"Genie, You're Free"

When I heard of Robin William's death, I was shocked. A man that has graced my generation with his humour and wit has been taken away from us. I can only believe that he is in a better place, a place with no suffering and no pain.

In many ways, the above quote sheds two different rays of light on not only Williams' passing but the stigma of depression and such mental health issues in our society today. On one hand, Williams is freed from his pain and suffering, from his depression, from his demons. On the other hand, his family will forever live with the grief that a husband and father has been lost. In grief, there seems to be no freedom. At the same time, in pain, there seems to be no freedom either.

People hearing of his death are divided on whether or not suicide is the "right" answer. It is a controversial topic, especially among people like myself who believe in the Catholic faith.

My feelings for this event, though I have never personally met Williams, is overwhelming. I think this may have to do with my own suffering, my own demons. Something that I have always tried to hide.

Personally, I would like to admit that yes, I have gone through depression. Yes, I have seen the darker side of my days and no, it was not easy to face. It is something hard to admit, especially to my family, because we believe in facing up to our problems. Toughening up. Finding help if you really need it. Never to give up.

And admittedly yes, I once found myself in my own despair because I did not want to face up to my own problems. I toughened up against people that were willing to help me. When I needed help, I refused it. And time and time again, I gave up.

I can tell you that not everyone's depression "experience" (if you could call it that) is the same. It is dependent on personal experience most of the time - how things affect you, how things hurt you. It is personal and cannot be generalized. The umbrella term of "depression" is actually more complex than it actually is.

For three and a half years, I found myself on the slippery slope of depression. It may have been my already anxious nature colliding with past experiences of bullying that something inside of me occurred.

There is no way to explain how I felt, other than to illustrate it. I would wake up on a sunny day but it seemed like I had my own personal rain cloud. It followed me like a shadow that I could never outrun. There was a hole in my heart that gradually got bigger and bigger. There was a pain that I could never explain, and I constantly tried to push it away. To my peers and teachers and family, I would try to pretend like nothing was wrong. Because in half of my mind, nothing was wrong. I was normal.

The thing with pain is, it demands to be felt. Pretending like nothing was wrong only worked sometimes. This resulted in non stop arguments, pushing people away, and hurting people in the process.

In the months that followed, an already over emotional teenage girl got thrown around even more because of this depression. I was actively pushing away help. At the height of it all, my family lost my grandfather. He had been sick for the longest time with dementia. The last time I saw him in person, he could not remember any of us. He could not remember my dad, his own son.

When my grandfather passed away, my emotions were heightened exponentially. Around the same time I had thought of suicide, to try and escape my own problems. I knew that in a Catholic family, this would not go down very well. Even though I knew it, I never stopped thinking about it. I could not shake the fact that God had given me something so dark to deal with.

To make a long story short, when I thought I had nowhere else to go, there were people following me every step of the way. There were people willing to give me a chance and willing to help me. I am so grateful for them - they listened and helped me. I received counselling for nearly two years. I found that I was good at talking about these things, and talking about it helped me to open up to people. It taught me to trust people again.

The result? I graduated, safe and sound. I have not had a suicidal thought in nearly a year and a half. I still have mood swings and days where I just want to stay at home, but above all, I guess you could say that I conquered the monster within.

 I hope that with this, people never have to think that what they are feeling is wrong. There are people ready to listen. Listen to each other, help each other out. Never belittle what another is feeling. We never know what is really going on in a person's mind - be open and accepting.

And to those going through the storms of life:

(From brokenthimble.tumblr.com)

Never forget the good things God has planned for you. Rest in peace, Robin Williams. You will be missed.

So carpe diem, my friends. Listen to one another, care for one another, and spill more ink while you do. I hope that we can destroy society's stigma on mental illness and create a society of caring and understanding.

Mom, Leave Me Alone!

I apologize for not posting in a while! It has been a stressful time, but I am happy to say that my piano exams are done and out of the way! The dream of achieving my Associate Degree with the Royal Conservatory of Music is a little bit closer now!

