It Makes No Cents - Generation Disrespect

Today was a good day. My midterm is out of the way and finally done and over with, and to my pleasant surprise it was not that bad. That, however, is not the focus for the post.

It is what happened after, on my way home.

I was walking home after what you would call a good day at school. I was happy and in high spirits. As I was walking, minding my own business, two Caucasian boys, about 12 or 13 I think, approached me on their bikes. One of them, the older one presumably, proceeded to ask me:

"Hey, can you give me a dollar fifty?"

Now this totally took me by surprise. First of all, I had no idea who these guys were, and they had no idea who I was. Typically strangers do not ask strangers for money, much less without any form of politeness or respect... but I digress.

I then proceeded to shake my head and politely say, "Sorry, I used it on the bus."

After that, with no warning or anything, they take off on their bikes. No thanks, no nothing. Just words of hate: "Oooh, the stupid Chinese girl used a dollar fifty on the bus!"

Okay, rude.

A couple things:
1. Asking strangers for money... questionable.
2. I did not withhold money from them because they were a) white b) just kids or that c) I was greedy. I will tell you here that I have a U-Pass, therefore, I have no need to use change on the bus. But the way that these two were insincere from the moment they opened their mouths, I decided that they were not going to get my one fifty.
3. Hello, unnecessary racial slurs.
4. WHERE IS THEIR RESPECT?!

Unfortunately, this is not the first time I have witnessed or personally experienced young kids who are rude. My dad told us about one time how he was approached by two young girls, perhaps about the same age as the boys above, and without any acknowledgement or antagonizing (which my dad had no interest or time for anyhow), came up to him and began making inappropriate faces at him. For no good reason at all.

So what is my point?

This, my friends, is my biggest pet peeve of all time. I am ashamed to be part of a generation where people can be so rude, so disrespectful, and so ignorant to not just strangers, but their own family and friends as well.

Going back to the boys, the unnecessary use of racial slurs baffled me to know end and put me in great disbelief. What era are we in? I do not accept racial terms of any kind. It is disgusting that some people would think of themselves as higher than other races because of their skin colour. But the fact that we, in 2014, have come so far in achieving equality for peoples of all skin colours and STILL have people being racist and ignorant is unbelievable. The fact that these kids are using racial slurs is uncalled for.

In my mind, children of today should be more tolerant as they were the ones that grew up with ethnic diversity way more so than their grandparents. But the truth is, I hear racial slurs all too often. Just last week, more young kids used the term "old black bastard" under their breath when they were gently reminded by this African American gentleman to free up their spot on the bus for an elderly woman. Not to mention the conversation I overheard, again on a bus, between two young girls that were discussing why she would not date a guy in her grade because he was not white.

Now I recognize that after all this, you may be thinking that I myself am being racist, because it seems that the common thread throughout these incidents may be that all these disrespectful kids are white. I would like to tell you that not all white kids are bad, just the way that not all kids of other skin colours are not innocent. In the end, it comes down to how children were brought up and their family dynamic.

The sad reality is that more and more children are becoming more ignorant and more disrespectful, which is why I get so frustrated and am so ashamed for the way that they act around strangers. I remember as a young girl getting disciplined openly for being disrespectful to anyone. Nowadays, I do not even think twice about the way that I should act. Everyone, especially those that are older than I am, deserves MY respect, whether they are white or black, Asian or Hispanic, it does not matter. We are all the same. We are all equal. We do not succeed without one another.

To conclude, though I was rattled by this incident (and I realize that my biggest fault is getting rattled too easily and holding grudges), I take this as a reminder that I should respect everyone, even if they are not nice to me. I hope that you, too, will take this as a reminder as well.

(http://autisticsspeakingday.blogspot.ca/)

"Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king." - 1 Peter 2:17 (New American Standard Bible)

So give everyone the respect they deserve! Live righteously and remember to do unto others what you would like them to do to you, and spill ink while you do so.

x R 

Officially A Loser

OKAY (That is what my International Studies prof says all the time, in that precise manner).

One thing's for sure (and my mom can attest to this too), I hate eating lunch, or any meal for that matter, by myself. And by myself, I mean alone in public places. I feel that eating is a social thing, and though one might argue that it makes everyone eat slower because people are trying to talk instead of eat, I think most people agree that eating with friends is more fun than eating alone.

Now, I think that I do not just hate eating alone but I also fear it. There is apparently a term known as "solomangarephobia" that precisely describes my fear - the fear of eating solo.

So why do I fear eating alone?

Many times when I go out with family or friends for a meal, I enjoy the company that they provide for me. It gives me a sense of security and does not make me feel awkward while I'm eating. From time to time I glance around at the array of people in the restaurant, and 9 times out of 10, there will always be solo dinners.

I am curious as to what is going through their minds while they eat by themselves. I do not pity them per se, but I do wonder how they feel about eating alone. I almost feel awkward for them. I feel that same awkwardness when I am asked to go and eat by myself.

As I am learning in university, there is very little time to eat. Sometimes, an older and wiser friend told me, you have to go eat by yourself.

What?

