"The F Word"

So I know what you're thinking - "Why such a vulgar title?"

Hear me out on this one.

Recently I went to go watch the movie "The F Word", starring none other than Harry Potter himself (Daniel Radcliffe) and American actress Zoe Kazan. If you have not seen it or are planning to and have not yet found the time to, it is a charming movie that explores a topic that coincidentally I had been exploring and hoped to write a post about for nearly a month now.

Wallace (Radcliffe) and Chantry (Kazan) after their first meeting. (source)

To not give too much away, the movie follows Wallace (Radcliffe) and his "friendship" with Chantry (Kazan). Chantry has a boyfriend that, at first, does not scare Wallace because he only means to be friends with Chantry. Eventually the two of them show signs that they are falling in love with each other, and this movie touches on an interesting aspect of adolescent, young adult and quite possibly adult life: can guys and girls coexist with platonic relationships, or will there always be an underlying desire for the other?

We often hear of people dating their "best friend". Many times these best friend couples turn into engagements that turn into couples who are still madly in love with each other after 50 years. Of course, the logic here is simple: many of us would probably not last in a relationship that did not begin as a friendship. As I had learned from talking to other people for my last social experiment, "love takes time to grow in". It makes perfect sense that two people, who first start off as friends, could eventually find that they are in love with this friend. Should the affection be returned, this could be the start of a relationship.

However, we know perfectly well that just because we hang out with people of the opposite gender, that does not automatically deem us to be dating the other person. Talking to different people, the verdict is similar: guys and girls can hang out as friends. One person I talked to put it very clearly:

"It is possible for a relationship between a guy and a girl to lean anyway. They could both choose to'friend-zone' each other because their relationship is almost like a familial, brother-sister kind of love. They could both eventually fall in love with each other because they realize that what they have is more than just friendship. Not fairy tale love, but pure, selfless love. Or it could be split down the middle, where one wants to be more than just friends while the other feels that where they are is enough. It is different with every pairing, because each person is unique. Find a combination that works and you either have yourself the best friend you could ever ask for, or your future spouse."

Personally for me, I have heard my fair share of rumours go around about the people that I hang out with. I have seen that I do have a considerable amount of friends that are of the opposite gender. Obviously, some I may have an attraction for, some I may date and some I will just remain friends with. But I firmly believe that platonic relationships are possible. Things become a little confusing when selfish motives get in the way. If we root our friendships in holiness, humility and true love, then we will find the true meaning behind the relationships we forge, instead of trying to search for meaning behind smoke and mirrors.

Of course, not all of our friendships will be like Wallace's and Chantry's. Take heart, though, that God has something planned for you and someone to spend your life with. Look for true friends - ones that will help you to reach your goals and be the best person you can be and challenges you to help them as well as others. These relationships help us to learn more about the world, each other, and ultimately how God made the world to be.

And since school is starting up soon, I challenge all of you to make new friends. Keep the ones that you have, but never limit yourself. Platonic or romantic relationships aside, the first step into becoming friends is meeting people and stepping outside of yourself.

"Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honour." - Romans 12:10

So enjoy the rest of the long weekend! Rest up and get ready for new adventures and new friendships. Love one another with brotherly (and sisterly!) affection and spill more ink while you do.

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Thanks to all those that I talked to for this post! What are your thoughts on guy/girl friendships? Do you think that all friendships can last, or will possible feelings get in the way? Leave your thoughts in the comments below! Thanks for reading! x

God's Wicked Sense of Humour

Hello friends! I hope everyone has been keeping well in this (ahem) final week of summer.

Today was a fantastic day with a bit of a twist. I would like to think of it not as God bursting my bubble, but having a really twisted sense of humour. This is why:

Orientation for undergraduate Simon Fraser students occurred today at the Surrey Campus. In one week, SFU would become my new school for the next little while. I had been so excited for this day ever since an invitation came in the mail, inviting me to register. Many people know that SFU had been my first choice for post-secondary for, well, forever.This was a new chapter in my life, and I was excited, overjoyed and overwhelmed.