As a seasoned exam taker, the rules and protocol of the exams are nothing new to me. I am now a teenager, able to enter the exam room myself and do everything on my own. I go, I write, and I leave.

Yesterday, as I arrived to write my final exam, I waited patiently for sign in to begin. I said my prayers and read over my book. I found that I could not concentrate on either, as I was greeted by the loud noise of arguing. The arguing was getting closer and closer.

The arguing between this young Chinese boy, who was about 14 or 15, and his mother was hushed but intense. My Mandarin is terrible, but I could make out a couple words during their exchanged. Mostly, I was drawing from the frustration on both of their faces.

Finally, the boy lashed out in clear English:

"Mom, leave me alone! I'm old enough to do this myself. I don't need you."

This took me aback. As they continued to argue, sign in had begun. I had to shake off this experience and focus on my exam.

Now, me being 18, I obviously do not know anything about being a parent. I do, however, know everything about being a teenager. I know that teenagers want to be independent. They want to stand on their own two feet and usually are not too worried about consequences. We all live by similar mantras: "Ride or die"; "Carpe diem"; "Young, wild and free"; and of course, "You only live once".

But even as a teenager, I know that I would be nowhere without my parents. Granted, there are times where I wished that I would have more freedom than I have, but I realize that freedom is something that needs to be earned.

FREEDOM goes hand in hand with TRUST. 

The above situation may be a classic example of "helicopter parenting", which I must admit seems to very popular among Chinese families. Does the boy's mother not trust him enough, or is she just being overprotective? Is she being overprotective because he is worried that something could happen once she turns around? Or is that her way of showing that she loves him?

When does "love" become too overbearing?

I understand that the amount of freedom that I have goes hand in hand with the trust that I have built up between myself and my parents. What matters is not the quantity of freedom but what we choose to do within it. "Spreading my wings" to me does not include hard drinking and partying, and I hope my parents know that too.

Young ones, remember that the person you are is because of your parents. Parents, remember that you are allowed to let us fly once in a while. We get that we have major responsibilities in the world.  We want you to know that our goals in life is never to disappoint you or fail you. If anything, we want to make you proud.

Unfortunately I was not able to find out how the saga ends between the Chinese son and his mom, but I hope that they can strike a balance between themselves.

 

"Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord." - Colossians 3:20

 So show your parents that love! Hang out with them, tell them that you love them, and spill ink while you do.

Jeremiah 29:11

Allow me to be transparent for a short fraction of time,

But I'm scared for what is to come.

I know, I know, there is no use in worrying about what hasn't happened yet. The more we spend living in fear, the less we can truly live out our lives. We should go into the world with little fear and more excitement, more passion, than anything else. The unknown is great: it is vast and holds so many opportunities for us.

After meeting again with an academic adviser to discuss my plans (yet again) for the coming September, she pinned me down instantly (and we only met four times in person).

"Are you a natural worrier?"
"What are you worried about?"
"Is it because you don't trust yourself?"
"When is a time when you have no worries at all?"
"What can you do to ease your worrying?"

These are all questions she asked, all questions I have pondered over the past 24 hours and quite frankly, questions that I have even gone to the extent of worrying about.

So to answer all the above,

- I am a natural worrier. Though I would like to deny it, I am a worrier. I am also a perfectionist, and I think that is why I am always so worried about everything, from school to how I am perceived to my future. I would not go as far as to say that I am obsessive compulsive, but I would say that I get anxiety quite easily. The past two years have been a time of renewal and a time of change. I have started to let go of the fact that sometimes, I have done my best and that is all that matters. With that comes the anxiety that my best is not good enough. I get worried, I get anxious, and I am trying to ease off on myself and the world around me. Let me tell you firsthand, anxiety is not pretty and to put it plainly, it sucks. Now I know that many people tell me that anxiety is a "me" thing and that I am the only one standing between my struggle and my freedom... I suppose that is very true, but at the same time, I cannot seem to help it.

- What do I get worried about? Various things - What is university going to be like next year? How am I going to cope with the work load? Will I make new friends? Will I make it through exams? Will I make it through the next 4-5 years?
These are immediate worries. There is also the worry about keeping friends close. The worry that some friends are making choices that could affect their lives in negative ways. I worry for my family. I worry for my health and the health of my family. Admittedly, I worry for the ones that steal my heart. I worry for things that have not happened yet and quite possibly, might never happen.