Maybe this is because I am such a social being that I have this notorious fear that will not let go of me. 

This fear was also prevalent in high school too. Once everyone was able to drive out of school to eat lunch, I would come out of meeting after meeting with the threat of eating alone. The feeling was something incomprehensible, yet, it seemed so simple. I just did not want to eat by myself.

But yesterday I was forced to do that. After exploring SFU Vancouver for the first time, I was hungry for lunch. The thing was, I was in the middle of downtown with no friends. I had nothing with me but my bag and a craving for Japadog.

So I went, in search of the Japadog. And then I went, in search of a place to eat, alone.

I was petrified of this experience - sitting out in public, alone. It almost seemed like high school all over again, with office workers and tourists alike passing by and thinking that I was a loser, eating all alone. To make thing worse, a couple tourists had asked me to take their picture. Being a polite Canadian I agreed and helped them get a few shots. When it was all over, the asked me, "Dear, why are you eating lunch all by yourself?"

Officially a loser.

I had nothing to hide but the truth. "I'm down here by myself today."

The tourists nodded knowingly. One of the elderly ladies spoke. "It's good to take some time for yourself though. Get away from all the yapping mouths", she said, making a talking motion with her hands behind her husband. We laughed together and I wished them a good day.

In time afterwards, I realized that she was right. I did take that afternoon for myself.

I very rarely go to downtown, and I go even more rarely by myself. But on Friday, with the sun shining down through a perfectly cloudless and brilliant blue sky, I took in everything around me. I became invisible, like a piece of architecture. I just observed everything around me, took in the smells and the sights and looked ahead, instead of behind.

Sitting by the water, I looked at the ripples of the water. I watched seagulls fly to meet others on rocks. I looked at my reflection in the water. And as I sat and listened, I began to regain sight on a person that I had lost while I was so busy trying to conform to the social standards of society - me.

When you are by yourself, you see the world differently. In many ways, you become vulnerable. But this vulnerability allows you to look introspectively into yourself. The quietude allows you to breathe and not be choked out by the voices around you.

So maybe, in the end, I became a winner.

Here are some of the shots I took from yesterday:

And of course, to fulfill my obsession with panoramas:

So take time for yourself! Be a tourist in your own city, fulfill your cravings and sit in the quietude of yourself. Never be afraid to eat by yourself (as I will try to be now!) and spill more ink while you do.

x R

"The F Word"

So I know what you're thinking - "Why such a vulgar title?"

Hear me out on this one.

Recently I went to go watch the movie "The F Word", starring none other than Harry Potter himself (Daniel Radcliffe) and American actress Zoe Kazan. If you have not seen it or are planning to and have not yet found the time to, it is a charming movie that explores a topic that coincidentally I had been exploring and hoped to write a post about for nearly a month now.

Wallace (Radcliffe) and Chantry (Kazan) after their first meeting. (source)

To not give too much away, the movie follows Wallace (Radcliffe) and his "friendship" with Chantry (Kazan). Chantry has a boyfriend that, at first, does not scare Wallace because he only means to be friends with Chantry. Eventually the two of them show signs that they are falling in love with each other, and this movie touches on an interesting aspect of adolescent, young adult and quite possibly adult life: can guys and girls coexist with platonic relationships, or will there always be an underlying desire for the other?

We often hear of people dating their "best friend". Many times these best friend couples turn into engagements that turn into couples who are still madly in love with each other after 50 years. Of course, the logic here is simple: many of us would probably not last in a relationship that did not begin as a friendship. As I had learned from talking to other people for my last social experiment, "love takes time to grow in". It makes perfect sense that two people, who first start off as friends, could eventually find that they are in love with this friend. Should the affection be returned, this could be the start of a relationship.

However, we know perfectly well that just because we hang out with people of the opposite gender, that does not automatically deem us to be dating the other person. Talking to different people, the verdict is similar: guys and girls can hang out as friends. One person I talked to put it very clearly:

"It is possible for a relationship between a guy and a girl to lean anyway. They could both choose to'friend-zone' each other because their relationship is almost like a familial, brother-sister kind of love. They could both eventually fall in love with each other because they realize that what they have is more than just friendship. Not fairy tale love, but pure, selfless love. Or it could be split down the middle, where one wants to be more than just friends while the other feels that where they are is enough. It is different with every pairing, because each person is unique. Find a combination that works and you either have yourself the best friend you could ever ask for, or your future spouse."

Personally for me, I have heard my fair share of rumours go around about the people that I hang out with. I have seen that I do have a considerable amount of friends that are of the opposite gender. Obviously, some I may have an attraction for, some I may date and some I will just remain friends with. But I firmly believe that platonic relationships are possible. Things become a little confusing when selfish motives get in the way. If we root our friendships in holiness, humility and true love, then we will find the true meaning behind the relationships we forge, instead of trying to search for meaning behind smoke and mirrors.

Of course, not all of our friendships will be like Wallace's and Chantry's. Take heart, though, that God has something planned for you and someone to spend your life with. Look for true friends - ones that will help you to reach your goals and be the best person you can be and challenges you to help them as well as others. These relationships help us to learn more about the world, each other, and ultimately how God made the world to be.