Of course, the nerves got to me too. This is where God's twisted sense of humour, and the test that came with it, came into play in my life today.

This morning was an early one, and I had lucked out with my mom giving me a ride as opposed to taking an early morning bus. As I was crossing the street, a woman in high heels ran behind me, her arms and bag flailing as she yelled into her phone. Evidently, she was late. I did not have time to ask her, but at that moment, she had bumped into me, sending my knees to lock and my foot hitting the curb. The next thing I knew, I found myself lying in the path of on coming traffic.

I watched her retreating figure with disbelief, and a kind lady helped me get up and out of the way of traffic. At that point, I realized three things:

1. My hand was bleeding and a big, scary mess.
2. I had not only scratched up one side of my leg, but my ankle was also bleeding in two places.
3. God had a wicked sense of humour.

Thanking the lady, I proceeded to walk through the doors of the building. I marched up to the security desk and asked for a first aid kit. At this point, I would like to give a shout out to the two security guards that attended to me as well as the first aid attendant. I got bandaged up and my hand was wrapped up so that the band-aid would stay in place.

So why do I tell you this?

Though this was an unfortunate start to the day and I had this constantly playing and replaying on my mind, I realized three more things:

1. The wrap on my hand made fantastic conversation starters (especially with cute boys! HAHA). I quickly became known to my new peers as "The girl who required first aid even before Welcome Day even started". Everyone wanted to know why my hand was wrapped in the way that it was.
2. I knew that despite this terrible start to the day, what mattered most was that I did not get seriously injured. Surface wounds hurt but do not take that much time to heal. A broken ankle or getting hit by a car, a little longer. Just a little.
3. Despite God's wicked sense of humour, I was not going to let something small like this ruin what turned out to be an amazing and fruitful day.

Many people also know that I was infamously burned at school one day. Every time I change my outfit, I laugh and am constantly reminded of how at one time, I was cursing God and the girl that burned me with her tea and my bad luck. Today, I look back on this nasty spill from a business women with poor time management with a sense of understanding.

They say that God has a plan for us, and everything that happens to us teaches us a lesson and is for a purpose. And okay, maybe this little fall on the road is very minuscule in God's eyes. Maybe it was not even in His plan and maybe, I really am ungraceful. But at the end of the day, I am okay. I got through the day (albeit slightly uncomfortably), but I did not let it ruin the day for me.

So often do we find ourselves in situations that disappoint us. This is so true for me, especially with the weather. I am notorious for complaining about the weather, especially when I have made plans with friends. My mom can attribute to the fact that I will constantly complain about rainy days. I learn now that we should never let little things like this get to us, or worse, get to us and ruin our days.

In his poem "To A Mouse", Robert Burns says, "The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry". Unfortunately, disappointment is a constant factor in our lives. God likes to throw curve balls our way, just to see how we would react. Know that the decision lies within YOU to enjoy the plans that you have made, whether or not they are perfect.

Of course, this is not to say that I would welcome twisting my ankle on my wedding day. However, I do know that we should always be prepared for anything. I am not saying that we should constantly be on guard and anticipate crazy business ladies pushing out of their ways, but be prepared. God has laid out a plan for us, and I am starting to realize that it is not as simple as a straight line towards Him. It requires climbing mountains, swimming across oceans and uneven terrain.

And with that I say, let us welcome each day with open arms. Do not fear what could happen, but embrace everything: the good, the bad, and even the ugly. I am not sure what scars will be left from today, but I will remember today: how I felt at the moment of impact, how I succeeded in having a fruitful day, and wondering if she ever made it to her meeting on time.

"'My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,' says the Lord. 'And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.'" - Isaiah 55:8-9

 In this last week of summer, and in the new journeys that many of my fellow classmates are embarking on, embrace the change. Embrace the new life with all ups and downs, triumphs and disappointments. Keep an open mind, seize the day, and spill more ink while you do.