- I feel that I have a certain amount of trust for myself. Don't get me wrong, I respect myself wholly, but respect and trust are different in my mind. I feel that to compensate for errors and failings of the past, there is an amount of accountability I have to hold myself to.

- Is there ever a time when I am never worried? Probably when I am asleep. Even now during summer vacation, my anxiety goes up in preparation for what is to come. I would say that I am always worrying about something, but the level and amount differs from day to day, month to month, year to year.

- To be quite honest, I am terrible at finding time for myself. "Time for myself" typically is time spent procrastinating. Sometimes when I want to be eventful and I have something on my mind, I write in my journal and of course, try to write something inspirational here. I like to play the piano and relax with my family, but many times worrying sends me to the corners of my room, trying to figure out why I am so worried and what I can do to get over it.

So I should not be one to talk, but I wish nothing but happiness and calm for you all. I would like to challenge everyone, myself included, to put aside the worrying in our lives, especially worries about the future. We should enter each day with open arms and a trust that God has plans for us:

"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.'"

- Jeremiah 29:11

 And if that is all there is to it, then maybe it is worth giving up our worrying and putting our trust in God.

What is one thing that you are worried about right now in this stage of your life? Whatever it is, big or small, offer it up to God, and then, put it aside. Do what you can do for today, and when the time comes, do what you can do for that particularly worry. You may find that by that time, the worry has passed.

So enjoy summer! I hate to break it to you all, but we are halfway through July, which is insane. Take time to relax, put your worries aside and spill ink while you do.

A Girl Twice Her Age

12 years old

Have you ever noticed how much older girls are trying to look?

When I was 12 years old, I think that the extent of my knowledge of the human anatomy was really, really limited. I stuck to watching Lizzie McGuire (before Family channel got weird and cancelled on my TV) and thought that the only way to meet cute boys was to sneak out of the house and go to a really dim coffee house to "study".. and for the record, Ethan Craft was not even that cute! I wore clothes from Old Navy and Wal-Mart - "Forever 21" and "H&M" was not in my fashion vocabulary.

But then you look at 12 year old girls now, and the difference is startling. Not just in the TV shows that they watch, or the clothes that they wear, but their massive knowledge of everything, their familiarity with social media, and in general, how much older they look.

The other day I was at Target picking up a box of hair dye. A rule in my house was that I was not allowed to touch my hair with colour until I graduate, and even when I did graduate, it had to be a natural colour. So while my dreams of having dark purple hair was crushed, I was still quite excited to go choose a new colour for my hair.

While I was browsing the aisles, I came across a girl, about 11 or 12 (but as mentioned above, they look way older than they should), throwing a temper tantrum. Her mom was rolling her eyes and trying not to argue, but everyone around could tell that she was upset and wanted her daughter to stop acting childish.

This girl was wearing a crop top that I had seen in Forever 21 and super short, acid wash jean shorts. They are shorts where the pockets hang out from underneath. She had over the knee socks (sheer black, of course) and was wearing a pair of Converse. The most staggering thing about her appearance was her bright red, Ariana Grande trademark hair. She was holding a box of blonde hair dye, and from the looks of her temper tantrum, it looks like Ariana Grande was not turning blonde any time soon.

Despite the fact that this girl had the ability to change her hair way, way before I did, I'm sure she also got a phone before I did (I saw that fall out of her pocket while she threw the tantrum), and on that phone she probably texts boys, Snapchats, tweets and updates her Facebook status. She probably goes to the mall with her friends and Instagrams her Starbucks and takes shameless bathroom selfies...

...All things that admittedly, I have done once or twice at my ripe old age of 18.

But it is quite scary to me, to think that girls today are growing up in this massive mess of a world. Girls are expected to look a certain way, eat certain food and be up and ready to date by 14.