And since school is starting up soon, I challenge all of you to make new friends. Keep the ones that you have, but never limit yourself. Platonic or romantic relationships aside, the first step into becoming friends is meeting people and stepping outside of yourself.

"Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honour." - Romans 12:10

So enjoy the rest of the long weekend! Rest up and get ready for new adventures and new friendships. Love one another with brotherly (and sisterly!) affection and spill more ink while you do.

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Thanks to all those that I talked to for this post! What are your thoughts on guy/girl friendships? Do you think that all friendships can last, or will possible feelings get in the way? Leave your thoughts in the comments below! Thanks for reading! x

God's Wicked Sense of Humour

Hello friends! I hope everyone has been keeping well in this (ahem) final week of summer.

Today was a fantastic day with a bit of a twist. I would like to think of it not as God bursting my bubble, but having a really twisted sense of humour. This is why:

Orientation for undergraduate Simon Fraser students occurred today at the Surrey Campus. In one week, SFU would become my new school for the next little while. I had been so excited for this day ever since an invitation came in the mail, inviting me to register. Many people know that SFU had been my first choice for post-secondary for, well, forever.This was a new chapter in my life, and I was excited, overjoyed and overwhelmed.

Of course, the nerves got to me too. This is where God's twisted sense of humour, and the test that came with it, came into play in my life today.

This morning was an early one, and I had lucked out with my mom giving me a ride as opposed to taking an early morning bus. As I was crossing the street, a woman in high heels ran behind me, her arms and bag flailing as she yelled into her phone. Evidently, she was late. I did not have time to ask her, but at that moment, she had bumped into me, sending my knees to lock and my foot hitting the curb. The next thing I knew, I found myself lying in the path of on coming traffic.

I watched her retreating figure with disbelief, and a kind lady helped me get up and out of the way of traffic. At that point, I realized three things:

1. My hand was bleeding and a big, scary mess.
2. I had not only scratched up one side of my leg, but my ankle was also bleeding in two places.
3. God had a wicked sense of humour.

Thanking the lady, I proceeded to walk through the doors of the building. I marched up to the security desk and asked for a first aid kit. At this point, I would like to give a shout out to the two security guards that attended to me as well as the first aid attendant. I got bandaged up and my hand was wrapped up so that the band-aid would stay in place.

So why do I tell you this?

Though this was an unfortunate start to the day and I had this constantly playing and replaying on my mind, I realized three more things:

1. The wrap on my hand made fantastic conversation starters (especially with cute boys! HAHA). I quickly became known to my new peers as "The girl who required first aid even before Welcome Day even started". Everyone wanted to know why my hand was wrapped in the way that it was.
2. I knew that despite this terrible start to the day, what mattered most was that I did not get seriously injured. Surface wounds hurt but do not take that much time to heal. A broken ankle or getting hit by a car, a little longer. Just a little.
3. Despite God's wicked sense of humour, I was not going to let something small like this ruin what turned out to be an amazing and fruitful day.

Many people also know that I was infamously burned at school one day. Every time I change my outfit, I laugh and am constantly reminded of how at one time, I was cursing God and the girl that burned me with her tea and my bad luck. Today, I look back on this nasty spill from a business women with poor time management with a sense of understanding.

They say that God has a plan for us, and everything that happens to us teaches us a lesson and is for a purpose. And okay, maybe this little fall on the road is very minuscule in God's eyes. Maybe it was not even in His plan and maybe, I really am ungraceful. But at the end of the day, I am okay. I got through the day (albeit slightly uncomfortably), but I did not let it ruin the day for me.

So often do we find ourselves in situations that disappoint us. This is so true for me, especially with the weather. I am notorious for complaining about the weather, especially when I have made plans with friends. My mom can attribute to the fact that I will constantly complain about rainy days. I learn now that we should never let little things like this get to us, or worse, get to us and ruin our days.

In his poem "To A Mouse", Robert Burns says, "The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry". Unfortunately, disappointment is a constant factor in our lives. God likes to throw curve balls our way, just to see how we would react. Know that the decision lies within YOU to enjoy the plans that you have made, whether or not they are perfect.

Of course, this is not to say that I would welcome twisting my ankle on my wedding day. However, I do know that we should always be prepared for anything. I am not saying that we should constantly be on guard and anticipate crazy business ladies pushing out of their ways, but be prepared. God has laid out a plan for us, and I am starting to realize that it is not as simple as a straight line towards Him. It requires climbing mountains, swimming across oceans and uneven terrain.

And with that I say, let us welcome each day with open arms. Do not fear what could happen, but embrace everything: the good, the bad, and even the ugly. I am not sure what scars will be left from today, but I will remember today: how I felt at the moment of impact, how I succeeded in having a fruitful day, and wondering if she ever made it to her meeting on time.

"'My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,' says the Lord. 'And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.'" - Isaiah 55:8-9

 In this last week of summer, and in the new journeys that many of my fellow classmates are embarking on, embrace the change. Embrace the new life with all ups and downs, triumphs and disappointments. Keep an open mind, seize the day, and spill more ink while you do.