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In case you are a bit confused, I wrote this Wednesday night so as to keep all my thoughts together and not forget them. I was not ready to post it at midnight though! Thanks for reading!

What is Love (At First Sight)?

So after nearly two and a half weeks of searching, reading and interviewing, I am happy to say that my research is complete! This is what happened:

I asked 3 males and 3 females from the ages of 13-21 to help me answer a simple question and give their two sense on why they chose the answer that they did. Before I get into what the question is, let me paint the scenario on how this came to be.

I started asking for interviewees right around the time that I heard this conversation. It was at Chapters, and I was looking for another poetry book. As I scoured the shelves trying to find this book, I heard giggling. It was loud and shrill, and though this was not a library, I could feel all eyes on these two teenage girls. With teenage girls, I have to say they were maybe 15, but of course it is so difficult to tell these days.

They each were holding a copy of John Green's The Fault in Our Stars and laughing madly. When their laughter subsided, one of them whispered, "What would it like to have a guy fall in love with you, knowing that you were the one for him? And he didn't need to look for anyone else. All he needed was to convince you that you were the one for him."

That touched me, just a little bit.

I grew up with the age of Disney princesses meeting their one true love, usually some guy with a good head of hair on a horse. They did not know it then, but by the end of the movie we all knew that Cinderella and the guy with the awesome shoulder pads were going to get married. In contrast, many chick flicks usually revolve around two people that maybe first hate each other, then eventually grow to love each other.

So which is the norm, and which is just pure fantasy?

This brings me to the simple question I wanted to ask all my interviewees:

"Do you believe in love at first sight?"

I asked all my interviewees to answer with yes or no, and then to substantiate further. Of course, there is no right or wrong answer. Some were quick to answer, while some pored for hours and hours. The verdict? 81% of the people do not believe in love at first sight, and here are some of the reasons why:

"Love at first sight is basically what it is; it's what you see" (F/14)

"There is such thing as infatuation at first sight, but I can't believe that people could fall in love with someone that they barely know" (M/16)

"People are difficult to figure out - you can never tell a person entirely at just a glimpse" (M/17)

"You need to be able to feel love and grow with it. It requires patience" (F/18)

"In 0.5 seconds, you can't know a person's past, baggage or life story" (M/19)

"First impressions can be really different from reality" (F/21)

While the majority voted against the possibility of love at first sight happening at all, there were some hopefuls: the rest of the interviewees (19%) believed that it was possible to fall for someone that they just met.

"When someone catches your attention, the feeling is hard to explain. You want to go after that person because you never know when you will see them again" (M/13)

"Try to make it work. First person, first impression" (M/15)

"There have been many people in my life that have experienced it, and I am willing to believe that it could happen to me" (F/16)

"Love at first sight happens on eye contact. We would both know it right away" (F/17)

"Blame it on romantic movies" (M/20)

It was interesting to see what people had to say and how that correlated to their age and gender. Going into this, I had a bias that males would definitely be against this whole idea of love at first sight. However, 25% of the boys believed that it was possible, while just 13% of girls believed that it was possible. Generally, most of those that said 'yes' were on the younger side, though there were a few exceptions.

While I was interviewing a 13 year old girl, we had a deep conversation about books and TV shows and movies. She was all for love at first sight, determined to find that one "movie moment" where she would meet the guy of her dreams. She thought about this in silence for a bit, and then turned the tables on me. "Do you believe in love at first sight?"

Though I had this question bouncing around in my mind, I never took the time to answer it internally. I thought and thought. I told her that eventually, I would get back to her. Today, I will get back to her:

For me, I am not entirely sure. Even in the movies, the people that eventually fall in love do not love each other at first sight. As mentioned above, they probably get annoyed with each other. Examples I can use are the main characters in "Letters to Juliet" or "27 Dresses". Even Hazel Grace did not feel Augustus Waters right away, even though he knew in his heart that she was the one.