Going back to the Lizzie McGuire example, I am more than certain that Lizzie and her friends were 13 during the show. Was I this boy crazy at 13? Was I allowed to go out to the mall by myself or with my friends? Could I hang out with a boy?

To all the above, the answer is no.

Nowadays, I see girls half my age ordering frappucinos and watching movies like recent release "The Fault in Our Stars". As I walked out of the theater, very young girls (10? 9?) rushed out with their moms, drooling over Augustus Waters and asking their moms where they will find their own Augustus Waters.

Really? 

At 18

It is incorrect to ask if these girls understand the context of the movie and what is happening, because chances are, they do. Due to social media and Internet being so widely used and easily accessed, information can be found everywhere. If (spoiler alert) I saw that scene of Hazel and Gus rushing into the room at 10 years old, I would have thought that they were just having an innocent, co-ed slumber party. But at 18, we all know what is really happening. The unfortunate thing is that girls as young as 10 probably have the same understanding of the scene as I do now, and I am nearly double their age.

Furthermore, if girls have the same knowledge and understanding of something so mature, then that also means that they are vulnerable to more mature thoughts as opposed to carefree thoughts. I started really caring about how I looked when I entered high school, and looking back on old photos, I cringe at how I looked and what I wore. But young girls today are constantly bombarded with lingerie ads with skinny models, and in turn, 13 year-olds try to strive for the unattainable excellence of a Photoshopped body. Girls are starting to develop at younger ages, and more young girls are starting to have depression, anxiety, OCD and anorexia and bulimia.

These girls are aging faster than their time!

It scares me that young girls (my younger sisters included) are learning more and more about the world than they should at certain ages and not fully understanding what it all means. I am worried that my sisters and their friends are too consumed by what society wants then what they want. I am worried that in time to come, "childhood innocence" will cease to exist.

Take care of your daughters and sisters. Expose them to the sunshine and the world beyond the computer screen. Instead of Tumblr sunsets, offer them a real one. Let them know that there is a Prince Charming out there, but you will not find him on Facebook (because that's creepy). Show them that their body is enough, and it is pretty amazing regardless of shape. Remind them that they are loved, regardless of how much they now and what mistakes they have made.

I hope that the solution to this rising pandemic is to unplug and spending quality time with one another. 

So turn off your phones and relax. Talk in person, love the young girls in your life and spill ink while you do.

x R

To the Future Boys That May Become Future Brothers-in-Laws,

Ah, young love. I love it, I hate it, and admittedly I find myself to be jealous of those who are successful with "young love".

I just came to terms with the inner battle of my own "young love" that maybe, I am still too young to understand what love is. All the same, I wonder sometimes how girls that are younger than I am have the strength to carry out long lasting relationships. Is it because maybe they know something more about love than I do? Are they just naive and evasive of potential problems? Or maybe.. they have found their soul mate at the  ever young age of 12 years old?

How do you find true love at 12 years old?

It's weird being the oldest and seeing my younger sisters interact with boys. I'm going to be really frank, we all talk about a lot of different things. What we never talk about is our love life (read: my love life. Or possibly Eleanor's.) You may be marveling at this title that I have chosen for this post. Clearly, my sisters (and myself, for that matter) are a long ways off from finding a soul mate and husband to spend the rest of our lives with. I'm not sure how I will react to seeing them holding hands with (gasp) a boy, but here's a letter of affection to whoever may choose to pursue either one of my lovely sisters:

To the Future Boys That May Become Future Brothers-in-Laws,

First off, seeing my sister texting you, holding hands with you and going places with you makes me cringe just a bit - not because I dislike you, but because I'm trying to figure out where all the time went, and if this is actually reality. As strange as this sensation is to me, I'm trying my best to come to terms with the fact that she is growing up and I was once like her.

So take care of her - tell her that she is special and beautiful. Take her out on dates - plan them and surprise her. Let her take charge and surprise you. Be spontaneous and discover new things and new places together. Make memories with her.

Don't hide things from her - honesty and trust are two major pillars in a relationship. If you can't be upfront with her, ask yourself why. Are you afraid that she will judge you? Are you hiding something that you aren't proud of? Do you think that you can just 'sweep it under the rug' because it doesn't matter? If you are hiding something, then maybe it does. Be honest - the less you hide, the easier if is for her to confide in you.