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In case you are a bit confused, I wrote this Wednesday night so as to keep all my thoughts together and not forget them. I was not ready to post it at midnight though! Thanks for reading!

What is Love (At First Sight)?

So after nearly two and a half weeks of searching, reading and interviewing, I am happy to say that my research is complete! This is what happened:

I asked 3 males and 3 females from the ages of 13-21 to help me answer a simple question and give their two sense on why they chose the answer that they did. Before I get into what the question is, let me paint the scenario on how this came to be.

I started asking for interviewees right around the time that I heard this conversation. It was at Chapters, and I was looking for another poetry book. As I scoured the shelves trying to find this book, I heard giggling. It was loud and shrill, and though this was not a library, I could feel all eyes on these two teenage girls. With teenage girls, I have to say they were maybe 15, but of course it is so difficult to tell these days.

They each were holding a copy of John Green's The Fault in Our Stars and laughing madly. When their laughter subsided, one of them whispered, "What would it like to have a guy fall in love with you, knowing that you were the one for him? And he didn't need to look for anyone else. All he needed was to convince you that you were the one for him."

That touched me, just a little bit.

I grew up with the age of Disney princesses meeting their one true love, usually some guy with a good head of hair on a horse. They did not know it then, but by the end of the movie we all knew that Cinderella and the guy with the awesome shoulder pads were going to get married. In contrast, many chick flicks usually revolve around two people that maybe first hate each other, then eventually grow to love each other.

So which is the norm, and which is just pure fantasy?

This brings me to the simple question I wanted to ask all my interviewees:

"Do you believe in love at first sight?"

I asked all my interviewees to answer with yes or no, and then to substantiate further. Of course, there is no right or wrong answer. Some were quick to answer, while some pored for hours and hours. The verdict? 81% of the people do not believe in love at first sight, and here are some of the reasons why:

"Love at first sight is basically what it is; it's what you see" (F/14)

"There is such thing as infatuation at first sight, but I can't believe that people could fall in love with someone that they barely know" (M/16)

"People are difficult to figure out - you can never tell a person entirely at just a glimpse" (M/17)

"You need to be able to feel love and grow with it. It requires patience" (F/18)

"In 0.5 seconds, you can't know a person's past, baggage or life story" (M/19)

"First impressions can be really different from reality" (F/21)

While the majority voted against the possibility of love at first sight happening at all, there were some hopefuls: the rest of the interviewees (19%) believed that it was possible to fall for someone that they just met.

"When someone catches your attention, the feeling is hard to explain. You want to go after that person because you never know when you will see them again" (M/13)

"Try to make it work. First person, first impression" (M/15)

"There have been many people in my life that have experienced it, and I am willing to believe that it could happen to me" (F/16)

"Love at first sight happens on eye contact. We would both know it right away" (F/17)

"Blame it on romantic movies" (M/20)

It was interesting to see what people had to say and how that correlated to their age and gender. Going into this, I had a bias that males would definitely be against this whole idea of love at first sight. However, 25% of the boys believed that it was possible, while just 13% of girls believed that it was possible. Generally, most of those that said 'yes' were on the younger side, though there were a few exceptions.

While I was interviewing a 13 year old girl, we had a deep conversation about books and TV shows and movies. She was all for love at first sight, determined to find that one "movie moment" where she would meet the guy of her dreams. She thought about this in silence for a bit, and then turned the tables on me. "Do you believe in love at first sight?"

Though I had this question bouncing around in my mind, I never took the time to answer it internally. I thought and thought. I told her that eventually, I would get back to her. Today, I will get back to her:

For me, I am not entirely sure. Even in the movies, the people that eventually fall in love do not love each other at first sight. As mentioned above, they probably get annoyed with each other. Examples I can use are the main characters in "Letters to Juliet" or "27 Dresses". Even Hazel Grace did not feel Augustus Waters right away, even though he knew in his heart that she was the one.

Is it possible? Maybe. There are plenty of stories out there that suggest that love at first sight is possible, and I have talked to many people whose parents, grandparents or other relatives have met "the One" and stuck with them ever since. My personal experience with what people identify as "that slow motion moment" is plenty. I have met several guys that I have crushed on and eventually became just friends with, and others that I have eventually dated and still others that have later proven that they are nothing like what I thought they would be like. And of course, there are many that I will forever have undying feelings for, like Jimmy Fallon.

So back to those girls at Chapters. While the one girl was fantasizing of how she would meet the one person she would spend the rest of her life with, her friend asked her if she believed in love at first sight. She said yes and returned the question. "I'll believe it when I see it."

And maybe, that's all you really can do.

The Bible tells us that "love is patient [and] love is kind" (1 Corinthians 13:4). 27 Dresses taught me that:

(Source)

The journey of love, and I am beginning to learn, is more than just good looks and first impressions. It is how you grow with the person and how you learn to love them in return that makes it worthwhile and exciting. You learn so much from these experiences and gain new insight. And even though you may lose your mind once or twice, what is important is how you pick yourself up and get back onto both feet.