Is it possible? Maybe. There are plenty of stories out there that suggest that love at first sight is possible, and I have talked to many people whose parents, grandparents or other relatives have met "the One" and stuck with them ever since. My personal experience with what people identify as "that slow motion moment" is plenty. I have met several guys that I have crushed on and eventually became just friends with, and others that I have eventually dated and still others that have later proven that they are nothing like what I thought they would be like. And of course, there are many that I will forever have undying feelings for, like Jimmy Fallon.

So back to those girls at Chapters. While the one girl was fantasizing of how she would meet the one person she would spend the rest of her life with, her friend asked her if she believed in love at first sight. She said yes and returned the question. "I'll believe it when I see it."

And maybe, that's all you really can do.

The Bible tells us that "love is patient [and] love is kind" (1 Corinthians 13:4). 27 Dresses taught me that:

(Source)

The journey of love, and I am beginning to learn, is more than just good looks and first impressions. It is how you grow with the person and how you learn to love them in return that makes it worthwhile and exciting. You learn so much from these experiences and gain new insight. And even though you may lose your mind once or twice, what is important is how you pick yourself up and get back onto both feet.

So love the ones you are with! Love the person in front of you, behind you and beside you and enjoy the moments you make. There is only one week of summer left (boo!), so make the most of it and spill more ink while you do.

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Thank you to all who let me steal a bit of their time so that I could talk to them for this article. I am truly blessed to have gained new insight from so many different people. x

"Genie, You're Free"

When I heard of Robin William's death, I was shocked. A man that has graced my generation with his humour and wit has been taken away from us. I can only believe that he is in a better place, a place with no suffering and no pain.

In many ways, the above quote sheds two different rays of light on not only Williams' passing but the stigma of depression and such mental health issues in our society today. On one hand, Williams is freed from his pain and suffering, from his depression, from his demons. On the other hand, his family will forever live with the grief that a husband and father has been lost. In grief, there seems to be no freedom. At the same time, in pain, there seems to be no freedom either.

People hearing of his death are divided on whether or not suicide is the "right" answer. It is a controversial topic, especially among people like myself who believe in the Catholic faith.

My feelings for this event, though I have never personally met Williams, is overwhelming. I think this may have to do with my own suffering, my own demons. Something that I have always tried to hide.

Personally, I would like to admit that yes, I have gone through depression. Yes, I have seen the darker side of my days and no, it was not easy to face. It is something hard to admit, especially to my family, because we believe in facing up to our problems. Toughening up. Finding help if you really need it. Never to give up.

And admittedly yes, I once found myself in my own despair because I did not want to face up to my own problems. I toughened up against people that were willing to help me. When I needed help, I refused it. And time and time again, I gave up.

I can tell you that not everyone's depression "experience" (if you could call it that) is the same. It is dependent on personal experience most of the time - how things affect you, how things hurt you. It is personal and cannot be generalized. The umbrella term of "depression" is actually more complex than it actually is.

For three and a half years, I found myself on the slippery slope of depression. It may have been my already anxious nature colliding with past experiences of bullying that something inside of me occurred.

There is no way to explain how I felt, other than to illustrate it. I would wake up on a sunny day but it seemed like I had my own personal rain cloud. It followed me like a shadow that I could never outrun. There was a hole in my heart that gradually got bigger and bigger. There was a pain that I could never explain, and I constantly tried to push it away. To my peers and teachers and family, I would try to pretend like nothing was wrong. Because in half of my mind, nothing was wrong. I was normal.

The thing with pain is, it demands to be felt. Pretending like nothing was wrong only worked sometimes. This resulted in non stop arguments, pushing people away, and hurting people in the process.

In the months that followed, an already over emotional teenage girl got thrown around even more because of this depression. I was actively pushing away help. At the height of it all, my family lost my grandfather. He had been sick for the longest time with dementia. The last time I saw him in person, he could not remember any of us. He could not remember my dad, his own son.