Communicate with her - tell her how you are feeling about certain things. There is no need to lie about how you feel - a true lady and gentleman respects their love's feelings.If you can't see her in person, text or call her. Let her know that you are alive (please) and that you are still thinking about her.

Respect her - remember that a relationship is a two way street. If you both respect each other's wishes and feelings, the relationship will go a long way. No means no, and if you can't understand that, then you best be moving on until you do.

Respect her family - This is key, my friend. As her family, we aren't going to bite you or hurt you. We just want what is best for our sister. My parents want someone that will respect them and take care of her. So talk to us, get to know us and spend time with us - if you really want to marry my sister, the reality is, you'll be marrying us too.

Understand her - understand who she is, what she loves to do and where she has come from. Try to read between the lines of the story of her life and help her to heal the wounds of the past and build memories for the future.

Most importantly, LOVE her and PRAY her - if you really love my sister, please do all of these things. Pray for her - her dreams, her hopes and her struggles. Pray for her family. Pray for her well being and that she will be able to follow in God's path of righteousness. With God on your side, your relationship will flourish. Take pride in knowing that "If God is for you, who can be against you?" (Romans 8:31).

So love her unconditionally and make God the focus of your relationship. With all these things, I hope to call you my brother-in-law....many years down the road, of course!

Rachel

^^ And I think all of this is my hurt speaking, but hey, at least now I know what I need to look for in a potential husband.

So live out and love mightily, keep God as your focus and of course, spill ink while you do.

My [Real] Grad Write Up

Remember that puny space that we had to sum up our high school experiences?

HA.