So love the ones you are with! Love the person in front of you, behind you and beside you and enjoy the moments you make. There is only one week of summer left (boo!), so make the most of it and spill more ink while you do.

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Thank you to all who let me steal a bit of their time so that I could talk to them for this article. I am truly blessed to have gained new insight from so many different people. x

Jeremiah 29:11

Allow me to be transparent for a short fraction of time,

But I'm scared for what is to come.

I know, I know, there is no use in worrying about what hasn't happened yet. The more we spend living in fear, the less we can truly live out our lives. We should go into the world with little fear and more excitement, more passion, than anything else. The unknown is great: it is vast and holds so many opportunities for us.

After meeting again with an academic adviser to discuss my plans (yet again) for the coming September, she pinned me down instantly (and we only met four times in person).

"Are you a natural worrier?"
"What are you worried about?"
"Is it because you don't trust yourself?"
"When is a time when you have no worries at all?"
"What can you do to ease your worrying?"

These are all questions she asked, all questions I have pondered over the past 24 hours and quite frankly, questions that I have even gone to the extent of worrying about.

So to answer all the above,

- I am a natural worrier. Though I would like to deny it, I am a worrier. I am also a perfectionist, and I think that is why I am always so worried about everything, from school to how I am perceived to my future. I would not go as far as to say that I am obsessive compulsive, but I would say that I get anxiety quite easily. The past two years have been a time of renewal and a time of change. I have started to let go of the fact that sometimes, I have done my best and that is all that matters. With that comes the anxiety that my best is not good enough. I get worried, I get anxious, and I am trying to ease off on myself and the world around me. Let me tell you firsthand, anxiety is not pretty and to put it plainly, it sucks. Now I know that many people tell me that anxiety is a "me" thing and that I am the only one standing between my struggle and my freedom... I suppose that is very true, but at the same time, I cannot seem to help it.

- What do I get worried about? Various things - What is university going to be like next year? How am I going to cope with the work load? Will I make new friends? Will I make it through exams? Will I make it through the next 4-5 years?
These are immediate worries. There is also the worry about keeping friends close. The worry that some friends are making choices that could affect their lives in negative ways. I worry for my family. I worry for my health and the health of my family. Admittedly, I worry for the ones that steal my heart. I worry for things that have not happened yet and quite possibly, might never happen.

- I feel that I have a certain amount of trust for myself. Don't get me wrong, I respect myself wholly, but respect and trust are different in my mind. I feel that to compensate for errors and failings of the past, there is an amount of accountability I have to hold myself to.

- Is there ever a time when I am never worried? Probably when I am asleep. Even now during summer vacation, my anxiety goes up in preparation for what is to come. I would say that I am always worrying about something, but the level and amount differs from day to day, month to month, year to year.

- To be quite honest, I am terrible at finding time for myself. "Time for myself" typically is time spent procrastinating. Sometimes when I want to be eventful and I have something on my mind, I write in my journal and of course, try to write something inspirational here. I like to play the piano and relax with my family, but many times worrying sends me to the corners of my room, trying to figure out why I am so worried and what I can do to get over it.

So I should not be one to talk, but I wish nothing but happiness and calm for you all. I would like to challenge everyone, myself included, to put aside the worrying in our lives, especially worries about the future. We should enter each day with open arms and a trust that God has plans for us:

"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.'"

- Jeremiah 29:11

 And if that is all there is to it, then maybe it is worth giving up our worrying and putting our trust in God.

What is one thing that you are worried about right now in this stage of your life? Whatever it is, big or small, offer it up to God, and then, put it aside. Do what you can do for today, and when the time comes, do what you can do for that particularly worry. You may find that by that time, the worry has passed.

So enjoy summer! I hate to break it to you all, but we are halfway through July, which is insane. Take time to relax, put your worries aside and spill ink while you do.

A Girl Twice Her Age

12 years old

Have you ever noticed how much older girls are trying to look?

When I was 12 years old, I think that the extent of my knowledge of the human anatomy was really, really limited. I stuck to watching Lizzie McGuire (before Family channel got weird and cancelled on my TV) and thought that the only way to meet cute boys was to sneak out of the house and go to a really dim coffee house to "study".. and for the record, Ethan Craft was not even that cute! I wore clothes from Old Navy and Wal-Mart - "Forever 21" and "H&M" was not in my fashion vocabulary.

But then you look at 12 year old girls now, and the difference is startling. Not just in the TV shows that they watch, or the clothes that they wear, but their massive knowledge of everything, their familiarity with social media, and in general, how much older they look.

The other day I was at Target picking up a box of hair dye. A rule in my house was that I was not allowed to touch my hair with colour until I graduate, and even when I did graduate, it had to be a natural colour. So while my dreams of having dark purple hair was crushed, I was still quite excited to go choose a new colour for my hair.

While I was browsing the aisles, I came across a girl, about 11 or 12 (but as mentioned above, they look way older than they should), throwing a temper tantrum. Her mom was rolling her eyes and trying not to argue, but everyone around could tell that she was upset and wanted her daughter to stop acting childish.