When my grandfather passed away, my emotions were heightened exponentially. Around the same time I had thought of suicide, to try and escape my own problems. I knew that in a Catholic family, this would not go down very well. Even though I knew it, I never stopped thinking about it. I could not shake the fact that God had given me something so dark to deal with.

To make a long story short, when I thought I had nowhere else to go, there were people following me every step of the way. There were people willing to give me a chance and willing to help me. I am so grateful for them - they listened and helped me. I received counselling for nearly two years. I found that I was good at talking about these things, and talking about it helped me to open up to people. It taught me to trust people again.

The result? I graduated, safe and sound. I have not had a suicidal thought in nearly a year and a half. I still have mood swings and days where I just want to stay at home, but above all, I guess you could say that I conquered the monster within.

 I hope that with this, people never have to think that what they are feeling is wrong. There are people ready to listen. Listen to each other, help each other out. Never belittle what another is feeling. We never know what is really going on in a person's mind - be open and accepting.

And to those going through the storms of life:

(From brokenthimble.tumblr.com)

Never forget the good things God has planned for you. Rest in peace, Robin Williams. You will be missed.

So carpe diem, my friends. Listen to one another, care for one another, and spill more ink while you do. I hope that we can destroy society's stigma on mental illness and create a society of caring and understanding.

Mom, Leave Me Alone!

I apologize for not posting in a while! It has been a stressful time, but I am happy to say that my piano exams are done and out of the way! The dream of achieving my Associate Degree with the Royal Conservatory of Music is a little bit closer now!

As a seasoned exam taker, the rules and protocol of the exams are nothing new to me. I am now a teenager, able to enter the exam room myself and do everything on my own. I go, I write, and I leave.

Yesterday, as I arrived to write my final exam, I waited patiently for sign in to begin. I said my prayers and read over my book. I found that I could not concentrate on either, as I was greeted by the loud noise of arguing. The arguing was getting closer and closer.

The arguing between this young Chinese boy, who was about 14 or 15, and his mother was hushed but intense. My Mandarin is terrible, but I could make out a couple words during their exchanged. Mostly, I was drawing from the frustration on both of their faces.

Finally, the boy lashed out in clear English:

"Mom, leave me alone! I'm old enough to do this myself. I don't need you."

This took me aback. As they continued to argue, sign in had begun. I had to shake off this experience and focus on my exam.

Now, me being 18, I obviously do not know anything about being a parent. I do, however, know everything about being a teenager. I know that teenagers want to be independent. They want to stand on their own two feet and usually are not too worried about consequences. We all live by similar mantras: "Ride or die"; "Carpe diem"; "Young, wild and free"; and of course, "You only live once".

But even as a teenager, I know that I would be nowhere without my parents. Granted, there are times where I wished that I would have more freedom than I have, but I realize that freedom is something that needs to be earned.

FREEDOM goes hand in hand with TRUST. 

The above situation may be a classic example of "helicopter parenting", which I must admit seems to very popular among Chinese families. Does the boy's mother not trust him enough, or is she just being overprotective? Is she being overprotective because he is worried that something could happen once she turns around? Or is that her way of showing that she loves him?

When does "love" become too overbearing?

I understand that the amount of freedom that I have goes hand in hand with the trust that I have built up between myself and my parents. What matters is not the quantity of freedom but what we choose to do within it. "Spreading my wings" to me does not include hard drinking and partying, and I hope my parents know that too.

Young ones, remember that the person you are is because of your parents. Parents, remember that you are allowed to let us fly once in a while. We get that we have major responsibilities in the world.  We want you to know that our goals in life is never to disappoint you or fail you. If anything, we want to make you proud.

Unfortunately I was not able to find out how the saga ends between the Chinese son and his mom, but I hope that they can strike a balance between themselves.

 

"Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord." - Colossians 3:20

 So show your parents that love! Hang out with them, tell them that you love them, and spill ink while you do.

Jeremiah 29:11

Allow me to be transparent for a short fraction of time,

But I'm scared for what is to come.