It was honestly such a struggle to pour all my memories into 100 words, and I promised myself that I would do a more concise and better job. Now that the year is actually over (and I'm not writing my grad write up halfway through senior year!), I thought I would take this opportunity to write my "real" grad write up.

~~~~
It is with great fondness that I write this. How five years has passed so quickly, I cannot even begin to comprehend. I still have the horrid image of my first entrance into the gym on my very first day of high school. Pushing past the teal doors (which by the way, after five years in being in this school, why are the lockers and doors TEAL? Why not RED?), I came face to face with a massive crowd of people called Holy Cross Crusaders, both old and new. My kilt was just at my knee at that point and I tugged on my basically non-existent short hair in nervousness. I suddenly wanted my old life back where my class was thirty students and not five times the size of that. I wanted to go back to the days where my class ran the school, an we were taller than everyone else.

But here I was, at the bottom of the chain and beginning this new journey called high school.

As time went on, I began to foster incredible relationships with people from all different backgrounds and life stories. I was fortunate to have met these people who have walked into my life and left their hand prints on my heart over the years. I was able to work with some of the coolest teachers around and learned beyond what can be taught in text books. Together, these people made my high school experience what it was and for that I am truly blessed and honoured to have shared it with them all.

The memories that I have made within the confines of the school, as well as outside, are great in number and will always be treasured. From band trips to field trips, from classroom antics to memories with best friends, where do I even begin to recount them? I will always remember all my music trips - Edmonton, New Orleans, Banff and Hawaii - for being trips where I have really geeked out musically and was able to share the experience with other fantastic musicians. The trip to the Philippines as part of the Mission Team this year was another amazing experience. Seeing another part of the world and being able to help the people that lived there was such a blessing. I will never forget the smiles on these peoples' faces and how thankful they were - something that I must grow to learn and understand. Field trips like March for Life, the writing field trip, the aquarium... the list is endless and the memories go above and beyond these. It always brings smiles back to my face whenever I look on old pictures of past trips. And of course, the never ending inside jokes and antics that occur in the classroom are endless and I laugh every time I think of a certain class or people or even things that people say. It is something that you don't get in elementary school, this dynamic, and it's also something that I don't think I will experience in the future, so I'm going to miss it.

Of course, this is not to say that there wasn't any sort of struggle in my high school life. There were many low points, and one of the biggest was losing both of my grandparents during high school. There were fights and arguments and obviously a lot of drama, but who can blame teenagers for drama? It's bound to happen, and I can say with confidence that I didn't have to deal with as much, so for that I am grateful. Struggles that happen in life form character and help people get stronger. My biggest mountain to climb during my high school journey was my battle with depression. It comes as a major shock to people that this was indeed a major part of my life, but people act in different ways and never want to look weak. This has never been truer for me, and because of that, I think that is where my problem lay. I was always so consumed in trying to be the stronger person, never letting my weakness and pain show. Because of hiding and waiting for so long to seek help, I was consumed in my own pain and violence, leading to a whole other host of issues. I am happy to say that as of now, I'm nearly if not fully recovered. I get that strength is not hiding but finding help, and I am so thankful for the people that have been my support system on my worst days. You guys rock. Never be afraid to find help for anything.

The best part about high school was definitely the people, as mentioned above. I would like to give many, many shout outs:
- Firstly, big, big thank you to my girls, my limo crew. At a time when I had nowhere else to go, my girls took me in and included me, never judging and always believing in me. I love you all - Abby, Erica, Jessica, Sarah, Emily M, Megan, Mia, and Alessandra.

- To all my locker neighbours (and I remember all of you!) - Austin, Kielle, Nick TV, Aldrin and Reiner - Thank you for putting up with my constant antics and my never shutting up, my locker problems and all the times when I was being a melodramatic Asian chick. I am so blessed to have had you guys as locker buddies!

- To the boys crew, JT, John P, Philip S, John A, Martin - you guys make me laugh so much. I have never shed so many tears from laughter and it's because I have had the honour to have known you. Thanks for always being there for me, ready to listen and beat people up for me and overall, being protective of me. Y'all are my brothers and I love you all immensely.

- My homie and fellow Chinese buddy, Eugene! Dude, thank God we were in math class together. As if you needed it, but thank God or else I wouldn't have passed Pre Calc 11 the way I did. We had so many memories together. Thanks for always being there to help me with anything and everything, sharing all your wisdom and all the youtube videos in the world. SFU, here we come!

- My girl, Emily Junk - thank you for being the best band buddy in the world! I don't know how you were able to put up with sitting next to me for 4 years, but at least you don't have to any more! And of course, the band trips (um, New Orleans? Bubba Gump? BITTANTE?!) and French class (SALUT-LA!). I'm going to miss seeing you every day. Who can I fangirl with at SFU? ooh, and btw Australia 2016, we're going to make it happen! Love you girly <3