This girl was wearing a crop top that I had seen in Forever 21 and super short, acid wash jean shorts. They are shorts where the pockets hang out from underneath. She had over the knee socks (sheer black, of course) and was wearing a pair of Converse. The most staggering thing about her appearance was her bright red, Ariana Grande trademark hair. She was holding a box of blonde hair dye, and from the looks of her temper tantrum, it looks like Ariana Grande was not turning blonde any time soon.

Despite the fact that this girl had the ability to change her hair way, way before I did, I'm sure she also got a phone before I did (I saw that fall out of her pocket while she threw the tantrum), and on that phone she probably texts boys, Snapchats, tweets and updates her Facebook status. She probably goes to the mall with her friends and Instagrams her Starbucks and takes shameless bathroom selfies...

...All things that admittedly, I have done once or twice at my ripe old age of 18.

But it is quite scary to me, to think that girls today are growing up in this massive mess of a world. Girls are expected to look a certain way, eat certain food and be up and ready to date by 14.

Going back to the Lizzie McGuire example, I am more than certain that Lizzie and her friends were 13 during the show. Was I this boy crazy at 13? Was I allowed to go out to the mall by myself or with my friends? Could I hang out with a boy?

To all the above, the answer is no.

Nowadays, I see girls half my age ordering frappucinos and watching movies like recent release "The Fault in Our Stars". As I walked out of the theater, very young girls (10? 9?) rushed out with their moms, drooling over Augustus Waters and asking their moms where they will find their own Augustus Waters.

Really? 

At 18

It is incorrect to ask if these girls understand the context of the movie and what is happening, because chances are, they do. Due to social media and Internet being so widely used and easily accessed, information can be found everywhere. If (spoiler alert) I saw that scene of Hazel and Gus rushing into the room at 10 years old, I would have thought that they were just having an innocent, co-ed slumber party. But at 18, we all know what is really happening. The unfortunate thing is that girls as young as 10 probably have the same understanding of the scene as I do now, and I am nearly double their age.

Furthermore, if girls have the same knowledge and understanding of something so mature, then that also means that they are vulnerable to more mature thoughts as opposed to carefree thoughts. I started really caring about how I looked when I entered high school, and looking back on old photos, I cringe at how I looked and what I wore. But young girls today are constantly bombarded with lingerie ads with skinny models, and in turn, 13 year-olds try to strive for the unattainable excellence of a Photoshopped body. Girls are starting to develop at younger ages, and more young girls are starting to have depression, anxiety, OCD and anorexia and bulimia.

These girls are aging faster than their time!

It scares me that young girls (my younger sisters included) are learning more and more about the world than they should at certain ages and not fully understanding what it all means. I am worried that my sisters and their friends are too consumed by what society wants then what they want. I am worried that in time to come, "childhood innocence" will cease to exist.

Take care of your daughters and sisters. Expose them to the sunshine and the world beyond the computer screen. Instead of Tumblr sunsets, offer them a real one. Let them know that there is a Prince Charming out there, but you will not find him on Facebook (because that's creepy). Show them that their body is enough, and it is pretty amazing regardless of shape. Remind them that they are loved, regardless of how much they now and what mistakes they have made.

I hope that the solution to this rising pandemic is to unplug and spending quality time with one another. 

So turn off your phones and relax. Talk in person, love the young girls in your life and spill ink while you do.

x R

To the Future Boys That May Become Future Brothers-in-Laws,

Ah, young love. I love it, I hate it, and admittedly I find myself to be jealous of those who are successful with "young love".

I just came to terms with the inner battle of my own "young love" that maybe, I am still too young to understand what love is. All the same, I wonder sometimes how girls that are younger than I am have the strength to carry out long lasting relationships. Is it because maybe they know something more about love than I do? Are they just naive and evasive of potential problems? Or maybe.. they have found their soul mate at the  ever young age of 12 years old?

How do you find true love at 12 years old?

It's weird being the oldest and seeing my younger sisters interact with boys. I'm going to be really frank, we all talk about a lot of different things. What we never talk about is our love life (read: my love life. Or possibly Eleanor's.) You may be marveling at this title that I have chosen for this post. Clearly, my sisters (and myself, for that matter) are a long ways off from finding a soul mate and husband to spend the rest of our lives with. I'm not sure how I will react to seeing them holding hands with (gasp) a boy, but here's a letter of affection to whoever may choose to pursue either one of my lovely sisters:

To the Future Boys That May Become Future Brothers-in-Laws,

First off, seeing my sister texting you, holding hands with you and going places with you makes me cringe just a bit - not because I dislike you, but because I'm trying to figure out where all the time went, and if this is actually reality. As strange as this sensation is to me, I'm trying my best to come to terms with the fact that she is growing up and I was once like her.

So take care of her - tell her that she is special and beautiful. Take her out on dates - plan them and surprise her. Let her take charge and surprise you. Be spontaneous and discover new things and new places together. Make memories with her.

