression, anxiety, OCD and anorexia and bulimia.

These girls are aging faster than their time!

It scares me that young girls (my younger sisters included) are learning more and more about the world than they should at certain ages and not fully understanding what it all means. I am worried that my sisters and their friends are too consumed by what society wants then what they want. I am worried that in time to come, "childhood innocence" will cease to exist.

Take care of your daughters and sisters. Expose them to the sunshine and the world beyond the computer screen. Instead of Tumblr sunsets, offer them a real one. Let them know that there is a Prince Charming out there, but you will not find him on Facebook (because that's creepy). Show them that their body is enough, and it is pretty amazing regardless of shape. Remind them that they are loved, regardless of how much they now and what mistakes they have made.

I hope that the solution to this rising pandemic is to unplug and spending quality time with one another. 

So turn off your phones and relax. Talk in person, love the young girls in your life and spill ink while you do.

x R