I know, I know, there is no use in worrying about what hasn't happened yet. The more we spend living in fear, the less we can truly live out our lives. We should go into the world with little fear and more excitement, more passion, than anything else. The unknown is great: it is vast and holds so many opportunities for us.

After meeting again with an academic adviser to discuss my plans (yet again) for the coming September, she pinned me down instantly (and we only met four times in person).

"Are you a natural worrier?"
"What are you worried about?"
"Is it because you don't trust yourself?"
"When is a time when you have no worries at all?"
"What can you do to ease your worrying?"

These are all questions she asked, all questions I have pondered over the past 24 hours and quite frankly, questions that I have even gone to the extent of worrying about.

So to answer all the above,

- I am a natural worrier. Though I would like to deny it, I am a worrier. I am also a perfectionist, and I think that is why I am always so worried about everything, from school to how I am perceived to my future. I would not go as far as to say that I am obsessive compulsive, but I would say that I get anxiety quite easily. The past two years have been a time of renewal and a time of change. I have started to let go of the fact that sometimes, I have done my best and that is all that matters. With that comes the anxiety that my best is not good enough. I get worried, I get anxious, and I am trying to ease off on myself and the world around me. Let me tell you firsthand, anxiety is not pretty and to put it plainly, it sucks. Now I know that many people tell me that anxiety is a "me" thing and that I am the only one standing between my struggle and my freedom... I suppose that is very true, but at the same time, I cannot seem to help it.

- What do I get worried about? Various things - What is university going to be like next year? How am I going to cope with the work load? Will I make new friends? Will I make it through exams? Will I make it through the next 4-5 years?
These are immediate worries. There is also the worry about keeping friends close. The worry that some friends are making choices that could affect their lives in negative ways. I worry for my family. I worry for my health and the health of my family. Admittedly, I worry for the ones that steal my heart. I worry for things that have not happened yet and quite possibly, might never happen.

- I feel that I have a certain amount of trust for myself. Don't get me wrong, I respect myself wholly, but respect and trust are different in my mind. I feel that to compensate for errors and failings of the past, there is an amount of accountability I have to hold myself to.

- Is there ever a time when I am never worried? Probably when I am asleep. Even now during summer vacation, my anxiety goes up in preparation for what is to come. I would say that I am always worrying about something, but the level and amount differs from day to day, month to month, year to year.

- To be quite honest, I am terrible at finding time for myself. "Time for myself" typically is time spent procrastinating. Sometimes when I want to be eventful and I have something on my mind, I write in my journal and of course, try to write something inspirational here. I like to play the piano and relax with my family, but many times worrying sends me to the corners of my room, trying to figure out why I am so worried and what I can do to get over it.

So I should not be one to talk, but I wish nothing but happiness and calm for you all. I would like to challenge everyone, myself included, to put aside the worrying in our lives, especially worries about the future. We should enter each day with open arms and a trust that God has plans for us:

"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.'"

- Jeremiah 29:11

 And if that is all there is to it, then maybe it is worth giving up our worrying and putting our trust in God.

What is one thing that you are worried about right now in this stage of your life? Whatever it is, big or small, offer it up to God, and then, put it aside. Do what you can do for today, and when the time comes, do what you can do for that particularly worry. You may find that by that time, the worry has passed.

So enjoy summer! I hate to break it to you all, but we are halfway through July, which is insane. Take time to relax, put your worries aside and spill ink while you do.

A Girl Twice Her Age

12 years old

Have you ever noticed how much older girls are trying to look?

When I was 12 years old, I think that the extent of my knowledge of the human anatomy was really, really limited. I stuck to watching Lizzie McGuire (before Family channel got weird and cancelled on my TV) and thought that the only way to meet cute boys was to sneak out of the house and go to a really dim coffee house to "study".. and for the record, Ethan Craft was not even that cute! I wore clothes from Old Navy and Wal-Mart - "Forever 21" and "H&M" was not in my fashion vocabulary.

But then you look at 12 year old girls now, and the difference is startling. Not just in the TV shows that they watch, or the clothes that they wear, but their massive knowledge of everything, their familiarity with social media, and in general, how much older they look.