Don't hide things from her - honesty and trust are two major pillars in a relationship. If you can't be upfront with her, ask yourself why. Are you afraid that she will judge you? Are you hiding something that you aren't proud of? Do you think that you can just 'sweep it under the rug' because it doesn't matter? If you are hiding something, then maybe it does. Be honest - the less you hide, the easier if is for her to confide in you.

Communicate with her - tell her how you are feeling about certain things. There is no need to lie about how you feel - a true lady and gentleman respects their love's feelings.If you can't see her in person, text or call her. Let her know that you are alive (please) and that you are still thinking about her.

Respect her - remember that a relationship is a two way street. If you both respect each other's wishes and feelings, the relationship will go a long way. No means no, and if you can't understand that, then you best be moving on until you do.

Respect her family - This is key, my friend. As her family, we aren't going to bite you or hurt you. We just want what is best for our sister. My parents want someone that will respect them and take care of her. So talk to us, get to know us and spend time with us - if you really want to marry my sister, the reality is, you'll be marrying us too.

Understand her - understand who she is, what she loves to do and where she has come from. Try to read between the lines of the story of her life and help her to heal the wounds of the past and build memories for the future.

Most importantly, LOVE her and PRAY her - if you really love my sister, please do all of these things. Pray for her - her dreams, her hopes and her struggles. Pray for her family. Pray for her well being and that she will be able to follow in God's path of righteousness. With God on your side, your relationship will flourish. Take pride in knowing that "If God is for you, who can be against you?" (Romans 8:31).

So love her unconditionally and make God the focus of your relationship. With all these things, I hope to call you my brother-in-law....many years down the road, of course!

Rachel

^^ And I think all of this is my hurt speaking, but hey, at least now I know what I need to look for in a potential husband.

So live out and love mightily, keep God as your focus and of course, spill ink while you do.

Dedicated to Graeme

So let's be totally real - I was never in shape. I am by far the laziest person ever when it comes to anything physical. I like walking and hikes and stuff, but sports? PE class (Praise God for no more of those)? Running? 

HAHAHAHAHA no.

Honestly, despite my lack of physical activity God has smiled down on me and though I am not the thinnest, God is magical and has blessed me abundantly. Being a chubby kid when I was younger, I can truly appreciate the fact that growing up really does work wonders and that puberty really is the most awkward time of any kid.

Today, about two and a half weeks before grad, I decided that I would begin a new regiment to work out, not just to look good for grad (but let's face it - two and a half weeks won't do that much), but also to begin exercising. There was no more rain or cold for me to hide behind, and hey, it was now or never.

And I did it.

And elementary school me came back to haunt me.

Having not run for a few months, I could only manage one lap before feeling my legs collapse from underneath me, my lungs giving out and I began panting, wanting to give up. It was then that I began my walk, which would have probably been what I had continued to do if it was not for the mystery running man.

As I was halfway through my walking lap, a man that I had saw running pulled up in front of me. It's not a contest, I told myself. He has his pace and I have mine. But for whatever reason, I saw that he began to slow down. "Run, girl. Run!" he called out to me.

I laughed to myself. Nah, not now. Maybe later.

The man did not stop running to call after me. Looking behind him, he called out to me again. "Come on, girl! Let's run!"

For whatever reason, I did. And I didn't stop.

As we ran together, he introduced himself as Graeme, an ex-tennis player from Fiji. He was maybe about 50 something years old and in impeccable shape. He never once stopped running, and together, we ran straight for nearly half an hour.

To put things into perspective:
- my best time for the mile run was 9:47. That's actually really sad.
- the beep test is my mortal enemy, and my best level was may 5-6. (my lowest was 3-1)
- I was asked to do the 800 m run once. I gave up half way.
- I was asked to do the 800 m run again (didn't they learn their lesson?). I threw up after the race.
- I think that the most running that I have ever done straight recently was two and a half laps, tops.
- The fastest I've ever seen myself run was in a mall because I was late meeting someone. That and the sales.

So you can see my downfall here.

The fact that I was running for that length of time without stopping made me realize what I was capable of. But why me, I asked Graeme. Why are you motivating me and not another runner?

"Let me tell you something. I ran for 5 laps and then I was ready to give up. To pack up and begin walking. But then I saw you walking, and it made me realize that maybe, you wanted to run too. Maybe you would run eventually, but maybe you wouldn't. I needed motivation. You needed motivation. So I encouraged you to run, and encouraging you to run made me push myself. We all have our own paces, but how will you know if you don't push yourself?"

Solid.

So even though I am in no way on my way to becoming an Olympic athlete or a marathon runner, I am ready to do whatever it takes to push myself when it comes to staying in shape and exercising. To quote Graeme (who probably quoted Nike), "Don't just try to do it, just do it."

I'll keep you all posted on how that goes.

Until next time, keep fit, stay healthy, and spill some ink while you're at it.

The Most Interesting Half an Hour of My Life

To be completely honest, I never knew that half an hour could be so earth shattering, so confusing and yet so amazing in that one instance.

Half an hour was the amount of time it took to take close to 50 different shots for grad photos. Admittedly the flash got in my eyes and made them smaller than usual. I was blinded for mere seconds to return back to reality, wearing heels that gave me 4 extra inches in height and more make up than I was used to.