- Band class - I just love you guys. There really are no words to sum up my love for everyone that is in that class. <3 <3 <3 #dad #cabscalves Also, to my music leadership family - Clarence, Regi, Gianne, Kyle, Pamela.. you guys rock. I am so blessed to have had the opportunity to work with you all. Wings round two one day :)
Shout out to my other favourite roomie Chelsea for all the good times, the weird talks, ab work outs and fangirling. Much love to the boys that I have gotten to know through band - Bouvier, Zach, Sam and Sam, Mark and Vaanyi. I'm going to miss you guys <3

- To the girls that I would like to affectionately call the pretty amazing ladies - Genie, Marinelle, Samantha P, Jenny, Jaia and Alanna - I'm glad that we all got so close this year. I'm going to miss seeing all of you on a daily basis. Genie and Marinelle, we go back super far (ERM, and Marinelle, I think I remember who my 'affaired' love is..). Alanna, Socials 8, enough said (thanks for contending with my endless emotions over the carrot top). Jenny, UGH GRAD COMMITTEE. Thanks for being my comrade there and just your neverending support and hard work. Samantha, why did we take French 12 again? Homeroom buddies and of course, now we've conquered what we thought was the impossible. Jaia, your beautiful singing voice I'm going to miss the most! Partying in Tang's car and talking with you during the retreat. Keep in touch, all you! :) I'm going to miss you guys!

- My spirit animal Kielle - what would I do without you? Even though we both still argue about how and when we met (although I'm almost guaranteed its grade 9 because of our lockers), you never fail to amaze me with how strong you are. Thank you for always being there for me to give me a pep talk and to listen to me rant and bash or fangirl and just be over the top with useless love. I will never forget you and I'm going to miss seeing you every day. You are such a beautiful person and I love you. Let's hang out this summer? :)

- To my partner in crime, Kenneth - that fateful day, the day we never stop talking about, has made us best friends for life. I am so thankful to have known you. All the time we spent talking, all the Starbucks consumed and all the endless laughs have been a blast. Throwback especially to the mission trip when we would stay out on that staircase and just talk philosophically. Life won't be the same without you, and of course I wish you all the best in your future. Don't stay a stranger - maybe one day I will rely on you when I make that trip out to Dubai! :)

- All the grade 11s - you are literally my favourite grade. I'm going to miss you guys :(
Special mention to Cielo, all the memories in choir and lunch time, and of course the OLGC days..
Elaine, you amazing girl. Don't burn yourself out too much, kay? The foodie adventures will continue, not to worry!
The lunchtime crew - Kevin and Sophia - thank you for sharing your humble abode with me and taking me in because literally, I have no friends LOL
Donovan and Vikaram, you two are the best and are so freaking huge. Ihop for days! We will hang out and I will come back to visit. I love you two.
Rebecca - my locker neighbour! I'm going to miss you! Thanks for putting up with me for so long, and of course, choir...
- James and Jyle - you both have a weird relationship. James, I hope you get that girlfriend that you have always wanted. Jyle, get some rest. You're always tired. I'm going to miss both of you.
- Jayson - YOUR POEM THOUGH. I guess this would be an appropriate time to say that I always thought you were cute WHAT lol
Ashley - I miss our morning talks, and I'm going to miss them even more now that we're going to be in separate places. Stay classy and sassy :)
Myka - Thanks for all the memories in the Philippines! I would say hit me up if you ever need help in French, but I guess you're kinda done with it! Have fun in Africa!
Talia- THE COOKIES
Laura - Dictator Laura! Run that music program with sass!
Sarah Chan - my other chinese friend - we will street race. and then go for dim sum. LOL

- Diego, as I have written, in your yearbook, thank you for everything: all the laughs and good times. Thanks for grade 9. I still remember us and everything that we have been through and I loved every minute of it. Stay in touch and thank you for being such an amazing friend to me<3

- Last but definitely not least, Mateo: Where do I begin? I think I have said everything that I needed to on that virgin page of yours, so I'll make this brief - thank you for the past 13 years. From me being taller than you to you (sigh) being taller than me, we have shared so many good times throughout the years. I can't thank you enough for your support and your always being there for me, even when I was being stupid and irritable. You never ceased to support me and through it all, I am so grateful. Thank you also for 6 beautiful months, for the Philippines, for grad and everything in between. I love you. BCIT isn't that far... expect to see me in the future :) <3

- To my grad class, I wouldn't want to graduate with anyone else. Stay true and hope to see you all again in 10 years or less!

- All those that I have met over the years - older than me, younger than me, thanks for leaving your imprint on my heart and being my friend.

Here's to grad 14 - may your futures be bright, your journeys amazing and your time on this earth fruitful. I can't wait to see what the future holds for all of us. Until next time, take care, God bless, and never stop spilling that ink .

xiv for life baby! Thanks for everything!

Here's to Grad 14

There is so much joy in my heart, coming from the depths of my soul and exploding before me in waves of pure euphoria.

Despite the trials, the tribulations, the suffering and pain, God has given me the power to divide, conquer and pull through, and here we are, after grad, and I have never felt happier.

I am so proud of my fellow graduates - those I have known for years, those I have just gotten to know in the past few months. Those that I talk to on the daily, those I used to spend time with and those that I pass with a smile in the halls. We are filled to the brim with so much potential, with our blessings growing exponentially, and there is so much in store for us.

Now we are in the home stretch, ready to close off a chapter of my life that had once seemed impossible to comprehend and complete. But here we are, at the face of a new adventure. Here's to a life full of love and joy and exhilaration.

#gradxiv

Be good, be kind, and spill more ink. Only 20 days left! :)