The other day I was at Target picking up a box of hair dye. A rule in my house was that I was not allowed to touch my hair with colour until I graduate, and even when I did graduate, it had to be a natural colour. So while my dreams of having dark purple hair was crushed, I was still quite excited to go choose a new colour for my hair.

While I was browsing the aisles, I came across a girl, about 11 or 12 (but as mentioned above, they look way older than they should), throwing a temper tantrum. Her mom was rolling her eyes and trying not to argue, but everyone around could tell that she was upset and wanted her daughter to stop acting childish.

This girl was wearing a crop top that I had seen in Forever 21 and super short, acid wash jean shorts. They are shorts where the pockets hang out from underneath. She had over the knee socks (sheer black, of course) and was wearing a pair of Converse. The most staggering thing about her appearance was her bright red, Ariana Grande trademark hair. She was holding a box of blonde hair dye, and from the looks of her temper tantrum, it looks like Ariana Grande was not turning blonde any time soon.

Despite the fact that this girl had the ability to change her hair way, way before I did, I'm sure she also got a phone before I did (I saw that fall out of her pocket while she threw the tantrum), and on that phone she probably texts boys, Snapchats, tweets and updates her Facebook status. She probably goes to the mall with her friends and Instagrams her Starbucks and takes shameless bathroom selfies...

...All things that admittedly, I have done once or twice at my ripe old age of 18.

But it is quite scary to me, to think that girls today are growing up in this massive mess of a world. Girls are expected to look a certain way, eat certain food and be up and ready to date by 14.

Going back to the Lizzie McGuire example, I am more than certain that Lizzie and her friends were 13 during the show. Was I this boy crazy at 13? Was I allowed to go out to the mall by myself or with my friends? Could I hang out with a boy?

To all the above, the answer is no.

Nowadays, I see girls half my age ordering frappucinos and watching movies like recent release "The Fault in Our Stars". As I walked out of the theater, very young girls (10? 9?) rushed out with their moms, drooling over Augustus Waters and asking their moms where they will find their own Augustus Waters.

Really? 

At 18

It is incorrect to ask if these girls understand the context of the movie and what is happening, because chances are, they do. Due to social media and Internet being so widely used and easily accessed, information can be found everywhere. If (spoiler alert) I saw that scene of Hazel and Gus rushing into the room at 10 years old, I would have thought that they were just having an innocent, co-ed slumber party. But at 18, we all know what is really happening. The unfortunate thing is that girls as young as 10 probably have the same understanding of the scene as I do now, and I am nearly double their age.

Furthermore, if girls have the same knowledge and understanding of something so mature, then that also means that they are vulnerable to more mature thoughts as opposed to carefree thoughts. I started really caring about how I looked when I entered high school, and looking back on old photos, I cringe at how I looked and what I wore. But young girls today are constantly bombarded with lingerie ads with skinny models, and in turn, 13 year-olds try to strive for the unattainable excellence of a Photoshopped body. Girls are starting to develop at younger ages, and more young girls are starting to have depression, anxiety, OCD and anorexia and bulimia.

These girls are aging faster than their time!

It scares me that young girls (my younger sisters included) are learning more and more about the world than they should at certain ages and not fully understanding what it all means. I am worried that my sisters and their friends are too consumed by what society wants then what they want. I am worried that in time to come, "childhood innocence" will cease to exist.

Take care of your daughters and sisters. Expose them to the sunshine and the world beyond the computer screen. Instead of Tumblr sunsets, offer them a real one. Let them know that there is a Prince Charming out there, but you will not find him on Facebook (because that's creepy). Show them that their body is enough, and it is pretty amazing regardless of shape. Remind them that they are loved, regardless of how much they now and what mistakes they have made.

I hope that the solution to this rising pandemic is to unplug and spending quality time with one another. 

So turn off your phones and relax. Talk in person, love the young girls in your life and spill ink while you do.

x R