In half an hour, my entire life flashed before my eyes.. literally.

Okay, so maybe I'm extremely melodramatic. I wasn't in danger at any point during this shoot, but during this occasion when I slipped into the graduation gown for the first time and looked at myself in the mirror, the cinema began playing.

It is so strange to think that in 5 months time, I will be graduating. I have been waiting for this day for 13 years, and it came quicker than I anticipated it to do so. The fact that I am moving on from one stage of my life to a new one is weird to me. This life is all I have ever known, and this coming September I will be put into a new life.

I realize that I tend to over think things, and this year I've tried my best to take things as they come and go with the flow of things. What is inevitable is that whether I like it or not, I'm still graduating. I'm going to have to move on when the commencements happen in June. We all age and time continues to tick on; it waits for no one.

With each picture taken a flash would go off every 15 seconds. Every 15 seconds a part of my life would dance before my eyes. For that half an hour I relived every memorable moment in my life, and when the photographers told me that it was done, I was brought back to the person I am now. I wish I could remember what ran through my mind when I was the ages of 3 or 7 or 12 or 15. My mind only stretches so far, but yet in that half an hour everything had rushed back into my memory like flooding water.

During this time I also realized that I spend way too much time feeling unhappy about things that aren't worth my time. Admittedly I like to do that, not because I "like" to but because that's just who I am and it's what I've been doing for.. ever.

I need to make the first step to realize that I can choose to be sad, or I can choose to move on. If time flies this quickly and 18 years can go by in the blink of an eye, then there is no time to waste by being sad. Why do we let these things take over our minds and memories? It seems that all we remember are the negative things when really, we should be focusing on the positives and let these happy times burn into our memories.

Walking away from what was advertised to me as another photo shoot helped me to realize how quickly life goes by, how short it truly is and how we all deserve to be happy in this short life of ours. After all, if we are happy, then life will be more enjoyable and be a lot longer.

So live life, be happy, and spill more ink while you do so.

The Wisdom of a 10 Year Old

They say that as you age, you become more mature and learn more. Therefore, as the saying goes, you should theoretically be wiser as you get older. For many this is the case: look at our grandparents. Look at our parents. Look at the ones that we depend on for help and counsel in our times of need.

This past weekend I had the opportunity to spend time with an interesting young soul who, in my mind, had a very mature sense of direction. Only 10 years old, she carried herself with poise and grace. She was able to greet many people by name and was very eloquently put.

With short blonde hair and grey-green eyes, she is beautiful. Her smile is radiant and the way she talks commands attention from whoever she speaks to. Perhaps it is the confidence in her voice, or maybe just how adorable she looks. Nevertheless, I cannot look away.

While munching on cookies she asked me and my best friend if we had any problems. "I am a very good problem solver," she said to us. "I helped the last few people with theirs. They said that their problems were really, really hard, but I solved them."

I seriously considered her question. Did I have any problems? Life problems? Relationship problems? Friendship problems?

I did not say anything right away, but eventually I cracked in the silence. What harm is there in talking to a 10 year old? I asked myself. I have nothing to lose. I only have innocence and wisdom to gain.

So out poured my so called problems and dilemmas, all of which had sat in my mind for days and days only to be turned and overturned and ignored in hopes that they would disappear on their own. I told her all about the stresses that I had of the future, the hurt that I felt from a love lost, and the confusion that I felt from a situation that was going south faster than I could keep up with.

She listened patiently (yet another thing I admired of this young one) and waited until I was completely finished talking. As I drew in another breath, I suddenly felt nervous. But why was I nervous? Why did I feel the anxiety that I did after I told a 10 year old all my fears and problems?

She blinked a couple times and drew in a breath of her own. "This is tricky," she mused, munching on yet another cookie. As she chewed she stared past me out the window. "I've never had a boyfriend before, but I think that this is something you need to tell him. Talk to him. You don't talk to him enough. Maybe he wants you to talk to him. Boys are weird like that. Girls have to do everything," she said, rolling her eyes.

With all the short bursts of words and sentences, I realized that everything she was saying was in fact correct. I was hiding. I was not talking or expressing how I felt. I was bottling up everything inside.

Didn't I post something on this last time? Yeah, I think I did. And here I am, still not understanding the picture.

After our conversation I felt more at ease and lighter, as if a huge weight was taken off my shoulders. This was something I could easily solve on my own, yet, I had to wait for someone else to tell me. Someone that was 10 years old.

This young girl had all the wisdom and patience I wish I had. I wish that I did not think so much and simplified things. I find that as I get older, I find bigger and better ways to over complicate things for myself, adding unnecessary stress and anxiety to my life.

Thinking back to my 10 year old self, I probably was not as graceful and poised as this girl, but I am thankful that I was able to spend time with one that was able to clear my mind and help me with my problems. I sincerely hope that we remember not to discount the young ones, because sometimes, the younger ones are the ones that are the wisest. I will miss this girl.

Take it easy everyone. Talk to some youngsters, take a breath and spill some ink while you're at it.